leave me alone.”
“Nope, I’m on a break right now. Besides, I’ve missed tormenting you.”
“Don’t worry—the people here are getting the job done.”
“Seriously, Caleb.” The brightness of his voice had vanished. “I know that this is shitty. But just try to focus on your job. I think you made a breakthrough when her parents were here.”
“You saw that?”
“I’m on top of it. Would I ever let you down?”
“Hmm,” Caleb grumbled.
“Just be careful.”
“Careful of what?”
“Don’t forget that you’re here to do a job. Once you’re done, you’ll come home. Don’t make things more complicated than they have to be.”
“What are you talking about? How am I making things more complicated?”
“You’re so obvious, Caleb.” He laughed. “You’ve got yourself a little crush on her. Fine, but don’t get too wrapped up.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he snapped, surprised that his temper was flaring. “Stick to your golf game.”
Suddenly Caleb was staring at the window in the hospital. His arm felt heavy, and he couldn’t bear to hold it up for another second; it fell woodenly by his side onto the couch.
He was cold.
And lonely.
He must have come out of it under the two-hour mark. If he hadn’t, he would have found an IV stuck in his hand.
His back felt stiff and he twisted his entire trunk to the left. When he rotated to the right, he found Anna sitting next to him.
“Are you okay?” She sat a foot away from him, her fingertips white from gripping the ends of her sleeves. Her head was level while her eyes looked up to meet his.
“Um, yeah,” he answered, trying to regain control of his body. He could only imagine how foul his breath must smell. He swallowed hard, hoping it might do something to improve the likely stench. “What about you? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“I just thought…I saw your parents here before.”
“Yeah, you saw that, I know.”
He was still so stiff, and his body wanted him to leap up, do jumping jacks, run around the room, but he wouldn’t as long as she was next to him.
“Umm, what—what happens to you when you’re, you know, like that?”
He didn’t want to talk about himself; that wasn’t what he was here for. But it was a start, so he dug in. “It’s hard to put it into words. The official word for it is catatonia .”
“What does it feel like?” She was still so quiet, unsure. There was sympathy for him in her eyes, though. And those eyes—they were so blue and so pretty. He couldn’t stop staring into them. They managed to put him into a different kind of stupor.
“Well, uh…” He was the one struggling now. He needed to figure out how to describe it, and that in itself was hard enough without having to fight what those eyes were doing to him. He thought about how to answer, but it was like trying to tell a deaf person what a voice sounds like. “I know what’s happening around me for the most part. Like I could feel that there was someone sitting next to me.”
She broke eye contact with him and focused down on her hands, which were still gripping her sleeves.
He went on, trying to pick the right words. “At first I know what’s going on, but I’m not a part of it. Everything’s moving so fast all around me.” He was hesitant. “I know people who see me think I’m not moving, like I’m frozen, but I’m moving at my own speed. It doesn’t feel slow to me.”
“Are you lonely?”
“I’m lonely when I’m not like that.”
“But…wouldn’t it be the other way around?”
He took a breath and decided to let her in a little more, see if he could get anywhere—with the mission, of course.
“I’m not alone when I’m like that. I leave, and there’s someone there with me.” Her expression didn’t change as he explained it. She didn’t do anything. Was he scaring her?
“What do you mean? Where do you go? Who’s with you?”
“I go to a room. I meet a guy
“Nope, I’m on a break right now. Besides, I’ve missed tormenting you.”
“Don’t worry—the people here are getting the job done.”
“Seriously, Caleb.” The brightness of his voice had vanished. “I know that this is shitty. But just try to focus on your job. I think you made a breakthrough when her parents were here.”
“You saw that?”
“I’m on top of it. Would I ever let you down?”
“Hmm,” Caleb grumbled.
“Just be careful.”
“Careful of what?”
“Don’t forget that you’re here to do a job. Once you’re done, you’ll come home. Don’t make things more complicated than they have to be.”
“What are you talking about? How am I making things more complicated?”
“You’re so obvious, Caleb.” He laughed. “You’ve got yourself a little crush on her. Fine, but don’t get too wrapped up.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he snapped, surprised that his temper was flaring. “Stick to your golf game.”
Suddenly Caleb was staring at the window in the hospital. His arm felt heavy, and he couldn’t bear to hold it up for another second; it fell woodenly by his side onto the couch.
He was cold.
And lonely.
He must have come out of it under the two-hour mark. If he hadn’t, he would have found an IV stuck in his hand.
His back felt stiff and he twisted his entire trunk to the left. When he rotated to the right, he found Anna sitting next to him.
“Are you okay?” She sat a foot away from him, her fingertips white from gripping the ends of her sleeves. Her head was level while her eyes looked up to meet his.
“Um, yeah,” he answered, trying to regain control of his body. He could only imagine how foul his breath must smell. He swallowed hard, hoping it might do something to improve the likely stench. “What about you? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“I just thought…I saw your parents here before.”
“Yeah, you saw that, I know.”
He was still so stiff, and his body wanted him to leap up, do jumping jacks, run around the room, but he wouldn’t as long as she was next to him.
“Umm, what—what happens to you when you’re, you know, like that?”
He didn’t want to talk about himself; that wasn’t what he was here for. But it was a start, so he dug in. “It’s hard to put it into words. The official word for it is catatonia .”
“What does it feel like?” She was still so quiet, unsure. There was sympathy for him in her eyes, though. And those eyes—they were so blue and so pretty. He couldn’t stop staring into them. They managed to put him into a different kind of stupor.
“Well, uh…” He was the one struggling now. He needed to figure out how to describe it, and that in itself was hard enough without having to fight what those eyes were doing to him. He thought about how to answer, but it was like trying to tell a deaf person what a voice sounds like. “I know what’s happening around me for the most part. Like I could feel that there was someone sitting next to me.”
She broke eye contact with him and focused down on her hands, which were still gripping her sleeves.
He went on, trying to pick the right words. “At first I know what’s going on, but I’m not a part of it. Everything’s moving so fast all around me.” He was hesitant. “I know people who see me think I’m not moving, like I’m frozen, but I’m moving at my own speed. It doesn’t feel slow to me.”
“Are you lonely?”
“I’m lonely when I’m not like that.”
“But…wouldn’t it be the other way around?”
He took a breath and decided to let her in a little more, see if he could get anywhere—with the mission, of course.
“I’m not alone when I’m like that. I leave, and there’s someone there with me.” Her expression didn’t change as he explained it. She didn’t do anything. Was he scaring her?
“What do you mean? Where do you go? Who’s with you?”
“I go to a room. I meet a guy
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