wrong with me? Why did I keep messing up? I went to the party thinking I’d have one drink and I’d walk with Nat on the beach. Instead one drink turned into two, then four, then shots, then yeah… I groaned into my hands and reached into the front pocket of my jeans.
One pill.
One pill? I had one pill left? Did that mean I took three last night? My body started to shudder — mixing pills like that with alcohol wasn’t just stupid it was careless and I’d never been careless with my drug usage.
The sun wasn’t up yet. I watched the waves crash on the ocean, listened to the calm around me and suddenly felt like crying. Either that or ramming my head into the nearest wall.
I liked Nat. Like really liked her and I’d kissed another girl last night, pressured the girl I liked to drink, and then I’m pretty sure I yelled at her and got punched by my brother.
My life should really be a bad sitcom.
Two paths.
Why did the easy path have to be so damn easy? Would Nat forgive me? Hell, I wasn’t sure if I would forgive me if I were in her shoes.
Without a second thought, I got cleaned up and went downstairs to make coffee. I had a hell of a lot of groveling to do.
Alec was downstairs in his running gear drinking a protein shake.
“Ass hole,” He sang. “You’re awake.”
”You punched me.”
“You deserved it.”
I sighed, “I know.”
We fell silent. I shuffled towards the coffee maker and pulled out a mug.
Alec cleared his throat.
“Thank you,” I whispered, “For taking care of Nat, for, being a good brother when I just keep screwing things up… I just…” I felt my emotions take hold. Damn I just wanted to cry all the time. I hated that feeling. I hated feeling PERIOD. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” Alec said quickly.
Curious, I looked up.
He wasn’t making eye contact.
“Did you guys just stay up and talk or what?” I asked.
“We played Go Fish.” A ghost of a smile flashed across Alec’s face. “And then I put her in bed.”
“Without you?” I had to ask it. I hated myself for even needing to ask it. But it was Alec. He had a tendency to screw other people over.
“Yup.” He nodded. “All by herself.”
“Okay.”
“Demetri?”
“Yeah?” I licked my lips, waiting for the lecture I so desperately needed. “What’s up?”
“Fix it.” Alec’s eyes went dark. “Fix it or you’re going to lose her.”
“I will.” I stumbled over the words. “I swear.”
We didn’t say anything more to each other. I made coffee, then went upstairs and knocked on the door.
Nat stirred in her bed then let out a sexy little moan and stretched her arms above her head.
“You have no idea how much you affect me when you do that,” I whispered.
Her eyes flashed open.
Yeah I was fully aware that I looked like a nightmare. My eye was black and blue and I hadn’t even done anything to my hair. And my clothes probably looked out of place considering I’d thrown on something normal. That normal people wear. Like normal jeans and a normal white t-shirt.
Nat’s eyes darted to the floor where a pillow and blanket still remained, “He’s downstairs making breakfast. He said he’d give me some time to talk to you but that if I make you cry I have to drown myself in the ocean.”
She nodded. “I agree to those terms.”
“Ouch.” I chuckled and looked away. “I don’t even know what to say, Nat. ‘Sorry’ just seems lame. ‘I’m an ass’ sounds a little better, but I just don’t know what to say.”
I plopped down onto the bed and ran my hands through my hair. “I really like you. I’ve never liked a girl as much as I like you. I meant everything I said last night. I want to be with you.” She had to know that much was true. She had to believe me.
“And every other girl at Seaside,” she added, her lower lip quivering like she was going to cry. Shit. She could not cry!
“No!” I grabbed her hands and kissed her knuckles. My heart sank to my knees. “You
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