Supernaturally by Kiersten White Page B

hand. “I know. On the bright side, I’m not going anywhere.” Her voice had that edge of irony I remembered so well; funny that what used to scare me about her was now comforting, familiar. Being together was like a little touch of home—a foreign concept for both of us. She looked down at my hand; I thought I saw a tiny flash of light, along with tingling. “What was that?”
    I had forgotten about the stupid sylph. This was hardly the place to bring it up. Another thing to worry about. “I didn’t see anything,” I said.
    “If you’re going to lie you really ought to get better at it.” She lay back on the grass to stare at the sky. “So, you’re sad. What’s the problem?”
    Sighing heavily, I lay back, too. “I don’t know. I’ve finally got the life I wanted for so long. And it’s great, really, and Lend—”
    “I like hearing about him.”
    “I like talking about him. And he’s wonderful. But I haven’t . . . I still haven’t told him.”
    “Yeah, I figured. You’re not really good with the honesty thing.”
    “You’re one to talk!”
    “Hey, I was always honest about what I was doing.” She flashed a wicked grin, reminding me that she wasn’t as innocent as I liked to pretend. “But that’s not what this new crying fit is about, because you’ve known about Lend’s immortal soul for a while now.”
    I shifted uncomfortably. “Reth visited tonight.”
    “Really? Wish he’d visit me. . . .”
    “Vivian!”
    “What? A girl gets lonely in a coma, and faerie or not, he’s pretty .” I wasn’t sure if she wanted him to mess around with or to suck dry—and equally unsure which option creeped me out more. “Go on, though.”
    “I don’t know. He implied that I’m not really happy with the life I chose.” I hated how he always seemed to see straight through me. If he didn’t have to deal with squirmy, unpredictable mortal emotions, why did he have to be so good at reading them?
    “Well, are you happy?”
    “Yes! I am! Of course I am. It’s what I always wanted.”
    “But . . .”
    “Nothing. It’s stupid.”
    “Well, duh. You, my darling sister, are stupid about a lot of things.”
    I glared at her. “Gosh, tender much?”
    She shrugged. “Like I said, I’m honest. Go on. It’s what you always wanted, and?”
    “And it’s not, you know? Lend’s gone so much, and even when he’s here I can’t help but worry that this isn’t the life he’ll choose when he finds out that he’s like his mom. And then Raquel showed up this week, which reminded me of how things used to be. They weren’t great, but I kind of miss . . .” I thought about what my life had been like at IPCA, how much I had dreamed of being normal, of this life I had now. What was it that I missed? It wasn’t the missions, the restrictions, the lifestyle.
    It was mattering.
    “I miss being special. With IPCA, I was special. They needed me. And in the real world, I’m . . . not.” Tears started streaming again and I wiped them away, embarrassed. “I’m sorry. How lame am I, whining my whole life about being different, and then hating being the same as everyone else.”
    Viv pushed up onto her elbows, frowning at me. “But you’re not . You’ve never been the same. So I don’t get it—you haven’t changed. What’s the problem here?”
    “I don’t know.”
    “Get over it then. Do something.”
    “What?”
    She waved a hand dismissively. “Whatever you freaking want to. That’s the glory of being you, Evie. You’ve got a choice. I wouldn’t recommend going on a massive paranormal killing spree, though. It didn’t turn out so hot for me.”
    I let out a strangled laugh. “You’re terrible.”
    “Tell me about it.”
    We were quiet then, both lost in our problems. Finally, Vivian took my hand in her even colder one again, pulling me up to sit next to her. “Well, enough with this pity party. If I’ve been gone for a while, there are important things we need to talk