sweet espresso instead.
I’m looking out across the bar while standing in the kitchen, when I see Charlie coming in. He’s shaking hands with the bouncers, and a couple of people turn to watch him as if he were someone famous, but who they just can’t place right now. How does he do that? It’s more than just his looks. It’s a sort of undeniable confidence and appeal that he oozes. He walks to the bar, and shakes Ricky’s hand. I guess it’s a rare quality to be enchanting to both sexes. Ricky makes him a drink, and Charlie looks up and sees me. He raises his head and smiles. I don’t smile back.
I look over his shoulder and see Danny coming in. The bouncers walk through, and hold the door for him. They know that he’s my boyfriend, and they’re only trying to be cool, but I know he thinks it’s because of his limp, and he hates being given any special treatment. Charlie looks over his shoulder to see what I’m looking at, and when he sees Danny, he turns back to me. I put down my coffee, and leave the kitchen, but by the time I get out, Charlie has already greeted him and brought him over to the bar. I have the sense that I’ve lost a race.
‘Hi, Danny,’ I say, rubbing his back to get his attention.
‘Hey, babe,’ he says, and turns to hug me.
‘Hi, Ruby,’ Charlie says.
‘Hey,’ I reply.
Danny studies my face. ‘You look a little pale, babe,’ he says. ‘You okay?’
I wipe my face with my hands. ‘Sure, I’m okay, honey,’ I tell him. ‘Too many late nights, I guess.’
‘I got news,’ he says. ‘Can we talk?’
I look at Ricky. He’s managing behind the bar, but only barely.
‘I’d better go give Ricky a hand,’ I say, ‘but let’s talk on my break, okay?’
‘He’s fine,’ Danny says, ‘let’s go outside for a bit.’
He takes my hand, but I let go.
‘No seriously, I’d better go do my job.’ He looks hurt.
‘We’ll talk later, honey. I promise,’ I say, and I kiss him on the lips. I see him scowl over in Ricky’s direction as I leave.
Charlie turns, and I see Liam coming in.
‘Hey, Liam. Over here,’ Charlie calls out, and I quicken my pace.
Liam
‘HEY, LIAM. How’s it goin’ bud?’
I half turn me head to see who it is, but continue workin’. I always verbalise the postal codes in me head when sortin’ the letters.
Raheny, Dublin 5. Baldoyle, Dublin 13. Rathmines, Dublin 6.
It’s quite… what’s the word... therapy… it’s quite therapeutic, that’s it.
‘Alrigh’?’ I offer him.
Blackrock, Co. Dublin
.
‘Listen, I, eh, got those DVDs off you last week,’ he says.
Tallaght, Dublin 24. Tralee, Missort.
‘And?’ I ask.
‘And. Yeah, they were good.’
‘Course they were good. I don’t sell shite DVDs.’
Rathfarnham, Dublin 14. Firhouse, Dublin 24.
‘But...’ he says.
‘But wha’?’ I ask, and pull out a new wad of letters, and then shuffle them in me hands to straighten them. ‘Too soft for yeh?’
‘No, no. Nothin’ like that.’
Clondalkin, Dublin 22. Rathlyon, Dublin 16? In your dreams, pal. Dublin 24.
‘Too hardcore, then?’
‘No, no. It was just right.’
‘Like Goldilocks, so,’ I tell him and scratch me beard again. I look down and see white flakes falling onto me black T-shirt. Me beard’s gone a bit... what’s that word? Unkept. Yeah, a bit unkept of late. It’s gone a bit grey on me chin as well. That’s because I haven’t washed it in ages.
‘What’s Goldilocks?’ he asks, but I ignore the question.
Templeogue, Dublin 16.
‘Too wha’ then? Too young?’
‘No.’
‘Too old?’ I ask, raisin’ me eyebrows at him. I stop sortin’ the letters for a few seconds. ‘I don’t do them.’
‘What? No. No, of course not.’
Blanchardstown, Dublin 15. Baldoyle, Dublin 13.
He shifts from one foot to another. I know what he wants. I get it abou’ once a month. They go for the regular porn for a while, but then sooner or later they have to ask for wha’ they really want. First
I’m looking out across the bar while standing in the kitchen, when I see Charlie coming in. He’s shaking hands with the bouncers, and a couple of people turn to watch him as if he were someone famous, but who they just can’t place right now. How does he do that? It’s more than just his looks. It’s a sort of undeniable confidence and appeal that he oozes. He walks to the bar, and shakes Ricky’s hand. I guess it’s a rare quality to be enchanting to both sexes. Ricky makes him a drink, and Charlie looks up and sees me. He raises his head and smiles. I don’t smile back.
I look over his shoulder and see Danny coming in. The bouncers walk through, and hold the door for him. They know that he’s my boyfriend, and they’re only trying to be cool, but I know he thinks it’s because of his limp, and he hates being given any special treatment. Charlie looks over his shoulder to see what I’m looking at, and when he sees Danny, he turns back to me. I put down my coffee, and leave the kitchen, but by the time I get out, Charlie has already greeted him and brought him over to the bar. I have the sense that I’ve lost a race.
‘Hi, Danny,’ I say, rubbing his back to get his attention.
‘Hey, babe,’ he says, and turns to hug me.
‘Hi, Ruby,’ Charlie says.
‘Hey,’ I reply.
Danny studies my face. ‘You look a little pale, babe,’ he says. ‘You okay?’
I wipe my face with my hands. ‘Sure, I’m okay, honey,’ I tell him. ‘Too many late nights, I guess.’
‘I got news,’ he says. ‘Can we talk?’
I look at Ricky. He’s managing behind the bar, but only barely.
‘I’d better go give Ricky a hand,’ I say, ‘but let’s talk on my break, okay?’
‘He’s fine,’ Danny says, ‘let’s go outside for a bit.’
He takes my hand, but I let go.
‘No seriously, I’d better go do my job.’ He looks hurt.
‘We’ll talk later, honey. I promise,’ I say, and I kiss him on the lips. I see him scowl over in Ricky’s direction as I leave.
Charlie turns, and I see Liam coming in.
‘Hey, Liam. Over here,’ Charlie calls out, and I quicken my pace.
Liam
‘HEY, LIAM. How’s it goin’ bud?’
I half turn me head to see who it is, but continue workin’. I always verbalise the postal codes in me head when sortin’ the letters.
Raheny, Dublin 5. Baldoyle, Dublin 13. Rathmines, Dublin 6.
It’s quite… what’s the word... therapy… it’s quite therapeutic, that’s it.
‘Alrigh’?’ I offer him.
Blackrock, Co. Dublin
.
‘Listen, I, eh, got those DVDs off you last week,’ he says.
Tallaght, Dublin 24. Tralee, Missort.
‘And?’ I ask.
‘And. Yeah, they were good.’
‘Course they were good. I don’t sell shite DVDs.’
Rathfarnham, Dublin 14. Firhouse, Dublin 24.
‘But...’ he says.
‘But wha’?’ I ask, and pull out a new wad of letters, and then shuffle them in me hands to straighten them. ‘Too soft for yeh?’
‘No, no. Nothin’ like that.’
Clondalkin, Dublin 22. Rathlyon, Dublin 16? In your dreams, pal. Dublin 24.
‘Too hardcore, then?’
‘No, no. It was just right.’
‘Like Goldilocks, so,’ I tell him and scratch me beard again. I look down and see white flakes falling onto me black T-shirt. Me beard’s gone a bit... what’s that word? Unkept. Yeah, a bit unkept of late. It’s gone a bit grey on me chin as well. That’s because I haven’t washed it in ages.
‘What’s Goldilocks?’ he asks, but I ignore the question.
Templeogue, Dublin 16.
‘Too wha’ then? Too young?’
‘No.’
‘Too old?’ I ask, raisin’ me eyebrows at him. I stop sortin’ the letters for a few seconds. ‘I don’t do them.’
‘What? No. No, of course not.’
Blanchardstown, Dublin 15. Baldoyle, Dublin 13.
He shifts from one foot to another. I know what he wants. I get it abou’ once a month. They go for the regular porn for a while, but then sooner or later they have to ask for wha’ they really want. First
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