red rubber ball which he tried, very unsuccessfully, to balance on his nose. Pam’s glass had been empty for some time. Now she held it out to me and I got up and made her another gin and tonic. I was so distraught that I forgot and put in ice and had to take it out again.
Across the blue, blue pool, in his blue, blue business suit, Uncle Hans noticed me moving, glanced up from his chess problem and called,
‘Nickie, is Anny home yet?’
Uncle Hans was never completely happy if Mother wasn’t around somewhere.
‘Not yet, Uncle,’ I said. I took Pam the drink. ‘What happened then?’
‘Ronnie,’ said Pam, gulping at the drink. ‘Just a few seconds after me, he came running in from the direction of the door that leads out towards the pool house. He saw it of course. While Tray somersaulted and somersaulted, Ronnie and I just looked at each other and at the Old Girl. Then the Old Girl said, ‘Ronnie, Ronnie, she is dead. The neck is broken. Just like Nickie’s father. I know.’ I hadn’t realized that the Old Girl had been there when your father fell, but I suppose she had. For a few moments, we just milled. Ronnie looked like a ghost but he was wonderfully calm. Then Gino and Uncle Hans came in.’
I swallowed. ‘But where had they all been?’
‘My dear, we had a terrible conference. It didn’t take long. Uncle Hans and Gino had stayed on at the pool house together until they got worried. When Ronnie went to the studio to cut off the house phones, someone had called on the studio telephone and held him up.’
‘And Mother?’ I said bleakly.
Pam’s nose looked pinched as if a pair of invisible pliers were squashing it. ‘Just exactly what you’d expect. The moment she’d reached the house, she’d swirled upstairs to Norma’s room and Norma was lying there on the bed. ‘I tried to comfort her,’ she said, ‘but she was quite impossible. She screamed at me like a fishwife and ordered me out of the house.’ So she left Norma lying there and went back downstairs and was just going out of the side door to join us again at the pool house when she heard the crash. She rushed back and there was Norma. Oh, dear, why couldn’t she have left Norma alone? But it’s so like the Old Girl. The milk of human kindness.’
Pam shrugged. ‘But there’s no point in wailing. There we were, just standing hopelessly, looking down at Norma. Then suddenly it all came over me - I mean the appallingness of the situation. If the Old Girl’s found here now! I thought, and my hair curled at the prospect. So I said to Ronnie, ‘Ronnie, we’ve got to get her out of here this very minute.’
Ronnie saw it, of course. For a moment I was terrified the Old Girl would go Noble and Law-Abiding on us, but she was meek as a mouse and I started dragging her towards the front door and the Mercedes. And then - thank God for Uncle Hans.’
She tilted her glass in the direction of Uncle Hans. ‘What did he do?’
‘He was a genius. You know how he can be at really crucial moments. He hadn’t seemed to be paying much attention all through the evening. He’d had a chess problem, I think. But when we were almost in the car, he suddenly said, ‘Anny, darling, if you want them to think we haven’t been here, what about the fondue? What about six dirty plates, six, no, I believe, five salads, five…’ We got the point then. As one, we dashed back to the pool house. Dementedly, with the Old Girl in the Scottie apron at the sink, we washed and dried and put away. It was ghastly! It only took about fifteen minutes but none of us said a word. Then we rushed to the Mercedes again and hurtled home. We never even discussed what Ronnie was going to say to the police. We just left him in the lurch.’
‘And . . .?’ I said.
‘It was all right. Ronnie told them what, I suppose, the Old Girl told you, and Inspector Robinson believed him. At least Ronnie’s sure he did. Right in their presence, Ronnie found a half-empty gin
Across the blue, blue pool, in his blue, blue business suit, Uncle Hans noticed me moving, glanced up from his chess problem and called,
‘Nickie, is Anny home yet?’
Uncle Hans was never completely happy if Mother wasn’t around somewhere.
‘Not yet, Uncle,’ I said. I took Pam the drink. ‘What happened then?’
‘Ronnie,’ said Pam, gulping at the drink. ‘Just a few seconds after me, he came running in from the direction of the door that leads out towards the pool house. He saw it of course. While Tray somersaulted and somersaulted, Ronnie and I just looked at each other and at the Old Girl. Then the Old Girl said, ‘Ronnie, Ronnie, she is dead. The neck is broken. Just like Nickie’s father. I know.’ I hadn’t realized that the Old Girl had been there when your father fell, but I suppose she had. For a few moments, we just milled. Ronnie looked like a ghost but he was wonderfully calm. Then Gino and Uncle Hans came in.’
I swallowed. ‘But where had they all been?’
‘My dear, we had a terrible conference. It didn’t take long. Uncle Hans and Gino had stayed on at the pool house together until they got worried. When Ronnie went to the studio to cut off the house phones, someone had called on the studio telephone and held him up.’
‘And Mother?’ I said bleakly.
Pam’s nose looked pinched as if a pair of invisible pliers were squashing it. ‘Just exactly what you’d expect. The moment she’d reached the house, she’d swirled upstairs to Norma’s room and Norma was lying there on the bed. ‘I tried to comfort her,’ she said, ‘but she was quite impossible. She screamed at me like a fishwife and ordered me out of the house.’ So she left Norma lying there and went back downstairs and was just going out of the side door to join us again at the pool house when she heard the crash. She rushed back and there was Norma. Oh, dear, why couldn’t she have left Norma alone? But it’s so like the Old Girl. The milk of human kindness.’
Pam shrugged. ‘But there’s no point in wailing. There we were, just standing hopelessly, looking down at Norma. Then suddenly it all came over me - I mean the appallingness of the situation. If the Old Girl’s found here now! I thought, and my hair curled at the prospect. So I said to Ronnie, ‘Ronnie, we’ve got to get her out of here this very minute.’
Ronnie saw it, of course. For a moment I was terrified the Old Girl would go Noble and Law-Abiding on us, but she was meek as a mouse and I started dragging her towards the front door and the Mercedes. And then - thank God for Uncle Hans.’
She tilted her glass in the direction of Uncle Hans. ‘What did he do?’
‘He was a genius. You know how he can be at really crucial moments. He hadn’t seemed to be paying much attention all through the evening. He’d had a chess problem, I think. But when we were almost in the car, he suddenly said, ‘Anny, darling, if you want them to think we haven’t been here, what about the fondue? What about six dirty plates, six, no, I believe, five salads, five…’ We got the point then. As one, we dashed back to the pool house. Dementedly, with the Old Girl in the Scottie apron at the sink, we washed and dried and put away. It was ghastly! It only took about fifteen minutes but none of us said a word. Then we rushed to the Mercedes again and hurtled home. We never even discussed what Ronnie was going to say to the police. We just left him in the lurch.’
‘And . . .?’ I said.
‘It was all right. Ronnie told them what, I suppose, the Old Girl told you, and Inspector Robinson believed him. At least Ronnie’s sure he did. Right in their presence, Ronnie found a half-empty gin
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