at the bottom of the hill across the highway, a place we had checked, but she wasn’t there. Sometimes, I pictured her held hostage inside someone’s home, gagged and bound to a chair. Other times, I’d envision her lost in the woods, pinching leaves off trees and dropping them like breadcrumbs, leaving a trail for us to follow. Only she didn’t realize her leaves fell among thousands already on the forest floor.
Each time one of these scenarios ran through my head, anger squeezed my insides ‘til they hurt. Why couldn’t we have grandparents who would rush to our side to help their widowed daughter? Or an aunt who did more than send a Christmas check once a year? Why couldn’t just one member of our family live in Georgia? Why couldn’t just one member of our family care?
“It’s my fault.”
I looked over at CeCe, who was holding Mama’s purse like it was a baby. “What are you talking about?” I said.
She hung her head and shook it back and forth. “While you were out getting your hair done yesterday, I told her I thought she should go to the doctor. She said, ‘What on the earth for?’ I told her why, and she practically breathed fire at me. She didn’t talk to me for the rest of the night.”
“That explains why she looked so out of it when I left after you did. But that’s not your fault. I’m the one who brought up the idea about her going to the doctor after watching that TV program.”
“Yeah, but I should have been more gentle with her.”
The front door swung open and Luke entered holding a bag filled with burgers and fries. We sat down at the kitchen table. I took a few bites, but it felt as if I were trying to eat live bugs. CeCe just pushed her food around the plate, picking apart the burger without much of it disappearing. Luke ate our leftovers.
We had to find Mama. We had to help her. I wanted it all to stop. No doubt, CeCe did too, but she must have decided to distract us for a while. Or maybe she needed to distract herself. After Luke finished eating, she sat down on the living room chair and swung her legs over the arm.
“Remember our first winter here?” she asked. “When Mama sold her new car and bought that old Chevy because we needed the money to heat the trailer, and we missed the bus and Mama had to drive us to school?”
How could I forget that day? The car door wouldn’t shut, so Mama handed us her scarf and told us to attach it to the door. We yanked on it every time the car turned a corner so no one would fall out.”
“Yeah, yeah, I remember that.” I smiled. “I remember Mama yelling, ‘Hold on tight, I don’t wanna lose none of ya!’”
We all had a good chuckle about that, then I said, “And oh, don’t forget the holes in the floor under the carpet mats.”
“Yeah, yeah, the holes,” CeCe said. “Mama always feared we’d drop Luke through one of ‘em.”
Luke wrinkled his nose and scrunched his eyebrows. “Y’all wouldn’t have thrown me out, would ya?”
CeCe and I laughed harder. “Heck, we tried to keep you from falling out. Every time we stopped for a red light, you tried your darnedest to escape.”
“That’s ’cause I wanted to be a stuntman.” Luke smiled, showing all his teeth.
The three of us laughed like we hadn’t a worry in the world. Life stood still, happily for a few moments, until the telephone rang. Still laughing, I grabbed it first.
“Hello?”
“This is the Henry County Police Department,” said the voice on the other end.
CHAPTER 8
T he emergency room at Henry Medical Center smelled like cigarette smoke and urine washed over with antiseptic. I’d never been there before, and I didn’t expect to see so many people that resembled those with the symptoms the doctor on the talk show spoke about. Although most needed physical care, many seemed to need mental health care, and this wasn’t a mental hospital.
Some of the people roamed about like zombies in B-movies. Their vacant stares said,
Each time one of these scenarios ran through my head, anger squeezed my insides ‘til they hurt. Why couldn’t we have grandparents who would rush to our side to help their widowed daughter? Or an aunt who did more than send a Christmas check once a year? Why couldn’t just one member of our family live in Georgia? Why couldn’t just one member of our family care?
“It’s my fault.”
I looked over at CeCe, who was holding Mama’s purse like it was a baby. “What are you talking about?” I said.
She hung her head and shook it back and forth. “While you were out getting your hair done yesterday, I told her I thought she should go to the doctor. She said, ‘What on the earth for?’ I told her why, and she practically breathed fire at me. She didn’t talk to me for the rest of the night.”
“That explains why she looked so out of it when I left after you did. But that’s not your fault. I’m the one who brought up the idea about her going to the doctor after watching that TV program.”
“Yeah, but I should have been more gentle with her.”
The front door swung open and Luke entered holding a bag filled with burgers and fries. We sat down at the kitchen table. I took a few bites, but it felt as if I were trying to eat live bugs. CeCe just pushed her food around the plate, picking apart the burger without much of it disappearing. Luke ate our leftovers.
We had to find Mama. We had to help her. I wanted it all to stop. No doubt, CeCe did too, but she must have decided to distract us for a while. Or maybe she needed to distract herself. After Luke finished eating, she sat down on the living room chair and swung her legs over the arm.
“Remember our first winter here?” she asked. “When Mama sold her new car and bought that old Chevy because we needed the money to heat the trailer, and we missed the bus and Mama had to drive us to school?”
How could I forget that day? The car door wouldn’t shut, so Mama handed us her scarf and told us to attach it to the door. We yanked on it every time the car turned a corner so no one would fall out.”
“Yeah, yeah, I remember that.” I smiled. “I remember Mama yelling, ‘Hold on tight, I don’t wanna lose none of ya!’”
We all had a good chuckle about that, then I said, “And oh, don’t forget the holes in the floor under the carpet mats.”
“Yeah, yeah, the holes,” CeCe said. “Mama always feared we’d drop Luke through one of ‘em.”
Luke wrinkled his nose and scrunched his eyebrows. “Y’all wouldn’t have thrown me out, would ya?”
CeCe and I laughed harder. “Heck, we tried to keep you from falling out. Every time we stopped for a red light, you tried your darnedest to escape.”
“That’s ’cause I wanted to be a stuntman.” Luke smiled, showing all his teeth.
The three of us laughed like we hadn’t a worry in the world. Life stood still, happily for a few moments, until the telephone rang. Still laughing, I grabbed it first.
“Hello?”
“This is the Henry County Police Department,” said the voice on the other end.
CHAPTER 8
T he emergency room at Henry Medical Center smelled like cigarette smoke and urine washed over with antiseptic. I’d never been there before, and I didn’t expect to see so many people that resembled those with the symptoms the doctor on the talk show spoke about. Although most needed physical care, many seemed to need mental health care, and this wasn’t a mental hospital.
Some of the people roamed about like zombies in B-movies. Their vacant stares said,
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