she’ll be there.
I let out my breath as I find her sat on a chair admiring her garden. She looks content, but I’m not sure how long that will last with me here to spoil it all. She jumps up when she sees me.
“Ana, I’m so gla d you decided to come and visit. I felt terrible about yesterday and hope that you can forgive me. I didn’t mean—”
I stop her feeling the anger rise , and the bile I want to spill burning my throat. “Who’s Anabelle Thompson?”
Her eyes widen and she places her hand on her forehead. The name has definitely sparked a reaction.
“Ana, please— ”
I put my hand up to stop her again, “Please just tell me the truth for once in your life. You owe me that much, don’t you think?” She sighs heavily and looks to the floor ashamed.
“She was my half sister from our father’s side and I loved her dearly. Unfortunately I also loved your father in a way that I shouldn’t have. He never returned my love of course. He loved your mother too much, but I still would have done anything for him. He was the only man I ever truly loved with all my heart. When he went away, I promised that I would look after you until his return, but then he died. I was heartbroken and I didn’t know what to do. I knew I couldn’t give you away; you were my niece and a part of me no matter what; and of course, a part of him.
“ Before he went away he made me promise him that I would care for you and bring you up as my own if anything was ever to happen to him. I couldn’t break that no matter what. I did try to give you a good life. I don’t know, maybe you would have been better off being adopted by someone else who could have taken care of you and given you a better life than the one I gave you. I’m sorry, Ana, I really am.”
Unsteady on my feet, I go and sit down so I can process everything that she has just divulged. Stunned into silence, I stare off into space, unable to force my brain into gear and speak. It is only when she tries to touch my hand that I flinch, pulling my hand back as I glare at her.
“D on’t touch me. You don’t understand what you put me through. You have no idea of the shit I had to go through with Alan, do you? He was a monster. Why didn’t you ever see that? Did you know he visited my room and the vile things he did? Do you? He hurt me and you weren’t there for me.”
Right then all the rage, sorrow, despair was pouring out of me in that one moment. For so many years I have kept it bottled up inside, not telling a soul of the pain I had to endure at the innocent age of twelve and thirteen. Sometimes I feel so rotten to the core about not telling anyone sooner. He could have been locked away from any other poor victims he may decide to unleash his evil on.
The tear s were starting now and my mum—if I can ever call her that—now looked on in shock.
“I’m so sorry , Ana, I really am. I know your mum and dad would be ashamed of me for what I did. I want so much to take that away from you. You must believe me.”
I wipe my eyes trying to compose myself. “Why do you do it? Why can’t you just settle down?”
The tears were starting down her face now, as she tries hard to answer the questions that have been forever on my lips.
“I’ve never gotten over your dad , Ana. He was the love of my life. When he died my mind went into a pit of despair that I’ve never been able to crawl back out of. After all the heartache of losing him, I held onto rage. I blamed him for leaving me and the anger from that was easier to hold on to than the despair I felt. Every man was the embodiment of evil as far as I was concerned and deserved to be treated as such. I know I hurt some of them, but others like Alan, deserved it. I thought I could treat Jake in the same way, but I saw the way he took care of Matthew, the way he wanted to take care of you. I
I let out my breath as I find her sat on a chair admiring her garden. She looks content, but I’m not sure how long that will last with me here to spoil it all. She jumps up when she sees me.
“Ana, I’m so gla d you decided to come and visit. I felt terrible about yesterday and hope that you can forgive me. I didn’t mean—”
I stop her feeling the anger rise , and the bile I want to spill burning my throat. “Who’s Anabelle Thompson?”
Her eyes widen and she places her hand on her forehead. The name has definitely sparked a reaction.
“Ana, please— ”
I put my hand up to stop her again, “Please just tell me the truth for once in your life. You owe me that much, don’t you think?” She sighs heavily and looks to the floor ashamed.
“She was my half sister from our father’s side and I loved her dearly. Unfortunately I also loved your father in a way that I shouldn’t have. He never returned my love of course. He loved your mother too much, but I still would have done anything for him. He was the only man I ever truly loved with all my heart. When he went away, I promised that I would look after you until his return, but then he died. I was heartbroken and I didn’t know what to do. I knew I couldn’t give you away; you were my niece and a part of me no matter what; and of course, a part of him.
“ Before he went away he made me promise him that I would care for you and bring you up as my own if anything was ever to happen to him. I couldn’t break that no matter what. I did try to give you a good life. I don’t know, maybe you would have been better off being adopted by someone else who could have taken care of you and given you a better life than the one I gave you. I’m sorry, Ana, I really am.”
Unsteady on my feet, I go and sit down so I can process everything that she has just divulged. Stunned into silence, I stare off into space, unable to force my brain into gear and speak. It is only when she tries to touch my hand that I flinch, pulling my hand back as I glare at her.
“D on’t touch me. You don’t understand what you put me through. You have no idea of the shit I had to go through with Alan, do you? He was a monster. Why didn’t you ever see that? Did you know he visited my room and the vile things he did? Do you? He hurt me and you weren’t there for me.”
Right then all the rage, sorrow, despair was pouring out of me in that one moment. For so many years I have kept it bottled up inside, not telling a soul of the pain I had to endure at the innocent age of twelve and thirteen. Sometimes I feel so rotten to the core about not telling anyone sooner. He could have been locked away from any other poor victims he may decide to unleash his evil on.
The tear s were starting now and my mum—if I can ever call her that—now looked on in shock.
“I’m so sorry , Ana, I really am. I know your mum and dad would be ashamed of me for what I did. I want so much to take that away from you. You must believe me.”
I wipe my eyes trying to compose myself. “Why do you do it? Why can’t you just settle down?”
The tears were starting down her face now, as she tries hard to answer the questions that have been forever on my lips.
“I’ve never gotten over your dad , Ana. He was the love of my life. When he died my mind went into a pit of despair that I’ve never been able to crawl back out of. After all the heartache of losing him, I held onto rage. I blamed him for leaving me and the anger from that was easier to hold on to than the despair I felt. Every man was the embodiment of evil as far as I was concerned and deserved to be treated as such. I know I hurt some of them, but others like Alan, deserved it. I thought I could treat Jake in the same way, but I saw the way he took care of Matthew, the way he wanted to take care of you. I
Similar Books
