couldn’t do that to him. It is why I left in the end. I knew I wasn’t making him happy, so it was silly of me to stick around. I did try to stay away and get on with my life. I thought I was doing the best thing for you. And for Jake.”
She pulls a tissue out from her pocket an d hands it to me as I look at her in horror. “I want to ask you something, and I want you to please answer me honestly. Can you do that for me?”
I look at her pleadingly and she holds my stare for a while before she nods. “This baby you’re carrying. Is it really Jake’s?”
Her eyes downcast, she bites her lip. She thinks long and hard before her reply, but I already know from her reaction exactly what the answer will be.
“Before I left I was a mess. I went out drinking a lot because of the guilt I have always carried around with me. One night at a bar, I met a man. He was the image of your father. At first I thought I was hallucinating. He offered me a drink and one thing led to another. I woke up the next day in his bed feeling terrible about what I had done.
I couldn’t remember anything , and felt I had to leave before he woke up and kicked me out. I didn’t want to feel any rejection, so I left. I felt bad about what I did to Jake, but he didn’t seem to care that much about where I was. I lied and told him that I went drinking with a friend and stayed at her house. Jake just accepted it and all was forgotten after that.
“ The problem being is, when I slept with this stranger we obviously hadn’t taken any precautions, as a couple of weeks later, I find out I’m pregnant. I needed time to think about what I was going to do, so I left.”
I took my time processing everything that she says before I speak. Somehow through all of this, I feel giddy in the laughable sense. My whole life has been a comedy of errors. No matter of my betrayal from Jake, he has always been a good man at heart and does take care of what is close to him. It makes me angry that she has taken advantage of that kindness.
“You thought that if you said it was Jake’s , that he would accept you with open arms? What were you thinking? You were going to get a paternity test. That little secret of yours would have been revealed anyway in a couple of week’s time. Why are you prolonging the agony for him? It’s completely unfair, Stella. He has only ever been kind to us.”
The hurt in her eyes when I call her by her name is abundantly clear , but she’s not my mum, and never has been.
“I needed time to figure out what I was going to do first. I know I was doing wrong , but I knew Jake would look after me. He loves and cares very deeply for Matthew and knew he would do the same for me. That time we went out for a meal a few months ago I threatened to leave and take you with me unless I had more. I made him propose even though I knew he didn’t want me. It sounds terrible, but he has money. He could have supported us both financially and I would never have to worry about money ever again. I don’t know why he looked so scared about me leaving, but I didn’t care. I took advantage. I know that, and I feel bad about it all the time.”
She looks sheepish ly at me and so she should do. Her life has been one big lie.
“That’s called entrapment and Jake doesn’t deserve that. You need to go and find whoever it was you slept with and speak to him about this. It’s his responsibility , not Jake’s.”
She nods her head, “I know, I know. I’m just so scared. I’ve never been pregnant and alone before. I don’t know what else to do.”
I see the despair in her eyes and my heart softens for her at that moment. Whatever it is I feel for her, the baby growing inside her doesn’t deserve the same treatment.
“Listen, I have some money I ’ve been saving to buy my own place. It’s not a great deal, but it will be
She pulls a tissue out from her pocket an d hands it to me as I look at her in horror. “I want to ask you something, and I want you to please answer me honestly. Can you do that for me?”
I look at her pleadingly and she holds my stare for a while before she nods. “This baby you’re carrying. Is it really Jake’s?”
Her eyes downcast, she bites her lip. She thinks long and hard before her reply, but I already know from her reaction exactly what the answer will be.
“Before I left I was a mess. I went out drinking a lot because of the guilt I have always carried around with me. One night at a bar, I met a man. He was the image of your father. At first I thought I was hallucinating. He offered me a drink and one thing led to another. I woke up the next day in his bed feeling terrible about what I had done.
I couldn’t remember anything , and felt I had to leave before he woke up and kicked me out. I didn’t want to feel any rejection, so I left. I felt bad about what I did to Jake, but he didn’t seem to care that much about where I was. I lied and told him that I went drinking with a friend and stayed at her house. Jake just accepted it and all was forgotten after that.
“ The problem being is, when I slept with this stranger we obviously hadn’t taken any precautions, as a couple of weeks later, I find out I’m pregnant. I needed time to think about what I was going to do, so I left.”
I took my time processing everything that she says before I speak. Somehow through all of this, I feel giddy in the laughable sense. My whole life has been a comedy of errors. No matter of my betrayal from Jake, he has always been a good man at heart and does take care of what is close to him. It makes me angry that she has taken advantage of that kindness.
“You thought that if you said it was Jake’s , that he would accept you with open arms? What were you thinking? You were going to get a paternity test. That little secret of yours would have been revealed anyway in a couple of week’s time. Why are you prolonging the agony for him? It’s completely unfair, Stella. He has only ever been kind to us.”
The hurt in her eyes when I call her by her name is abundantly clear , but she’s not my mum, and never has been.
“I needed time to figure out what I was going to do first. I know I was doing wrong , but I knew Jake would look after me. He loves and cares very deeply for Matthew and knew he would do the same for me. That time we went out for a meal a few months ago I threatened to leave and take you with me unless I had more. I made him propose even though I knew he didn’t want me. It sounds terrible, but he has money. He could have supported us both financially and I would never have to worry about money ever again. I don’t know why he looked so scared about me leaving, but I didn’t care. I took advantage. I know that, and I feel bad about it all the time.”
She looks sheepish ly at me and so she should do. Her life has been one big lie.
“That’s called entrapment and Jake doesn’t deserve that. You need to go and find whoever it was you slept with and speak to him about this. It’s his responsibility , not Jake’s.”
She nods her head, “I know, I know. I’m just so scared. I’ve never been pregnant and alone before. I don’t know what else to do.”
I see the despair in her eyes and my heart softens for her at that moment. Whatever it is I feel for her, the baby growing inside her doesn’t deserve the same treatment.
“Listen, I have some money I ’ve been saving to buy my own place. It’s not a great deal, but it will be
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