Tall, Dark & Apocalyptic by Sam Cheever

single thank you for my hours of trouble on your behalf.”
    Audie frowned. “Who the hell is Glowbug?”
    The little man reached a spidery finger toward Audie’s face and he flinched away. But he couldn’t escape the finger, or the cool green salve the man spread carefully over the burning skin. “Now he repeats the questions.” The little head swung from side to side, sending the pointed hat into paroxysms of echoing disgust.
    “Audie jerked his head sideways. “Stop!”
    The beady black eyes widened, the impossibly long fingers hung in mid-air, a shiny glob of green glistening on the knobby tips. “I need to know how I got here and why you have me strapped down. Do you work for the witch?”
    The creature, which resembled a gnome Audie had once met, tilted his head and pursed wrinkled lips. Finally he said, “I work for no one. I help her as needed.”
    Audie’s pulse sped. “Why didn’t she just let me die?”
    The long fingers moved toward him again and continued smoothing glop on Audie’s damaged skin. Desperate as he was to get free, Audie couldn’t deny the pure bliss of that cooling salve. He had to fight the hypnotic rubbing against his temples to retain his anger. “Answer me!”
    The small, wrinkled face bent into its prune-like state again, the black eyes snapping. “Don’t push it, Hunter. Your value to Glowbug doesn’t transfer to me. I care not if you die.”
    Audie decided, since the gnome had the upper hand he’d have to back it down a notch.
    At least until he’d bargained for his release. “I would like to be released from these bonds.”
    A sly smile curved above the beard in the nut-colored face. “What value do you place on your freedom?”
    Audie had been ready for the question. “You were wrong. I do have value to you. “
    The gnome’s smile widened. “Go on, Hunter. This amuses me.”
    “The Sorceri hunt the witch and her associates. Day by day we’re eliminating them. We won’t stop until all of you are dead. If you release me you have my word that I’ll spare your life.”
    The little gnome laughed. “I am older than the ground you stand upon. Older than the twenty worlds. I don’t need your puny protections, Hunter.”
    Okay, the creature was delusional. Audie cast about for a suitable response, not finding one.
    “But your luck is with you this day. “The gnome swung a spidery hand over Audie and the metal bands that had been binding him to the table fell away. “Glowbug wishes you to live.”
    He turned away and hopped down from the stool he’d been standing on, his wide, meaty feet pounding away from Audie.
    Audie sat up quickly, intent on killing the little man for his association with the dark one, and nearly passed out. His vision grayed dangerously. Audie shook his head to allay the dizziness and tried to stand. He needed his sword.
    Slap, slap, slap… the little gnome suddenly stood before him again, a familiar chunk of blue rock gripped in one spindly hand.
    As Audie tried to remember where he’d seen a similar piece of rock, the gnome reached one lanky finger toward him.
    “You would do well to trust her, Hunter.”
    Audie flinched away as the finger stretched closer. Too late. The gnome touched him and he was ripped away, his jaw clenched against the agony of having all his cells transported through space and time.
    Long moments later, Audie hit the ground and rolled, swearing. He lay there a moment, panting, before the sounds of metal clashing with metal and pain-filled screams filtered through his exhausted mind.
    He shoved to his knees and looked around. The stones beneath him were slimy and cold, covered with the frosty mist of a crashing black sea. The air was thick with fog and dark, stinking of fish. He was at Authority headquarters, in the exact same spot where he’d come across Yeira before his poisonous adventure.
    “What the hell?”
    Footsteps approached and Audie looked up, seeing a man with a sword running toward him.
    “Don’t