groaned in frustration when my mind drifted back to her.
She had plagued my mind ever since that text two weeks ago. Since Italy, I’d had some time to think. I was torn between who I’d thought she was with the possibility that she was exactly like my mother. My mind screamed that all the signs pointed to the same thing: Alexis was pregnant with Chris’s child. The secret texts and calls between Alexis and Chris, the call Alexis had had with the doctor’s office about an upcoming appointment to find out some test results, the fact that Chris was the name of Alexis’s most recent ex-boyfriend, the fact that I hadn’t seen Alexis drink a drop of alcohol in the last two weeks, and—my hands punched the steering wheel in anger at the last thought—the fact that Alexis hadn’t let me fuck her for several days now.
Even though I knew all this, I couldn’t shake this feeling that I had it all wrong. I couldn’t seem to accept that Alexis was with Chris and had played me for a fool. No matter how my head laid out all the facts, my heart rejected the thought that the first and only woman I’d ever had any sort of feelings for would hurt me like this.
But your mother was able to fool the man you thought was your father that she was faithful for over twenty years! a voice screamed inside. Don’t be as stupid as that man!
I shook my head, trying to get rid of that voice. I stepped farther down onto the gas and beelined through the Saturday morning traffic. I’d been waiting for her to tell me the truth about Chris and what she’d been hiding from me. I wanted to be patient with her because a part of me didn’t want to believe that she was anything like my mother. But I wasn’t sure how long I would be able to hold on to my patience.
My blood began to boil as my mind raced with images of Alexis and Chris together. It wasn’t until I parked in front of my bar that I realized my knuckles were bone white from gripping the steering wheel too tightly. I knew I needed to see Alexis. Thinking about her with another man was bad enough, but not having sex for the last three days was pushing me into a state of frenzy.
I jumped out of the car and ran up the steps to the second floor. I knocked on Unit 205.
A minute later, Alexis opened the door, and I saw the deer-in-headlights expression on her face.
“Hi!” she exclaimed in a high-pitched voice.
“Hey, baby!” I pulled her toward me and kissed her on the forehead.
“Did we have plans to hang out this morning? I wasn’t expecting you.” She smiled at me, but it wasn’t that warm smile that caused my stomach to flip—the smile I’d loved so much that caused a cute, tiny dimple to appear right above the left corner of her soft, pink lips. This smile was empty.
“No, we didn’t have plans, but I wanted to see you. Why? Are you busy with something?” I casually looked over her shoulder, half expecting Chris to appear behind her shoulders. Stop being so fucking paranoid! I tried to reason with myself. Since Italy, Alexis and I had spent most of our free time together. I’d also asked Beth, one of the bartenders at Damian’s, to keep an out on when she came and went from her apartment building. I told her that Alexis had an ex-boyfriend who had taken advantage of her in the past and I was concerned for her. So far, Beth hadn’t seen anything suspicious.
“No, I’m not busy at all. I just woke up.” She yawned as she rubbed her eyes.
I looked at my watch. “It’s eleven a.m.”
“Yeah. I guess I was really tired last night.” I watched her shift slightly as she looked at her feet.
“How are you feeling?”
“What do you mean?” She looked up at me in concern. “I’m fine.” Her eyes seemed swollen and she looked like she hadn’t slept at all last night.
I brushed my hand across her neck and tilted her face up toward me. My thumb caressed her cheek and I gently kissed her forehead. Something’s wrong. Why does she look so sad? As I watched
She had plagued my mind ever since that text two weeks ago. Since Italy, I’d had some time to think. I was torn between who I’d thought she was with the possibility that she was exactly like my mother. My mind screamed that all the signs pointed to the same thing: Alexis was pregnant with Chris’s child. The secret texts and calls between Alexis and Chris, the call Alexis had had with the doctor’s office about an upcoming appointment to find out some test results, the fact that Chris was the name of Alexis’s most recent ex-boyfriend, the fact that I hadn’t seen Alexis drink a drop of alcohol in the last two weeks, and—my hands punched the steering wheel in anger at the last thought—the fact that Alexis hadn’t let me fuck her for several days now.
Even though I knew all this, I couldn’t shake this feeling that I had it all wrong. I couldn’t seem to accept that Alexis was with Chris and had played me for a fool. No matter how my head laid out all the facts, my heart rejected the thought that the first and only woman I’d ever had any sort of feelings for would hurt me like this.
But your mother was able to fool the man you thought was your father that she was faithful for over twenty years! a voice screamed inside. Don’t be as stupid as that man!
I shook my head, trying to get rid of that voice. I stepped farther down onto the gas and beelined through the Saturday morning traffic. I’d been waiting for her to tell me the truth about Chris and what she’d been hiding from me. I wanted to be patient with her because a part of me didn’t want to believe that she was anything like my mother. But I wasn’t sure how long I would be able to hold on to my patience.
My blood began to boil as my mind raced with images of Alexis and Chris together. It wasn’t until I parked in front of my bar that I realized my knuckles were bone white from gripping the steering wheel too tightly. I knew I needed to see Alexis. Thinking about her with another man was bad enough, but not having sex for the last three days was pushing me into a state of frenzy.
I jumped out of the car and ran up the steps to the second floor. I knocked on Unit 205.
A minute later, Alexis opened the door, and I saw the deer-in-headlights expression on her face.
“Hi!” she exclaimed in a high-pitched voice.
“Hey, baby!” I pulled her toward me and kissed her on the forehead.
“Did we have plans to hang out this morning? I wasn’t expecting you.” She smiled at me, but it wasn’t that warm smile that caused my stomach to flip—the smile I’d loved so much that caused a cute, tiny dimple to appear right above the left corner of her soft, pink lips. This smile was empty.
“No, we didn’t have plans, but I wanted to see you. Why? Are you busy with something?” I casually looked over her shoulder, half expecting Chris to appear behind her shoulders. Stop being so fucking paranoid! I tried to reason with myself. Since Italy, Alexis and I had spent most of our free time together. I’d also asked Beth, one of the bartenders at Damian’s, to keep an out on when she came and went from her apartment building. I told her that Alexis had an ex-boyfriend who had taken advantage of her in the past and I was concerned for her. So far, Beth hadn’t seen anything suspicious.
“No, I’m not busy at all. I just woke up.” She yawned as she rubbed her eyes.
I looked at my watch. “It’s eleven a.m.”
“Yeah. I guess I was really tired last night.” I watched her shift slightly as she looked at her feet.
“How are you feeling?”
“What do you mean?” She looked up at me in concern. “I’m fine.” Her eyes seemed swollen and she looked like she hadn’t slept at all last night.
I brushed my hand across her neck and tilted her face up toward me. My thumb caressed her cheek and I gently kissed her forehead. Something’s wrong. Why does she look so sad? As I watched
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