Tappin' On Thirty by Candice Dow

in the office chair. I smiled. “Hey, sexy.”
    She smirked. “Hey.”
    Her eyes scrutinized me. “You smell like cigarettes.”
    â€œCan I get a hug?”
    â€œI don’t hug nicotine junkies.”
    I walked up to her and grabbed her hand, yanking her from the chair. “Give me a hug, girl.”
    I pulled on the waist of her scrubs. She reluctantly swung her arms around me. I tilted her head back and kissed her lips. She frowned. “You stink.”
    I cuddled her head into my chest. “I’m sorry.”
    â€œYou don’t have to apologize to me for trying to kill yourself,” she grunted.
    As her head lay on my chest, I thought I did owe her an apology. She didn’t deserve to be a part of the battle inside my head. She stepped backward and plopped down in the chair. Her arms folded and she looked me up and down. “So, I take it you had a good time.” She curled her lips. “What made you start sticking those cancer sticks back in your mouth?”
    â€œI don’t know.”
    She spun back around to face the computer. “When the cats away, the mice will play?”
    I chuckled at her analogy. Was I the mouse and she the cat? Resting my elbows on the top of the chair, I stood behind her. “Whatchu looking at?”
    â€œBuying some new work shoes.” She clicked the shopping cart. “I figured we needed some new ones.”
    She selected the Drew Deersoft shoes I’d been eyeing since I began my residency, but the $200 price tag prohibited me from ever finalizing the transaction.
    â€œAren’t these the ones you like?” I nodded and she said, “I got you a thirteen. You think that’s good.”
    I twirled the chair around. “Baby, you’re buying me some shoes?”
    â€œUh-huh.”
    I kissed her and she pushed my face away. “Yeah, I still take care of you even though you’re trying to kill yourself.”
    Guilt filled my lungs and I coughed. “What would I do without you?” I verbalized what I was asking myself.
    â€œYou tell me.”
    I kissed her again. “Thank you, baby.”
    She smiled. “Yeah, I can’t have my man walking into the hospital with those run-down Darcos you have in there.”
    I laughed and headed to the bedroom to unpack. “What’s for dinner?”
    â€œFrozen dinner. I’m going to work. I signed up for a moonlighting shift tonight.”
    When I walked into the bedroom, my laundry was folded neatly in a basket. I dropped my head. How could I question if she was my ideal mate? Thoughts of her insensitivity and arrogance I’d pushed to the forefront of my mind on the drive home began to drift away. They were just excuses for my selfishness.
    I plopped down on the bed and stretched out. Taylor whispered into my ear, “Scootie-Boo.”
    Her vulnerable eyes pierced through me. “I’ve never stopped loving you.”
    She climbed on top of me. Her waist gyrated. She purred. My hands traveled around her and groped her inner thighs from behind. As I guided her strokes, she pounded on me.
    When Akua slammed a textbook on the dresser, it startled me. I discovered my hand inside of my sweatpants. Trying to appear composed, I didn’t stop groping myself. Instead I reached my free arm out for her, “C’mon baby. Lie down with me,” I said.
    â€œDidn’t I tell you I had to work?”
    I begged, “C’mon. Just let me feel you.”
    She packed her backpack. “I have to go to work.”
    I watched her maneuver around the room. Hoping my body would transition in accordance with my mind, I pleaded, “C’mon baby. I need it.”
    She sucked her teeth. “I’m only working until midnight. I’ll give it to you when I come home.”
    I stopped fantasizing and sat up on the bed. Akua is too punctual to play. Since this sexual encounter was not on the agenda, it was best that I take a