lips parted and her tongue found mine. I held her in my arms as tightly as I could. I'd made my decision, she was where home was. She suddenly gasped and pulled away. She looked down toward her tiny protruding belly.
"Did you feel that?" she asked.
"Feel what?" I looked at her and panicked a little bit. "Are you ok?"
She laughed and nodded. She grabbed my hand and put it back on her abdomen.
"It's the baby. It's kicking. This hasn't happened before."
I kept my hand there in disbelief. There was a life inside there that needed me, and I would be there. We fell asleep that way, for hours, our hands entwined, and holding onto our baby.
ELEVEN
It took a lot of deep breaths to walk into coach's office, to tell him the decision I had made. But I kept to my word and told coach on that Monday, that I needed to get a scholarship somewhere locally. The disappointment showed in his eyes, but this was one I could live with.
"Meryhist is the best baseball school in the country. Do you have any idea what you're giving up?" he asked me.
"Do you know what I'd be giving up if I left?" I asked him back. I'd made up my mind. My dreams would have to be put on hold. I knew there was a very slim chance of being recruited to play in the majors out of one of our local colleges. But I'd made up my mind. I'd train ten times harder than anyone else, throw faster, pitch better than anyone we played. I knew it was a long shot, but it wasn't impossible. I was letting one lifelong dream fall away, but I'd be damned if I'd give up already on my next one.
Coach nodded his head. "I'll make the call."
I left the office with such a heavy feeling of sadness, even though I knew I did the right thing. My head was so stuck in the dark clouds that swirled about me when I started walking down the hall, that I hardly noticed Blake running up to me, until he was right in my face.
"Hey man! You decided about prom yet?" he asked me.
"Prom?"
"Yea man, I asked you like two weeks ago if you and Lauren were going to be in the limo with us for prom. You said you'd let me know."
I had totally forgotten all about prom. I felt like I was starting to lose my balance everywhere.
"No sorry. I'll ask her tonight."
It was a moment or two before I realized Blake stopped walking with me and just stood there. "Ya know, it's not my fucking problem that you got her knocked up. It's not my fucking problem that no one likes her, but I was trying to be your friend and ask you with us. You act like you don't even give a shit about anyone anymore."
I was starting to feel my chest burn with frustration again. I wanted to scream until the windows shattered. "So sorry that my life interferes with your drinking and partying. But friends? Do you really think we're friends?" I was spitting the words at him. "Would friends completely ignore my girlfriend and treat her like trash? Would friends stop inviting me places just because I'm about to have a kid? No, they wouldn't. I didn't plan to have a kid at 18, I didn't plan to ruin my life!"
I turned to storm down the hall and I saw her. She didn't wait two seconds before she turned and ran away. I was gulping down air like I'd never had it before, like I just realized I needed it to live. I was looking from person to person; they all stared at me like they'd never seen me before. Even Blake just stood there with his mouth hanging open in disbelief. I stormed down the hall and through the doors of the school.
To anyone else it would have looked like I was leaving school. But I wasn't, I headed down the path to the baseball diamond. I saw her standing on top of the pitcher's mound, kicking at the dirt, rubbing circles over her belly. My pace slowed when I saw her, because even though I knew where to find her, I didn't know what to say.
"I can see why you like it out here," she called to me. I stood behind the backstop wondering where she was
"Did you feel that?" she asked.
"Feel what?" I looked at her and panicked a little bit. "Are you ok?"
She laughed and nodded. She grabbed my hand and put it back on her abdomen.
"It's the baby. It's kicking. This hasn't happened before."
I kept my hand there in disbelief. There was a life inside there that needed me, and I would be there. We fell asleep that way, for hours, our hands entwined, and holding onto our baby.
ELEVEN
It took a lot of deep breaths to walk into coach's office, to tell him the decision I had made. But I kept to my word and told coach on that Monday, that I needed to get a scholarship somewhere locally. The disappointment showed in his eyes, but this was one I could live with.
"Meryhist is the best baseball school in the country. Do you have any idea what you're giving up?" he asked me.
"Do you know what I'd be giving up if I left?" I asked him back. I'd made up my mind. My dreams would have to be put on hold. I knew there was a very slim chance of being recruited to play in the majors out of one of our local colleges. But I'd made up my mind. I'd train ten times harder than anyone else, throw faster, pitch better than anyone we played. I knew it was a long shot, but it wasn't impossible. I was letting one lifelong dream fall away, but I'd be damned if I'd give up already on my next one.
Coach nodded his head. "I'll make the call."
I left the office with such a heavy feeling of sadness, even though I knew I did the right thing. My head was so stuck in the dark clouds that swirled about me when I started walking down the hall, that I hardly noticed Blake running up to me, until he was right in my face.
"Hey man! You decided about prom yet?" he asked me.
"Prom?"
"Yea man, I asked you like two weeks ago if you and Lauren were going to be in the limo with us for prom. You said you'd let me know."
I had totally forgotten all about prom. I felt like I was starting to lose my balance everywhere.
"No sorry. I'll ask her tonight."
It was a moment or two before I realized Blake stopped walking with me and just stood there. "Ya know, it's not my fucking problem that you got her knocked up. It's not my fucking problem that no one likes her, but I was trying to be your friend and ask you with us. You act like you don't even give a shit about anyone anymore."
I was starting to feel my chest burn with frustration again. I wanted to scream until the windows shattered. "So sorry that my life interferes with your drinking and partying. But friends? Do you really think we're friends?" I was spitting the words at him. "Would friends completely ignore my girlfriend and treat her like trash? Would friends stop inviting me places just because I'm about to have a kid? No, they wouldn't. I didn't plan to have a kid at 18, I didn't plan to ruin my life!"
I turned to storm down the hall and I saw her. She didn't wait two seconds before she turned and ran away. I was gulping down air like I'd never had it before, like I just realized I needed it to live. I was looking from person to person; they all stared at me like they'd never seen me before. Even Blake just stood there with his mouth hanging open in disbelief. I stormed down the hall and through the doors of the school.
To anyone else it would have looked like I was leaving school. But I wasn't, I headed down the path to the baseball diamond. I saw her standing on top of the pitcher's mound, kicking at the dirt, rubbing circles over her belly. My pace slowed when I saw her, because even though I knew where to find her, I didn't know what to say.
"I can see why you like it out here," she called to me. I stood behind the backstop wondering where she was
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