Tell Me My Name by Mary Fan

could
tell Darien that he’s my only hope, that I’d be lost without him. I
could even weep, and appear every bit the helpless damsel, in need
of a strong young man like him to save me. From the way he stood up
for me, I don’t think he’d be able to resist coming to the rescue.
And if we’re caught … maybe he’d consider it an honor to endure
whatever his master inflicted upon him, as long as he saw himself
as the hero.
    But if I did that, if I took advantage
of him in such a way, what would that make me?
    My mind recoils at the thought of
intentionally wilting into a tearful fool, of surrendering any
dignity I have left to a cold-hearted scheme. It would be all too
easy, but every instinct tells me that I can’t use another human
being purely for my own gain. If I did, I would truly be the
monster his master fears I am. How could I even consider
it?
    A sharp complaint from my stomach
yanks my head back to my immediate needs. I pull open the edges of
the brown sack Darien gave me and, seeing a bread roll inside, grab
it and immediately take a bite. I didn’t realize how famished I was
until now, and I devour the rest with ravenous speed and wash it
down with the entire canteen of water.
    My hunger satisfied and my thirst
relieved, I place the empty brown sack on the floor and pick up the
cloak again. Wrapping it around myself, I start to stand, then
glimpse a face glaring down at me and yelp in shock. I instantly
recognize the Sorci master, standing outside the cell’s window.
Terrified that he’ll cast his fire-laden spell on me again, I
scramble backward. My heart clenches and hammers at the same time,
and I inhale deeply to try to calm it.
    He raises his hand, and I cower in the
cloak and squeeze my eyes.
    Nothing happens. I blink and
cautiously turn back to the window. He’s still there, holding his
hand by his face. But his snake-like eyes aren’t looking at me –
they appear glazed over, as though he’s in a trance. His lips move,
but no sound comes out.
    Then a warm current of air washes over
me. It would have been comforting if I weren’t certain it came from
the Sorci master’s spell.
    The need for information defeats my
terror, however, and I ask, “What are you doing?”
    He continues moving his lips, but
otherwise remains still. Several moments pass, and I wait. But then
my patience grows short. I deserve to at least know why I’ve been
imprisoned like this.
    I start toward him, intending to tell
him so, but barely make it half a step before his attention turns
back to me. He flicks his wrist in a circular motion, and I feel
myself thrust backward into the wall, the breath knocked from my
lungs. I collapse to the floor, my vision swimming and my body
aching.
    Before I can even look back at him,
pain surges through me. Instead of heat, this time, it’s a million
tiny claws scratching at my insides, and they’re shredding me, like
there are innumerable monsters trapped in my gut trying to tear
their way free. I writhe in agony, and my own shrieks pierce my
ears.
    “ Stop!” I cry, barely able
to manage the word. I want to say that I’ll do whatever he asks, as
long as he lifts this curse, but my ability to speak is lost in my
screams of terror and pain.
    The invisible claws rip at my flesh,
and I’m sure if I were to open my eyes, I’d see my own blood pooled
before me. They slash at every inch of my body, inside and out, as
if they’re trying to tear the flesh from my bones. The sheer agony
blinds and deafens any other perceptions I might have; the pain has
devoured my entire being, leaving nothing but my
screams.
    Then it disappears. Like before, it
vanishes so completely that only the tears streaking my cheeks give
evidence to its existence. And though I see no physical wounds on
my skin, I feel once again as if the life has been drained from me.
My limbs are heavy, my vision swims, and my head wants to sink into
the ground.
    I wipe my eyes and turn to the window,
where the Sorci