Ten Tiny Breaths 0.5 In Her Wake by K.A. Tucker

looking to avoid that mess by settling out of court.
    He waves down the waitress for another drink as he sets his beer down. “How are Sasha’s parents doing? And your girlfriend?”
    “They seem to be moving on. Madison and I are . . . taking a break.” When I saw Madison loading her suitcase in her car, I went out to say goodbye. She crumbled in my arms all over again.
    “Shit. How are you with that? With all of this?” I feel his gaze on me as I swish my beer around in my glass.
    “You know.” No. He doesn’t. No one does, really.
    “Well, I can tell you one thing for sure: it was one hell of a wake-up call for a lot of people around here. The newspapers were all over that story. Hey, what ever happened to that girl? The one who made it out?”
    I shift in my seat, suddenly uncomfortable. “She’s alive, the last I heard, but that’s all I know. She won’t let anyone near her.”
    “Yeah, that must have fucked her up bad. I saw the pictures of the car.” He clears his throat roughly.
    We shift back into idle chatter as a few of Rich’s old friends swing by. Guys I don’t know, who don’t know me, thankfully. They’re football junkies. We talk about the coming NFL season and some dumb trades made by franchises. Nothing important. I mostly sit and listen, not interested in participating but less interested in sitting in my apartment alone. Though I’m beginning to hope that Rich will crash here tonight, seeing as he’s going beer-for-beer with me.
    Funny. I never really noticed that kind of thing before.
    When the girl that Rich has been seeing shows up with her friend, I give them an obligatory smile and shift over in the booth to make room. By their infectious giggles and the way the girl mauls Rich’s face, I’d say they’ve been enjoying a few drinks somewhere else tonight.
    “Hey, I’m Monika.” Sparkly-painted nails catch my eye as she holds out her hand. “Cole.”
    She bats her lashes as she tests my name out on her tongue. “Cole . . . I like that name.”
    That makes one of us.
    “Do you go to school here?”
    “Does he go to school here? Don’t you know this is Cole Reynolds, tight end for the Spartans?” Rich bellows, his girlfriend now perched on his lap.
    Not anymore . “Shut it.” I manage a half-smile as I toss a coaster at him. But I’m also holding my breath, waiting for this girl to recognize my name, to bring the accident up.
    After a few long seconds, when she does nothing but giggle, I release it and let my body melt back into the bench. Maybe this is all I need. A few pints, a night out with a friend, some laughs. Maybe this will be the night that kick-starts my new life without my best friends.
    ■ ■ ■
    What the fuck have I done?
    I was drunk, but I remember every step that led to having this blond lying in my bed, tangled up in my sheets, leaving me buck naked and stretched out next to her. It wasn’t because I thought she was particularly attractive. I just didn’t want to be alone and she was convenient.
    And more than willing.
    I don’t think I was even nice to her. What the hell is her name?
    I stare out the window at the overcast sky, trying to dull the pounding ache between my eyes with thoughts of a red-haired girl. Wondering how she is.
    Wondering if she feels like I do right now, like she’ll never be free of that night. She must feel it. She’s the only one who possibly could.
    Maybe it’s time I found out.

Chapter 7
    As big as Grand Rapids is—almost twice the size of Lansing—I’ve never had any reason to visit the city before. As I face her door, a bunch of flowers gripped within my sweaty, shaking hands, I acknowledge that I still have no valid reason.
    It wasn’t that hard to find Kacey Cleary. It took visits to two hospitals and several inquiries, but finally I got a room number. I’m not sure what that says about our privacy laws, but right now I’m thankful for the nurse who doesn’t seem to respect them.
    With cautious