embarrassed, appalled, thrilled, excited, and uncomfortable. My young body felt things it shouldn’t feel. My chest was tight with emotion.
I stepped back, away from Emmet. That so was not a brotherly kiss.
Emmet took a step back, too. Even though he was the one that initiated this intimate moment, he looked just as shocked and appalled as I did. He pushed a hand through his hair and looked at me with big eyes.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said breathlessly.
“Probably not,” I agreed weakly.
“You’re too young.”
“No, I’m not,” I argued that part. I wasn’t condoning what just happened, but I was not too young for him. There was a little more than two years between us.
“You are,” he said soberly.
“Fine,” I said and turned away from him. I walked the few feet to my board, picked it up and kept on walking.
“Where are you going, Donya?” Emmet asked behind me.
“I guess I’ll go to the playground and play with the little kids because apparently that’s how you look at me, which makes you a bit of a pervert.”
I heard an exasperated snarl behind me and then his hand was on my arm, spinning me around to face him. I opened my mouth to yell at him, but then he was kissing me again. My face was locked in his hands as he kissed me. I kissed him back, but I knew I shouldn’t. It wasn’t about the age. It was just an awkward situation considering my place in his family.
I pulled away this time. I struggled for air as his thumbs stroked over my cheeks. I jerked back away from him, out of his hands. I threw my board down on the pavement and started to skate away from him as fast as my legs could take me. I’m glad he had enough sense not to follow me, because I definitely did not want him to see me cry.
Chapter Five
We didn’t have cell phones back then, at least most people didn’t. There was no way for anyone to call you when there was an emergency, like if your dog got sick, or your roof was leaking, or if your father died. If you weren’t at home or at some known location where there was a phone, hours could be wasted searching for you, and then when you were found, they would say “Where have you been ?”
That’s what Emmy said to me when I got back to her house just as dark was falling. I dropped my skateboard in the foyer and inspected the scrape on my elbow from when I fell. After I skated away from Emmet, I went to my top secret hideout so I could clear my head. I hopped a bus to Philly and spent my day at the art museum. Something about the sculptures, the various paintings and displays was soothing. My favorite spot there was the European art. Sometimes I’d spend a good hour just admiring Portal from the Abbey Church of Saint-Laurent . I was never a religious person, but the beautiful stone work left me mesmerized.
“Doesn’t matter where I’ve been,” I said. I was unwilling to give up my secret place. “I’m here now.”
I looked up and discovered the entire family had gathered into the foyer: Fred, Sam, Emmet, and Emmy. They were all looking at me. My heart just about leapt out of my ribcage.
“Is it my mom?” I asked in a panic.
“No,” Emmy said, taking my hands into hers. “It’s your dad. Donya, he...” she paused and looked at me with deep sadness. “He overdosed. He didn’t make it.”
“Overdosed?” I snickered and shook my head. “On what? On life?” I laughed. “No, that’s impossible since he was barely living one. My dad wasn’t on drugs.”
Sam and Fred exchanged a look, but remained quiet.
“Don’t have a private conversation with your eyes that I’m not privy to,” I snapped, pulling out my adult words like ‘privy’.
“Honey, your dad overdosed on heroin,” Sam said.
“But…” I looked into all of their faces. “My dad didn’t do drugs. I’ve never seen him do drugs.”
“He hid it from you very well,” Sam said sadly.
Of course he hid it from me very well. He was never around. By the time I was
I stepped back, away from Emmet. That so was not a brotherly kiss.
Emmet took a step back, too. Even though he was the one that initiated this intimate moment, he looked just as shocked and appalled as I did. He pushed a hand through his hair and looked at me with big eyes.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said breathlessly.
“Probably not,” I agreed weakly.
“You’re too young.”
“No, I’m not,” I argued that part. I wasn’t condoning what just happened, but I was not too young for him. There was a little more than two years between us.
“You are,” he said soberly.
“Fine,” I said and turned away from him. I walked the few feet to my board, picked it up and kept on walking.
“Where are you going, Donya?” Emmet asked behind me.
“I guess I’ll go to the playground and play with the little kids because apparently that’s how you look at me, which makes you a bit of a pervert.”
I heard an exasperated snarl behind me and then his hand was on my arm, spinning me around to face him. I opened my mouth to yell at him, but then he was kissing me again. My face was locked in his hands as he kissed me. I kissed him back, but I knew I shouldn’t. It wasn’t about the age. It was just an awkward situation considering my place in his family.
I pulled away this time. I struggled for air as his thumbs stroked over my cheeks. I jerked back away from him, out of his hands. I threw my board down on the pavement and started to skate away from him as fast as my legs could take me. I’m glad he had enough sense not to follow me, because I definitely did not want him to see me cry.
Chapter Five
We didn’t have cell phones back then, at least most people didn’t. There was no way for anyone to call you when there was an emergency, like if your dog got sick, or your roof was leaking, or if your father died. If you weren’t at home or at some known location where there was a phone, hours could be wasted searching for you, and then when you were found, they would say “Where have you been ?”
That’s what Emmy said to me when I got back to her house just as dark was falling. I dropped my skateboard in the foyer and inspected the scrape on my elbow from when I fell. After I skated away from Emmet, I went to my top secret hideout so I could clear my head. I hopped a bus to Philly and spent my day at the art museum. Something about the sculptures, the various paintings and displays was soothing. My favorite spot there was the European art. Sometimes I’d spend a good hour just admiring Portal from the Abbey Church of Saint-Laurent . I was never a religious person, but the beautiful stone work left me mesmerized.
“Doesn’t matter where I’ve been,” I said. I was unwilling to give up my secret place. “I’m here now.”
I looked up and discovered the entire family had gathered into the foyer: Fred, Sam, Emmet, and Emmy. They were all looking at me. My heart just about leapt out of my ribcage.
“Is it my mom?” I asked in a panic.
“No,” Emmy said, taking my hands into hers. “It’s your dad. Donya, he...” she paused and looked at me with deep sadness. “He overdosed. He didn’t make it.”
“Overdosed?” I snickered and shook my head. “On what? On life?” I laughed. “No, that’s impossible since he was barely living one. My dad wasn’t on drugs.”
Sam and Fred exchanged a look, but remained quiet.
“Don’t have a private conversation with your eyes that I’m not privy to,” I snapped, pulling out my adult words like ‘privy’.
“Honey, your dad overdosed on heroin,” Sam said.
“But…” I looked into all of their faces. “My dad didn’t do drugs. I’ve never seen him do drugs.”
“He hid it from you very well,” Sam said sadly.
Of course he hid it from me very well. He was never around. By the time I was
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