That One Night (That One Series Book 1) by Josie Wright

awake earlier than usual.
    After feeding him, I dress both of us warmly to protect us against the cold Michigan air. I grab my huge purse that could probably fit half a household in it, and with Archer in my arms, I walk down the stairs, hoping my family is still sleeping. I find Ben in the kitchen also ready to go.
    “Shall we grab breakfast somewhere else?”
    He seems unsure whether or not I will go along with his idea. But I want to get out of the house before everyone wakes up and we might have to explain why we’re suddenly feeling the need to spend time together—just the two of us. We have things to talk about, and I don’t want anyone interrupting that.
    “Yeah, that’s a good idea. If you grab the stroller from the porch and load it in my car, I’ll write a quick note to let them know we’re out.”
    Nodding, he sets off towards the porch, while I grab a pen and paper from the drawer.
    Ben and I have gone into town for breakfast. See you later. I decide to write as little as possible. The more I explain, the more questions will arise.
    I take a deep breath, cuddle Archer, and kiss him on the cheek, whispering into his tiny ear, “Let’s go meet your daddy.” He grabs at my knitted blue and green hat, trying to pull it down.
    “Do you need help?” Ben asks when I meet him by the car and go to strap a very awake, and slightly hyper, Archer into his car seat. He seems to pick up on the nervous energy between Ben and me.
    “No, I’ve got it,” I grumble under my breath. But feeling bad for not making more effort, I add, “But thanks.”
    We are quiet on the drive to the park at the waterfront. It’s like we don’t know where to start; not knowing what will make this less awkward and less of a minefield. Before he left, back when we used to hang out together, it was constant chatter and banter between the two of us and Dave. Now, Ben is tapping his foot, looking out the window and occasionally glancing at me, while I might not have any fingernails left at the end of the ride.
    At the park, we decide to go for a walk first. Archer’s a bit calmer in his stroller now, busy watching the wind in the trees, the waves out on the water, and the birds flying around. He definitely will be an outdoor person when he’s older.
    “Can I?” Ben asks, pointing at the stroller.
    “Sure.” I move aside, letting him grab the handles.
    It’s weird; not that other people haven’t taken Archer on walks without me. Dean and Alex, as well as our other roommate, Viv, have done it plenty of times—so has Mrs. Walsh, our neighbor. But having Ben push the stroller and take over that task feels emotionally loaded. Sharing the responsibility for Archer, even in such a small way, means letting him into our lives, into my life. We walk on for a little while, again without talking, before I decide to break the silence.
    “We wanted to talk so I suppose we should maybe, well, talk?”
    Ben chuckles and I would be lying if I said that this sound doesn’t affect me. But I need to keep my head in the game and my heart and hormones locked away safely. In a fortress. With a water ditch around it. And preferably some barbed wire.
    “Yeah, I guess we should start somewhere, huh?” He sighs, a shy smile appearing on his face. “I just wish it would be easier. Between us, you know.”
    “Well, we don’t always get what we want, do we?” My words are dripping with sarcasm.
    “Frankie…,” he trails off and I want to scream, punch, and kick him at the same time. I want him to talk to me. At the same time, I don’t want to have this conversation and instead pretend he doesn’t exist. Emotions suck.
    “When’s his birthday?”
    “February 20 th . Just before midnight.”
    “What’s he like? I mean, is he a happy baby?”
    A smile tugs at my lips thinking about my sweet little guy. “Yeah, most of the time. He’s amazing. I know most moms would say that, but he really is. He isn’t fussy and usually smiles and laughs a