The Art of Mental Training - a Guide to Performance Excellence (Classic Edition) by D. C. Gonzalez
Authors: D. C. Gonzalez
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The bottom line is, in order to be good in your sport or
whatever it is that you do, you simply can’t be afraid of failing, and here’s
why. Being afraid to fail actually helps create the conditions that make
failure more likely!
Fear of failure causes a lot of
problems. It restricts you. The wrong types of thoughts result in shortness
of breath, tight muscles, and an overload of stress. . . Worse still, fear of
failing can cause a competitor to start playing it safe. Instead of rising up
to meet the challenge, he subconsciously shrinks from it.
On the other hand—and this is
the important point—once a competitor learns to overcome the fear of failing,
his chances of succeeding increase dramatically.
In reality, fear of failure is
nothing more than a perceived psychological threat to your ego and
self-esteem. What typically causes a fear of failing is the state of mind that
takes hold when a competitor is afraid of looking bad, or else is such a
perfectionist that he’s become overly self-critical. In either case, his
internal state ends up holding him back, whether he’s aware of it or not.
Adults are more than capable of
wrecking their own chances with fear of failure. However, with children,
parents and coaches must be extra careful. Often the adults are the ones
creating this build-up of nervous stress in the child athlete’s internal
world. Injecting the wrong emotional input into a child’s occasional failure
can ruin the child’s love of their sport and even destroy their confidence.
With children it’s especially
crucial that we help build self-esteem, not tear it down. Parents need to go
easy on the criticism. Parents shouldn’t act out. It’s that type of adult behavior
that can cause a child's fear of failure.
In order to avoid the internal
state that causes the fear of failure, the mental athlete must first come to
look at failure in an entirely different way from most people. He has to learn
to accept that the only way to accomplish anything great is to risk failing at
it first. He has to accept that without occasional failures he can never hope
to get better. He has to understand that on the path to greatness some
failures are inevitable. And when he does lose, the mental athlete has to make
a conscious decision to learn from that failure. Rather than abandoning
himself to the luxury of misery, he will methodically shut down that
destructive voice of internal self-criticism in favor of looking at failure as
valuable feedback.
Thus, when he experiences
failure he learns what, out of all his training, still isn’t working. He
learns how to fail constructively. The mental athlete won’t allow a fear of
failure to hold him back from greatness. By learning to look at failure
differently, top competitors are able to enter competition without a fear of
failure. When there is no fear of failure one gains an important advantage.
After all, consider this; there
is no one in history, in or outside of sports, who ever rose to greatness
without having once failed. Politicians have lost elections. Generals have
lost battles. Millionaires have failed in prior business ventures. Behind
every Olympic gold medal lie hundreds of second and third place finishes.
Think about it.
Remember: Fear of failure
is caused by not knowing how to fail constructively. The only way to
accomplish anything great is to risk failing at it first. If you have a fear
of failing, it’s more than just a bad thing. It can actually cripple your
chances of success.
The
Art of Mental Training
Chapter 13: Controlling Fear
One day he asked me about fear.
“Inside the eye of a cyclone,
Danielsan, there is peace—while just outside, the cyclone unleashes all its
fury and power. This is how it must be for the Mental Warrior also.”
I told him how I’d once been so
aware of fear that I sensed how it could become overwhelming. During my
aviation training in
whatever it is that you do, you simply can’t be afraid of failing, and here’s
why. Being afraid to fail actually helps create the conditions that make
failure more likely!
Fear of failure causes a lot of
problems. It restricts you. The wrong types of thoughts result in shortness
of breath, tight muscles, and an overload of stress. . . Worse still, fear of
failing can cause a competitor to start playing it safe. Instead of rising up
to meet the challenge, he subconsciously shrinks from it.
On the other hand—and this is
the important point—once a competitor learns to overcome the fear of failing,
his chances of succeeding increase dramatically.
In reality, fear of failure is
nothing more than a perceived psychological threat to your ego and
self-esteem. What typically causes a fear of failing is the state of mind that
takes hold when a competitor is afraid of looking bad, or else is such a
perfectionist that he’s become overly self-critical. In either case, his
internal state ends up holding him back, whether he’s aware of it or not.
Adults are more than capable of
wrecking their own chances with fear of failure. However, with children,
parents and coaches must be extra careful. Often the adults are the ones
creating this build-up of nervous stress in the child athlete’s internal
world. Injecting the wrong emotional input into a child’s occasional failure
can ruin the child’s love of their sport and even destroy their confidence.
With children it’s especially
crucial that we help build self-esteem, not tear it down. Parents need to go
easy on the criticism. Parents shouldn’t act out. It’s that type of adult behavior
that can cause a child's fear of failure.
In order to avoid the internal
state that causes the fear of failure, the mental athlete must first come to
look at failure in an entirely different way from most people. He has to learn
to accept that the only way to accomplish anything great is to risk failing at
it first. He has to accept that without occasional failures he can never hope
to get better. He has to understand that on the path to greatness some
failures are inevitable. And when he does lose, the mental athlete has to make
a conscious decision to learn from that failure. Rather than abandoning
himself to the luxury of misery, he will methodically shut down that
destructive voice of internal self-criticism in favor of looking at failure as
valuable feedback.
Thus, when he experiences
failure he learns what, out of all his training, still isn’t working. He
learns how to fail constructively. The mental athlete won’t allow a fear of
failure to hold him back from greatness. By learning to look at failure
differently, top competitors are able to enter competition without a fear of
failure. When there is no fear of failure one gains an important advantage.
After all, consider this; there
is no one in history, in or outside of sports, who ever rose to greatness
without having once failed. Politicians have lost elections. Generals have
lost battles. Millionaires have failed in prior business ventures. Behind
every Olympic gold medal lie hundreds of second and third place finishes.
Think about it.
Remember: Fear of failure
is caused by not knowing how to fail constructively. The only way to
accomplish anything great is to risk failing at it first. If you have a fear
of failing, it’s more than just a bad thing. It can actually cripple your
chances of success.
The
Art of Mental Training
Chapter 13: Controlling Fear
One day he asked me about fear.
“Inside the eye of a cyclone,
Danielsan, there is peace—while just outside, the cyclone unleashes all its
fury and power. This is how it must be for the Mental Warrior also.”
I told him how I’d once been so
aware of fear that I sensed how it could become overwhelming. During my
aviation training in
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