what I meant. It’s just been a while since I’ve had a man’s arm around me, that’s all.”
Since Shaw didn’t know what to say to that, he settled for, “Yeah.”
Her cheeks flushed, and she splayed her hands on her belly. “You’re probably thinking it would be impossible for a man to get his arms around me, right?” She chuckled, but the humor was just an attempt to diffuse the situation.
Shaw needed it diffused. He could see the outline of her nipples, and he felt that tug below the belt. It was a basic male reaction, he assured himself, and he told that tug to get lost.
Sabrina sat back down on the bed and shook her head. “Yeah, I know. I look disgusting.”
“No. You don’t.” Shaw decided to leave it at that.
She seemed relieved, or something. Her face relaxed anyway. “I have stretch marks. Three of them. Four,” she added after a shrug. “Sometimes, I don’t think my body will ever go back to normal.”
“It will.” Shaw wanted to hit himself. He didn’t know much about this pregnancy stuff and should just shut up.
So that he’d do just that, he looked back at the laptophe had sitting next to his chair. It’d been delivered along with Sabrina’s gown and toiletries, and Shaw had been using it to get updates throughout the night. It was nearly 6:00 a.m. so a new update should be arriving shortly.
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m so happy to be pregnant,” she continued. “I mean, this baby is a miracle as far as I’m concerned. And trust me, I’m a big believer in miracles.”
She groaned again, and that drew Shaw’s attention right back to her. Sabrina was looking down at her belly.
“My miracle is awake,” she mumbled. “And playing soccer with my kidneys.”
Shaw looked at her belly, too, and saw the movement. He shifted to the edge of his chair for a better look. “I can actually see the kicks.”
“Oh, yes. You can see them.” She laughed. It was rich and thick as if she was sharing his amazement, though she no doubt experienced this many times a day.
Sabrina reached out, latched on to his hand and pressed it against her stomach.
Shaw almost pulled back. It was an automatic response when it came to Sabrina. But the baby moves stopped him. That was his baby inside her. A miracle, indeed. And he or she was kicking like crazy.
Amazed, Shaw looked up at Sabrina. Their gazes connected. She was smiling, and Shaw realized he was, too.
Her smile hit him harder than a heavy weight could have.
He drew back his hand. He drew himself back as well and moved deeper into the chair so there’d be somedistance between them. This was such an incredible moment, and it was a moment he should have been sharing with his late wife.
Not Sabrina.
“Right,” Sabrina mumbled. Her smile vanished, and she didn’t roll her eyes, but it was close. “This is about Fay.”
“Don’t,” he warned, certain there wasn’t a trace of his smile left, either.
“Don’t,” she repeated. She got up, started for the bathroom, but then stopped. She kept her back to him. “I miss Fay, too. I miss her every minute of every day. And every one of those minutes I hate myself for not cramming those antidepressants in her mouth. Or for not being there when she overdosed and took her life. I don’t need you to punish me, Shaw, because I swear to you, I’ve done a pretty good job of punishing myself.”
She didn’t give him a chance to respond. She went into the bathroom and shut the door.
Hell.
Shaw felt lower than dirt. Yes, he was still angry with Sabrina. Always would be. And he would always put some of the blame for Fay’s death on her shoulders. But after what Sabrina had been through in the past fifteen hours, she didn’t need him adding to her stress.
He went to the bathroom door and knocked. “I’m sorry.”
The words seemed foreign to him, and he realized why. It was the first time he’d ever said those two words to Sabrina. It had been so easy to hang on to his anger and hurt
Since Shaw didn’t know what to say to that, he settled for, “Yeah.”
Her cheeks flushed, and she splayed her hands on her belly. “You’re probably thinking it would be impossible for a man to get his arms around me, right?” She chuckled, but the humor was just an attempt to diffuse the situation.
Shaw needed it diffused. He could see the outline of her nipples, and he felt that tug below the belt. It was a basic male reaction, he assured himself, and he told that tug to get lost.
Sabrina sat back down on the bed and shook her head. “Yeah, I know. I look disgusting.”
“No. You don’t.” Shaw decided to leave it at that.
She seemed relieved, or something. Her face relaxed anyway. “I have stretch marks. Three of them. Four,” she added after a shrug. “Sometimes, I don’t think my body will ever go back to normal.”
“It will.” Shaw wanted to hit himself. He didn’t know much about this pregnancy stuff and should just shut up.
So that he’d do just that, he looked back at the laptophe had sitting next to his chair. It’d been delivered along with Sabrina’s gown and toiletries, and Shaw had been using it to get updates throughout the night. It was nearly 6:00 a.m. so a new update should be arriving shortly.
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m so happy to be pregnant,” she continued. “I mean, this baby is a miracle as far as I’m concerned. And trust me, I’m a big believer in miracles.”
She groaned again, and that drew Shaw’s attention right back to her. Sabrina was looking down at her belly.
“My miracle is awake,” she mumbled. “And playing soccer with my kidneys.”
Shaw looked at her belly, too, and saw the movement. He shifted to the edge of his chair for a better look. “I can actually see the kicks.”
“Oh, yes. You can see them.” She laughed. It was rich and thick as if she was sharing his amazement, though she no doubt experienced this many times a day.
Sabrina reached out, latched on to his hand and pressed it against her stomach.
Shaw almost pulled back. It was an automatic response when it came to Sabrina. But the baby moves stopped him. That was his baby inside her. A miracle, indeed. And he or she was kicking like crazy.
Amazed, Shaw looked up at Sabrina. Their gazes connected. She was smiling, and Shaw realized he was, too.
Her smile hit him harder than a heavy weight could have.
He drew back his hand. He drew himself back as well and moved deeper into the chair so there’d be somedistance between them. This was such an incredible moment, and it was a moment he should have been sharing with his late wife.
Not Sabrina.
“Right,” Sabrina mumbled. Her smile vanished, and she didn’t roll her eyes, but it was close. “This is about Fay.”
“Don’t,” he warned, certain there wasn’t a trace of his smile left, either.
“Don’t,” she repeated. She got up, started for the bathroom, but then stopped. She kept her back to him. “I miss Fay, too. I miss her every minute of every day. And every one of those minutes I hate myself for not cramming those antidepressants in her mouth. Or for not being there when she overdosed and took her life. I don’t need you to punish me, Shaw, because I swear to you, I’ve done a pretty good job of punishing myself.”
She didn’t give him a chance to respond. She went into the bathroom and shut the door.
Hell.
Shaw felt lower than dirt. Yes, he was still angry with Sabrina. Always would be. And he would always put some of the blame for Fay’s death on her shoulders. But after what Sabrina had been through in the past fifteen hours, she didn’t need him adding to her stress.
He went to the bathroom door and knocked. “I’m sorry.”
The words seemed foreign to him, and he realized why. It was the first time he’d ever said those two words to Sabrina. It had been so easy to hang on to his anger and hurt
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