praise, my suggestions in tactics sessions were always congratulated. I was hungry for the validation, especially after Clementine had taken such strange pleasure in my friendship with GG. I eagerly accepted Fisher’s request. And very loudly.
‘Of course!’ I cried, carving that jealous scowl just a little deeper into Ruby Heigl’s face.
We’d finished that evening’s meeting with a tug of war as a reward for doing well in our concert march rehearsal. I was to stay back and help put away the ropes.
Once alone, we wound fat loops around our wrists and elbows, fastening tight the bundles with their own tails. We worked in silence. A heavy, AWKWARD
s
ilence. My eyes kept wandering to the hairs on Fisher’s arms. I hadn’t noticed them before, how blonde they were – lighter than the sandy hair on his head. I was staring, I suddenly realised, and became convinced that my mouth was about to blurt out something inappropriate – a grenade of a wholly different kind. Perhaps I would do something crazy, like reach over and stroke that soft hairy arm or … ENOUGH, I told myself.
‘What will we be doing in Thursday’s session?’ We were outside of our normal meeting hours so I hoped he wouldn’t mind that I had broken the rule of speaking only after I was spoken to. He’d taken off his woggle and necktie, after all; he’d made a big show of it.
Fisher looked up and smiled, those scary blue eyes latching onto mine. I felt myself flush red.
‘Want to get a head-start on the others, eh, Jess?’
He knew me well. If I ever got a whiff of what we’d be doing in the knowledge section of a forthcoming session I’d go to Dad’s bookcase and look it up. I would make guesses as to what Fisher’s questions would be and memorise the possible answers.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I suppose I do.’
‘Excellent,’ he replied. He gestured for me to pick up my pile of tied ropes and follow him behind the curtained storage section at the back of the hall. My eyes took a moment to adjust to the dark.
Either Fisher was making me wait for a response to my question about Thursday’s session, or the answer would be somewhere here, hidden in the shadows. I heard him drop his armload of ropes into the plastic barrel, felt him turn around. I could see well enough now to make out the wet flicker of his eyes, the line of his jaw and the open collar at his neck.
‘Let me help you,’ he said.
I moved forward to tip my pile of ropes into his open arms but as we made this exchange – DISASTER. The knuckles of one of his hands bumped into one of my breasts.
I shot backwards.
‘I’m so, so sorry,’ I said. What if he thought I’d made that happen on purpose? What if the mad, grenade-filled part of my brain
had
made that happen on purpose?
‘Sorry for what?’ Fisher asked. He was smiling; his teeth flashed in the dark. He wasn’t appalled. Not appalled at all. Thank god.
‘Nothing,’ I said. ‘It’s nothing.’
Someone of Fisher’s standing had much better things to be doing than going around noticing girls’ breasts, I told myself, even if he did just poke his fingers right into mine.
I turned to go, but he stopped me.
‘What do you know about sexual intercourse, Fräulein Keller?’ he said.
I was a little shocked, yes. The question had come from nowhere. Mostly, though, I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to give the right answer.
Then it came to me. Of course! This was going to be the subject of the knowledge section of Thursday’s meeting. Sexual intercourse! And it was going to be horribly embarrassing for him, to have to teach us boys and girls together. He was looking for reassurance. That was what my staying behind was all about, and the loosening of his tie. He needed my respected opinion.
‘Well, my mother has shown me the book,’ I said.
I meant
Mädel von Heute, Mütter von Morgen – Girls of Today, Mothers of Tomorrow
. On the cover there is a picture of a good deutsches Mädchen about my
‘Of course!’ I cried, carving that jealous scowl just a little deeper into Ruby Heigl’s face.
We’d finished that evening’s meeting with a tug of war as a reward for doing well in our concert march rehearsal. I was to stay back and help put away the ropes.
Once alone, we wound fat loops around our wrists and elbows, fastening tight the bundles with their own tails. We worked in silence. A heavy, AWKWARD
s
ilence. My eyes kept wandering to the hairs on Fisher’s arms. I hadn’t noticed them before, how blonde they were – lighter than the sandy hair on his head. I was staring, I suddenly realised, and became convinced that my mouth was about to blurt out something inappropriate – a grenade of a wholly different kind. Perhaps I would do something crazy, like reach over and stroke that soft hairy arm or … ENOUGH, I told myself.
‘What will we be doing in Thursday’s session?’ We were outside of our normal meeting hours so I hoped he wouldn’t mind that I had broken the rule of speaking only after I was spoken to. He’d taken off his woggle and necktie, after all; he’d made a big show of it.
Fisher looked up and smiled, those scary blue eyes latching onto mine. I felt myself flush red.
‘Want to get a head-start on the others, eh, Jess?’
He knew me well. If I ever got a whiff of what we’d be doing in the knowledge section of a forthcoming session I’d go to Dad’s bookcase and look it up. I would make guesses as to what Fisher’s questions would be and memorise the possible answers.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I suppose I do.’
‘Excellent,’ he replied. He gestured for me to pick up my pile of tied ropes and follow him behind the curtained storage section at the back of the hall. My eyes took a moment to adjust to the dark.
Either Fisher was making me wait for a response to my question about Thursday’s session, or the answer would be somewhere here, hidden in the shadows. I heard him drop his armload of ropes into the plastic barrel, felt him turn around. I could see well enough now to make out the wet flicker of his eyes, the line of his jaw and the open collar at his neck.
‘Let me help you,’ he said.
I moved forward to tip my pile of ropes into his open arms but as we made this exchange – DISASTER. The knuckles of one of his hands bumped into one of my breasts.
I shot backwards.
‘I’m so, so sorry,’ I said. What if he thought I’d made that happen on purpose? What if the mad, grenade-filled part of my brain
had
made that happen on purpose?
‘Sorry for what?’ Fisher asked. He was smiling; his teeth flashed in the dark. He wasn’t appalled. Not appalled at all. Thank god.
‘Nothing,’ I said. ‘It’s nothing.’
Someone of Fisher’s standing had much better things to be doing than going around noticing girls’ breasts, I told myself, even if he did just poke his fingers right into mine.
I turned to go, but he stopped me.
‘What do you know about sexual intercourse, Fräulein Keller?’ he said.
I was a little shocked, yes. The question had come from nowhere. Mostly, though, I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to give the right answer.
Then it came to me. Of course! This was going to be the subject of the knowledge section of Thursday’s meeting. Sexual intercourse! And it was going to be horribly embarrassing for him, to have to teach us boys and girls together. He was looking for reassurance. That was what my staying behind was all about, and the loosening of his tie. He needed my respected opinion.
‘Well, my mother has shown me the book,’ I said.
I meant
Mädel von Heute, Mütter von Morgen – Girls of Today, Mothers of Tomorrow
. On the cover there is a picture of a good deutsches Mädchen about my
Similar Books
