force of the kisses, the bruises on her mouth. How, for the first time in her life, she had felt sick with desire.
After, I remembered I hadn't locked the connecting door to V.'s flat! She could've come in from the garage, she could've come down!! BLOODY HELL!!! While I was fumbling with it, he said,'We must go somewhere,very fast.Where can we go to?'
There was some light from the street but my legs were like water & I was shaking so much I couldn't get the key in the lock. He came up behind me & put his hands over mine.'You live in an apartment? A house?'
'Yes, in Eltham, but it's miles away and...' I didn't know how to tell him.'What about your place?'
'You would hate my place.You have a boyfriend, yes? Is that it?'
'Yes. He's away tonight. But...' Even then, I couldn't say it. He could see, though. Some of it. Not all. Not the worst. He said,'A hotel then.What is the best one in Melbourne? The Hotel Windsor?' I said yes, but it would be horribly expensive, more maybe than one of his paintings.'So,no problem,I will just paint another one!' I tried to insist on paying half, but he wouldn't hear of it.'I am rich.Don't forget.'
I told him he'd have to have a shave or they wouldn't let him past the portals.
'So, you are bossing me about now.'
'I thought that since we've just made love I might take the liberty.'
'Is that what you thought?' He cupped my face in his hands, very gently,& closed my eyelids.'That was not love.When we make love you will not just think, you will know.' I felt a jolt in the pit of my stomach.
We went in my car to his place to get something to look like luggage, & money – he said he had some that Verity had advanced stashed behind the loo(!). He obviously hasn't got a bank account yet.We got drenched racing to the car. I let him drive, I felt faint all the way. I think I was in shock.
He drove like a maniac, but well.The rain was bucketing down in torrents, flooding the windscreen.
She saw the two of them again, clear in every detail, pressed hard against each other on the front bench seat of her Holden station wagon. Hurtling along in a metal capsule insulated from the outside world. And oblivious to that world too, self-consciously sharing a Gauloise, like the leading actors in a noir film. Outside, the rain was sheeting down, surging in glistening rivers on the road, and inside the car suffocating clouds of cigarette smoke swirled against the glass and almost obliterated the windscreen.
Rubbing portholes in the steam that immediately fogged over again, clutching on to his arm and chest as if she were drowning.The backs of his hands, knotted and dense with coarse hairs, paint embedded in the fingernails. One hand abandoning the gearstick recklessly and enclosing both of hers, gripping them with a kind of desperation. The sensation of giddiness, of being drugged on air that fairly reeked of carnality. Both of them too tense to say a word.
We got to the grungy St Kilda corner I recognised from the picture. He was in and out in less than 5 minutes, but when he came back he'd actually scraped some stubble off his face & tucked his shirt in, but he still wore the holey old jumper & was carrying a dirty holdall thing that he obviously uses for paintbrushes, & he still looked like a scarecrow, not remotely like your average Windsor patron.
We got in somehow. I think the man took pity on us, or else he was terrified – we may possibly have looked deranged.We kissed again in the lift & missed our floor, finally got there & shot down the corridor, pelted into the room & he dived at the bed & pulled me down on top of him.
Another line of dots followed. At the end of the line was a scrawled star. Greer's eyes scrolled down to the bottom of the page. She already knew what she would find there: a corresponding star, and the single word: Paradise .The letters were small and emphatically printed.
He was right, Greer thought. I did know. It was a revelation.
She couldn't recall anything about the
After, I remembered I hadn't locked the connecting door to V.'s flat! She could've come in from the garage, she could've come down!! BLOODY HELL!!! While I was fumbling with it, he said,'We must go somewhere,very fast.Where can we go to?'
There was some light from the street but my legs were like water & I was shaking so much I couldn't get the key in the lock. He came up behind me & put his hands over mine.'You live in an apartment? A house?'
'Yes, in Eltham, but it's miles away and...' I didn't know how to tell him.'What about your place?'
'You would hate my place.You have a boyfriend, yes? Is that it?'
'Yes. He's away tonight. But...' Even then, I couldn't say it. He could see, though. Some of it. Not all. Not the worst. He said,'A hotel then.What is the best one in Melbourne? The Hotel Windsor?' I said yes, but it would be horribly expensive, more maybe than one of his paintings.'So,no problem,I will just paint another one!' I tried to insist on paying half, but he wouldn't hear of it.'I am rich.Don't forget.'
I told him he'd have to have a shave or they wouldn't let him past the portals.
'So, you are bossing me about now.'
'I thought that since we've just made love I might take the liberty.'
'Is that what you thought?' He cupped my face in his hands, very gently,& closed my eyelids.'That was not love.When we make love you will not just think, you will know.' I felt a jolt in the pit of my stomach.
We went in my car to his place to get something to look like luggage, & money – he said he had some that Verity had advanced stashed behind the loo(!). He obviously hasn't got a bank account yet.We got drenched racing to the car. I let him drive, I felt faint all the way. I think I was in shock.
He drove like a maniac, but well.The rain was bucketing down in torrents, flooding the windscreen.
She saw the two of them again, clear in every detail, pressed hard against each other on the front bench seat of her Holden station wagon. Hurtling along in a metal capsule insulated from the outside world. And oblivious to that world too, self-consciously sharing a Gauloise, like the leading actors in a noir film. Outside, the rain was sheeting down, surging in glistening rivers on the road, and inside the car suffocating clouds of cigarette smoke swirled against the glass and almost obliterated the windscreen.
Rubbing portholes in the steam that immediately fogged over again, clutching on to his arm and chest as if she were drowning.The backs of his hands, knotted and dense with coarse hairs, paint embedded in the fingernails. One hand abandoning the gearstick recklessly and enclosing both of hers, gripping them with a kind of desperation. The sensation of giddiness, of being drugged on air that fairly reeked of carnality. Both of them too tense to say a word.
We got to the grungy St Kilda corner I recognised from the picture. He was in and out in less than 5 minutes, but when he came back he'd actually scraped some stubble off his face & tucked his shirt in, but he still wore the holey old jumper & was carrying a dirty holdall thing that he obviously uses for paintbrushes, & he still looked like a scarecrow, not remotely like your average Windsor patron.
We got in somehow. I think the man took pity on us, or else he was terrified – we may possibly have looked deranged.We kissed again in the lift & missed our floor, finally got there & shot down the corridor, pelted into the room & he dived at the bed & pulled me down on top of him.
Another line of dots followed. At the end of the line was a scrawled star. Greer's eyes scrolled down to the bottom of the page. She already knew what she would find there: a corresponding star, and the single word: Paradise .The letters were small and emphatically printed.
He was right, Greer thought. I did know. It was a revelation.
She couldn't recall anything about the
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