too, you know.”
I started to think of how I was when I
went home to my small Astoria apartment. I thought of Dani. I
missed being held by him every night at school.
“ But I mean, you knew he was
married. You knew what you were getting into, right?”
When Kim had first begun seeing M.D.,
she had emailed me telling me she had just stayed over at the SoHo
Grand, a trendy boutique hotel, for several nights.
“ How was I supposed to know
he was married? He wasn’t wearing a ring. Come to think of it, what
married guy on Wall Street do you know who wears a ring?” she
asked.
I thought about her question. Andrew
didn’t wear a ring either, I realized, nor did Stephen.
Kim placed her coffee down and stared
blankly. Clearly, she had a lot to think about.
“ It just seems wrong. He is
married and has a wife and kids to feed at home,” I
said.
I thought about my own parents. I had
unraveled a secret upon my father’s death. He had an illegitimate
child in Malaysia while married to my mother. I had never met my
half-sister nor did I want to. She was a ghost I wanted to forget.
My parents had always been loving toward one another, at least
around me. Growing up, I thought their relationship seemed strong
and unbreakable. It was the kind of relationship I wanted for
myself.
“ What is this the
Inquisition? Come on, baby. I’m a big girl. Everything’s
consensual. Just because you’re upset doesn’t give you the right to
project your pain onto me.”
“ I’m sorry. I didn’t mean
for…” I paused and held my thoughts back. I began nervously folding
my napkin in origami squares. “It just doesn’t seem…”
She raised an eyebrow as she waited
for me to finish my thoughts. I bowed my head and, as I stared at
the ground. I noticed Kim’s new Gucci purse.
Kim knew she made me feel
uncomfortable.
“ Isabelle, you have to
understand that one person cannot fulfill everyone’s needs. M.D.
and I fulfill each other’s sexual desires. He’s got kids, so he’s
probably not having that much sex.” She paused. “I mean, can you
just imagine being with the same person day in and day out? I have
to be the vixen!”
I waited for her to finish her
thoughts.
“ Everyone’s too serious in
life. Why the hell would I want to be like everyone else?” she
said.
Kim’s cell phone rang. It was
obviously M.D.
“ Hey, pumpkin, miss me yet?”
she asked him. I looked around the cafe, trying not to eavesdrop.
It was hard to ignore Kim lovingly giggle as she talked. It was
somewhat nauseating, yet I was jealous.
“ You are so cute. Okay,
Shmoopies. I am with Isabelle. Call you later. I’m seeing you
tonight, right?”
Kim placed the phone down. Her mood
had changed. “Alright, let’s not talk about this anymore. Tonight
we’ll do dinner. Bring that girlfriend of yours that you talk
about. What’s her name?” She paused. “Carin, right?” Kim
simultaneously snapped her finger in the air. “You’re too good for
Dani anyway. Cheer up!” She reached over and gave me a reassuring
hug.
I nearly cried into her neck, which
smelled of sweet, expensive floral perfume. I let out a deep sigh.
“It’s okay.” She rubbed my back. “I’m okay. Everything is
okay.”
She said, “Listen, baby. I am happy.
What more can I want? He opens doors for me, makes me feel like I’m
a woman, and generally, we have fun together. So stop worrying
about me, love. I know what I am doing.”
M.D. did all the things for Kim a
woman wanted from a man.
She told me that the compliments he
paid her were unlike anything she’d ever heard before. He had sweet
nicknames for her, like Lil’ Kim, Banana, and Monkey.
“ Why don’t we get out of
here and go to my place to get ready?” Kim offered. “You’re coming
right?”
“ Yeah, but I told
Carin—”
“ Just come over and meet
Carin before dinner or something.”
We left in the cab to go back to Kim’s
place, stopping over at a wine store first. They seemed to know
I started to think of how I was when I
went home to my small Astoria apartment. I thought of Dani. I
missed being held by him every night at school.
“ But I mean, you knew he was
married. You knew what you were getting into, right?”
When Kim had first begun seeing M.D.,
she had emailed me telling me she had just stayed over at the SoHo
Grand, a trendy boutique hotel, for several nights.
“ How was I supposed to know
he was married? He wasn’t wearing a ring. Come to think of it, what
married guy on Wall Street do you know who wears a ring?” she
asked.
I thought about her question. Andrew
didn’t wear a ring either, I realized, nor did Stephen.
Kim placed her coffee down and stared
blankly. Clearly, she had a lot to think about.
“ It just seems wrong. He is
married and has a wife and kids to feed at home,” I
said.
I thought about my own parents. I had
unraveled a secret upon my father’s death. He had an illegitimate
child in Malaysia while married to my mother. I had never met my
half-sister nor did I want to. She was a ghost I wanted to forget.
My parents had always been loving toward one another, at least
around me. Growing up, I thought their relationship seemed strong
and unbreakable. It was the kind of relationship I wanted for
myself.
“ What is this the
Inquisition? Come on, baby. I’m a big girl. Everything’s
consensual. Just because you’re upset doesn’t give you the right to
project your pain onto me.”
“ I’m sorry. I didn’t mean
for…” I paused and held my thoughts back. I began nervously folding
my napkin in origami squares. “It just doesn’t seem…”
She raised an eyebrow as she waited
for me to finish my thoughts. I bowed my head and, as I stared at
the ground. I noticed Kim’s new Gucci purse.
Kim knew she made me feel
uncomfortable.
“ Isabelle, you have to
understand that one person cannot fulfill everyone’s needs. M.D.
and I fulfill each other’s sexual desires. He’s got kids, so he’s
probably not having that much sex.” She paused. “I mean, can you
just imagine being with the same person day in and day out? I have
to be the vixen!”
I waited for her to finish her
thoughts.
“ Everyone’s too serious in
life. Why the hell would I want to be like everyone else?” she
said.
Kim’s cell phone rang. It was
obviously M.D.
“ Hey, pumpkin, miss me yet?”
she asked him. I looked around the cafe, trying not to eavesdrop.
It was hard to ignore Kim lovingly giggle as she talked. It was
somewhat nauseating, yet I was jealous.
“ You are so cute. Okay,
Shmoopies. I am with Isabelle. Call you later. I’m seeing you
tonight, right?”
Kim placed the phone down. Her mood
had changed. “Alright, let’s not talk about this anymore. Tonight
we’ll do dinner. Bring that girlfriend of yours that you talk
about. What’s her name?” She paused. “Carin, right?” Kim
simultaneously snapped her finger in the air. “You’re too good for
Dani anyway. Cheer up!” She reached over and gave me a reassuring
hug.
I nearly cried into her neck, which
smelled of sweet, expensive floral perfume. I let out a deep sigh.
“It’s okay.” She rubbed my back. “I’m okay. Everything is
okay.”
She said, “Listen, baby. I am happy.
What more can I want? He opens doors for me, makes me feel like I’m
a woman, and generally, we have fun together. So stop worrying
about me, love. I know what I am doing.”
M.D. did all the things for Kim a
woman wanted from a man.
She told me that the compliments he
paid her were unlike anything she’d ever heard before. He had sweet
nicknames for her, like Lil’ Kim, Banana, and Monkey.
“ Why don’t we get out of
here and go to my place to get ready?” Kim offered. “You’re coming
right?”
“ Yeah, but I told
Carin—”
“ Just come over and meet
Carin before dinner or something.”
We left in the cab to go back to Kim’s
place, stopping over at a wine store first. They seemed to know
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