had known what else had been brought to life in this ignition of Sean’s will, he would have lost all doubts.
* * *
Sean wondered vaguely how Dart could keep betting when all he did was lose and also how he paid off all his losses because he’d been losing all day. No one had as yet passed out. Sean couldn’t remember if the brown-haired elf had ever won. Walking behind the two cousins, he saw how Dart managed it. As he handed Rush three silver coins, the blond elf quietly and delicately put more into the money pouch at his cousin’s side. The youth smiled half-cheerfully and returned to watching his surroundings, not knowing why he felt compelled to act as rear guard. Surely, Dart’s sharp grey eyes and ears would find trouble long before he could. Besides, they were still hours from the portal between the worlds, so there really shouldn’t be any danger.
Sean took a deep, calming breath. Letting it out slowly, he kept his eyes on the ground as he spoke to Thorne. “It’s just that…I feel I shouldn’t be here. And I also feel that I should. I still can’t understand why you chose me and not someone else. I’m sure there are people a lot more…qualified. I keep wondering why you came here, to this world, to get an extra companion and aren’t using someone from your own. I even know some people in this world who could help you much better than I can. I mean, look at me. I’m small for my age. I’m not very strong. I’m not as clever as I like to think I am. I don’t think you made the right choice.”
Sean let out an exasperated sigh. “Sure, I want to go. I want to go so badly I’d kill for the chance, but I’m not sure I was meant to go. I’ve never been without the things of this world. I know you told me that because of my love for fantasy I can better adjust to your world, but I’m not so sure you’re right. I don’t know how I’ll react to not having a bathroom, or a hot meal, or a nice bed to sleep in. I don’t know if I can handle walking everywhere we go. I just don’t know if I can do it.”
Thorne was quiet several minutes before he responded to Sean’s distress. “I think I know how you feel, and all I c’n tell you is I felt ’bout the same when we began this journey. I’ve traveled many different lands. When Merdel first came t’me, I, too, doubted I could do what he asked o’ me. He said we’d be goin’ places I’d ne’er been, and the stories I’ve heard about these places’d frighten the strongest knight.
“But I knew I was needed, so I came. I conquered m’ fears and doubts, and you should do the same. There’s no shame in admittin’ fear, only in succumbin’ to it.” The dwarf looked hard at the side of Sean’s head, since the youth wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Believe me, Sean, anyone can lose his self-confidence. At first, I did no want to journey to this world, it bein’ so different from my own. But I knew ’twas needed to prove the truth t’you, so I came. Remember, lad, we’re here to help and guide you, and knowin’ that at least one of us felt as you feel should boost your confidence some, eh?” The dwarf finished with a smile and resumed watching the road ahead.
Sean walked with his head down as he thought over what the dwarf had told him. He believed Thorne to be sincere, for he’d always seemed very honest when they’d talked before. He did find it hard to believe that the dwarf who acted so self-confident could have been troubled by self-doubt. But he figured that, as Thorne had said, it must strike everyone at one time or another, so it was only natural. Besides, Thorne had conquered his fear, and Sean knew he must do the same if he wanted to survive this adventure.
The dwarf chuckled. “Don’t ponder o’er my words too long, Sean, or you’ll find I’m full of horse dung.”
Ribald laughter answered this wry comment, revealing that the others had been listening to Thorne’s effort at instructing Sean, and the good humor
* * *
Sean wondered vaguely how Dart could keep betting when all he did was lose and also how he paid off all his losses because he’d been losing all day. No one had as yet passed out. Sean couldn’t remember if the brown-haired elf had ever won. Walking behind the two cousins, he saw how Dart managed it. As he handed Rush three silver coins, the blond elf quietly and delicately put more into the money pouch at his cousin’s side. The youth smiled half-cheerfully and returned to watching his surroundings, not knowing why he felt compelled to act as rear guard. Surely, Dart’s sharp grey eyes and ears would find trouble long before he could. Besides, they were still hours from the portal between the worlds, so there really shouldn’t be any danger.
Sean took a deep, calming breath. Letting it out slowly, he kept his eyes on the ground as he spoke to Thorne. “It’s just that…I feel I shouldn’t be here. And I also feel that I should. I still can’t understand why you chose me and not someone else. I’m sure there are people a lot more…qualified. I keep wondering why you came here, to this world, to get an extra companion and aren’t using someone from your own. I even know some people in this world who could help you much better than I can. I mean, look at me. I’m small for my age. I’m not very strong. I’m not as clever as I like to think I am. I don’t think you made the right choice.”
Sean let out an exasperated sigh. “Sure, I want to go. I want to go so badly I’d kill for the chance, but I’m not sure I was meant to go. I’ve never been without the things of this world. I know you told me that because of my love for fantasy I can better adjust to your world, but I’m not so sure you’re right. I don’t know how I’ll react to not having a bathroom, or a hot meal, or a nice bed to sleep in. I don’t know if I can handle walking everywhere we go. I just don’t know if I can do it.”
Thorne was quiet several minutes before he responded to Sean’s distress. “I think I know how you feel, and all I c’n tell you is I felt ’bout the same when we began this journey. I’ve traveled many different lands. When Merdel first came t’me, I, too, doubted I could do what he asked o’ me. He said we’d be goin’ places I’d ne’er been, and the stories I’ve heard about these places’d frighten the strongest knight.
“But I knew I was needed, so I came. I conquered m’ fears and doubts, and you should do the same. There’s no shame in admittin’ fear, only in succumbin’ to it.” The dwarf looked hard at the side of Sean’s head, since the youth wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Believe me, Sean, anyone can lose his self-confidence. At first, I did no want to journey to this world, it bein’ so different from my own. But I knew ’twas needed to prove the truth t’you, so I came. Remember, lad, we’re here to help and guide you, and knowin’ that at least one of us felt as you feel should boost your confidence some, eh?” The dwarf finished with a smile and resumed watching the road ahead.
Sean walked with his head down as he thought over what the dwarf had told him. He believed Thorne to be sincere, for he’d always seemed very honest when they’d talked before. He did find it hard to believe that the dwarf who acted so self-confident could have been troubled by self-doubt. But he figured that, as Thorne had said, it must strike everyone at one time or another, so it was only natural. Besides, Thorne had conquered his fear, and Sean knew he must do the same if he wanted to survive this adventure.
The dwarf chuckled. “Don’t ponder o’er my words too long, Sean, or you’ll find I’m full of horse dung.”
Ribald laughter answered this wry comment, revealing that the others had been listening to Thorne’s effort at instructing Sean, and the good humor
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