The Book of Jane by Anne Dayton

wallpaper or for wondering why there’s a crocheted doll on your toilet paper. I know you love her. I’ll just listen and laugh with you.”
    â€œThanks, Jane,” he says.
    I smile, thankful to have thought of some way to help my friend. Charlie whimpers at our feet and then jumps up and begins to kiss Lee’s face again and again while Lee laughs.
    â€œAnd I can rent this mutt out for a small monthly fee too if you need him.”
    Â 
    I like to get into the office at least an hour early. It’s my time to read the paper online, consult my day planner to see what the day has in store, and get some coffee into my veins. It’s a great way to start the day and I look forward to the serenity of the quiet office. My assistant, Natalie, will be in about a half hour from now, and I want to get my tasks organized.
    I take a sip of my coffee and begin to scan the
Times
online. I gasp, sputter, and spit out the coffee onto my desk. It’s not that it’s piping hot. It’s the headline I just read: BAD BOY PHILANTHROPIST ? The picture underneath it is of a handsome man smirking arrogantly—it’s that guy I met the other night, Hamilton’s nephew, Coates. I wipe up the coffee with a napkin from my desk, then read the article.
    It reports that Coates Glassman is making waves in the New York socialite scene, but not just because he’s handsome or a do-gooder. Sure, he gives away untold millions of the Glassman Foundation’s money, but he also can’t keep a personal assistant, and now two of his former assistants have banded together in a lawsuit against him, stating that he dismissed them unfairly without pay and asked them to work seventy-hour weeks with no overtime. The article also notes that Coates has angered many of his family members by converting to Christianity but that his behavior seems no better since this development. It seems the
Times
had no trouble finding people to give anonymous quotes about this self-absorbed behavior.
    I roll my eyes. This is the problem with being a Christian. For every ten good deeds done in silence by humble, devoted followers, there is one yahoo who is publicly acting like an idiot and giving a bad name to all of us. I click on an article about time management strategies, hoping to calm down for a few moments before I begin work for the day, when my personal cell phone rings.
    The screen flashes “Unknown” and I hesitate. I decide to answer. It’s probably just a wrong number.
    â€œHello?”
    â€œHello. Jane Williams?”
    â€œYes?” I say.
    â€œJane, this is Matt Sherwin….”
    A pause hangs in the air. I process what these two words mean. Matt. Sherwin. Okay, Jane. Don’t panic.
    â€œI’m from, uh, the charity?”
    I recover. “Hello, Mr. Sherwin. Good to hear from you. Sorry about that.” Why is he calling me on this phone?
    â€œPlease call me Matt.”
    We are both silent for a moment. What should I say?
    â€œI’m so glad you called. Is there something I can help you with?” We publicists have to be good on our feet. That’s why they pay us.
    â€œHuh? Oh yeah. I just wanted to say, like, how important Aid World is to me, and I hoped that we could schedule a time to meet together.”
    Aid World? The charity he represents is called World Aid. We’ll have to work on that. “Sure. When’s good for you? I’d love to meet to discuss
World Aid
.”
    â€œI’m only just now back from Bali, so, like, maybe sometime this weekend?”
    Meet during the weekend? A tad inconvenient, but oh well. “Sure. Love to. Bali? What were you doing there?” This is a classic trick. Make some chitchat with the client so that he feels important to and loved by your company.
    â€œBali? Oh right, Bali. There was this convention of actors who are concerned about, um, some animal there. What’s it called? Do you know? It’s the endangered