it.
‘Er… no. I’m Ruby. Called you yesterday.’
‘Ah, yes. That’s it, that’s it. Never good with names. Another kind soul to help me with all the lost ones I have to bloody deal with. We’ve been up and running for six months now and I haven’t managed to shift any of them. They all keep coming back week after week.’
Thinking, So much for being charitable , Ruby tried not to laugh.
‘We meet every Tuesday at eight.’ He paused. ‘And don’t be late. Ha ha ha, that gets them every time.’
Ruby had to laugh too.
‘Beautiful face, beautiful red hair. Sadness behind those eyes though. Don’t tell me you’ve lost one too?’
Ruby nodded. ‘My husband, over a year ago.’
‘Fab-u-lous. You can feel it all with them. The last volunteer was bloody useless. She was young. Spoiled, spoiled rotten. One of those silver-spooned lot, you know? I think the only thing that had ever died on her was her hair extensions. I doubt she’s even swatted a wasp in her life. My name’s Simon, by the way. Simon D.Y.E.’ He spelled it out. ‘Yes, yes, hilarious I know but that’s not why I chose to do this or my current vocation, honestly.’
Ruby wondered why, in that case, he had chosen to do this and what exactly his current vocation was. Simon took a deep exaggerated breath. Just listening to him was wearing her out. He carried on. ‘In fact, Ruby, talking of wasps…’
‘Er… were we?’
‘You have to see the gravestone that is under the old willow tree at the bottom of the graveyard. Laugh? I needed an incontinence pad! Right, let’s come to my office.’ He ushered her to the desk at the front of the hall. It didn’t really warrant the label of a hall really as it was no bigger than a larger-than-average lounge. It had windows down two sides, covered by cheap white plastic venetian blinds. She noticed a big cork board crammed with pictures she assumed had been drawn by the Sunday School kids. And, on the back of the main door there were scruffy notices of Mum and Baby Groups, Zumba classes and Stop Smoking clinics.
A picture of Jesus knocking on a door with the words And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you had been hung above the small kitchen area at the back of the room.
Ruby was quite taken aback when she spotted this, as she was sure Michael had used the ‘seek and find’ expression when talking about her wedding ring on a text before. She hadn’t questioned if he was religious or not. If he was, it wasn’t a problem. Everyone was entitled to have a faith. However, since George had died, it had intensified her feelings that if there was a real God He wouldn’t have ended her beautiful husband’s young life so abruptly…
Simon’s voice brought her back into the room.
‘Here is my office.’ He pointed to the messy table in front of him and sat down. ‘Now turn the heating up, Susie, honey - there’s a dial in the kitchen, back of the room. Bloody January, they are usually all more depressed than usual, what with Christmas just gone. Bugger! I forgot to bring the tissues. Expect we’ll get a few new ones too. A new year gives people a kick up the arse.’
‘Yes, it does,’ Ruby said far too quietly. And, then, without saying a word, Simon reached for Ruby’s hand and kissed it. She felt warm inside at his kindness.
‘But, aren’t they all in relationships here, or am I missing something?’ she asked. ‘I thought that this was a club to help people dating other people who had lost somebody?’
‘Just wait, Little Red Riding Whip, just wait. Right, heating on. Tea urn boiling. Custard Creams open. Yum! Seven-fifty-five, let’s rock ‘n’ roll. Oh, and I nearly forgot.’ He threw a scruffy piece of A4 lined paper at her. ‘I’ve summarised the regular miserable lot here for you. Well, more for me not to forget their bloody names and why they’re here really. So, I’ll have that back when
‘Er… no. I’m Ruby. Called you yesterday.’
‘Ah, yes. That’s it, that’s it. Never good with names. Another kind soul to help me with all the lost ones I have to bloody deal with. We’ve been up and running for six months now and I haven’t managed to shift any of them. They all keep coming back week after week.’
Thinking, So much for being charitable , Ruby tried not to laugh.
‘We meet every Tuesday at eight.’ He paused. ‘And don’t be late. Ha ha ha, that gets them every time.’
Ruby had to laugh too.
‘Beautiful face, beautiful red hair. Sadness behind those eyes though. Don’t tell me you’ve lost one too?’
Ruby nodded. ‘My husband, over a year ago.’
‘Fab-u-lous. You can feel it all with them. The last volunteer was bloody useless. She was young. Spoiled, spoiled rotten. One of those silver-spooned lot, you know? I think the only thing that had ever died on her was her hair extensions. I doubt she’s even swatted a wasp in her life. My name’s Simon, by the way. Simon D.Y.E.’ He spelled it out. ‘Yes, yes, hilarious I know but that’s not why I chose to do this or my current vocation, honestly.’
Ruby wondered why, in that case, he had chosen to do this and what exactly his current vocation was. Simon took a deep exaggerated breath. Just listening to him was wearing her out. He carried on. ‘In fact, Ruby, talking of wasps…’
‘Er… were we?’
‘You have to see the gravestone that is under the old willow tree at the bottom of the graveyard. Laugh? I needed an incontinence pad! Right, let’s come to my office.’ He ushered her to the desk at the front of the hall. It didn’t really warrant the label of a hall really as it was no bigger than a larger-than-average lounge. It had windows down two sides, covered by cheap white plastic venetian blinds. She noticed a big cork board crammed with pictures she assumed had been drawn by the Sunday School kids. And, on the back of the main door there were scruffy notices of Mum and Baby Groups, Zumba classes and Stop Smoking clinics.
A picture of Jesus knocking on a door with the words And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you had been hung above the small kitchen area at the back of the room.
Ruby was quite taken aback when she spotted this, as she was sure Michael had used the ‘seek and find’ expression when talking about her wedding ring on a text before. She hadn’t questioned if he was religious or not. If he was, it wasn’t a problem. Everyone was entitled to have a faith. However, since George had died, it had intensified her feelings that if there was a real God He wouldn’t have ended her beautiful husband’s young life so abruptly…
Simon’s voice brought her back into the room.
‘Here is my office.’ He pointed to the messy table in front of him and sat down. ‘Now turn the heating up, Susie, honey - there’s a dial in the kitchen, back of the room. Bloody January, they are usually all more depressed than usual, what with Christmas just gone. Bugger! I forgot to bring the tissues. Expect we’ll get a few new ones too. A new year gives people a kick up the arse.’
‘Yes, it does,’ Ruby said far too quietly. And, then, without saying a word, Simon reached for Ruby’s hand and kissed it. She felt warm inside at his kindness.
‘But, aren’t they all in relationships here, or am I missing something?’ she asked. ‘I thought that this was a club to help people dating other people who had lost somebody?’
‘Just wait, Little Red Riding Whip, just wait. Right, heating on. Tea urn boiling. Custard Creams open. Yum! Seven-fifty-five, let’s rock ‘n’ roll. Oh, and I nearly forgot.’ He threw a scruffy piece of A4 lined paper at her. ‘I’ve summarised the regular miserable lot here for you. Well, more for me not to forget their bloody names and why they’re here really. So, I’ll have that back when
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