The Bravest Kid I've Ever Known and Other Naughty Stories for Good Boys and Girls by Christopher Milne
Authors: Christopher Milne
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Peter Mills is the bravest kid I’ve ever known. Peter Mills is my brother.
Now I know it’s no use saying how brave Pete is unless I can prove it. And I will. I’ll tell you a story about him — an excellent story. But first I have to explain something.
Our mum and dad have split up. Which is nothing unusual, I suppose, but unless it’s happened to you too, some of this might be hard to understand. So you’ll have to use your imagination, which isn’t so bad.
When we were all still together, Mum and Dad used to fight really badly. All the time. And Pete and I would get this terrible feeling. Almost a sick feeling that this was it. That Mum might leave. Or Dad might. And then that worst feeling of all, that you might never see them again. Sometimes it’s hard for me to even talk about it.
I wanted to scream out, ‘Please! Stop it! You’re such nice people and we love you — why do you fight all the time?’ But I didn’t. I would just cry and leave the room.
Pete didn’t. He stayed. He wanted to cry, but he stuck it out as long as he could. Do you know what he did? He tried to make Mum and Dad laugh by telling jokes. If that didn’t work — and it usually didn’t — he’d make silly faces. One day he even pretended to hit his funny bone. Poor Pete. He thought if Mum and Dad laughed, they’d stop fighting.
Later I’d hear Pete crying by himself in his room. Yep, Pete is the bravest kid I’ve ever known.
After Mum and Dad split up, it wasn’t as bad as Pete and I thought. Not nearly as bad. Mum and Dad said they loved us so much that whatever happened, we would all stay close to each other. And we have. Mum and Dad’s houses are just ten minutes apart and we spend half our time with Dad and half with Mum.
It’s not as good as it used to be but, as I say, it’s not bad either. Poor Dad still misses Mum, but he tries to be brave about it. Maybe that’s where Pete gets it from. Sometimes I think Mum misses Dad too. Maybe she’s the bravest of everybody.
Which brings me to the real start of the story. I’ve taken a long time to get there, I know, but you have to know everything to understand.
One day this new kid started at school. Straight away, I knew I didn’t like him. His mum and dad had suddenly changed jobs, so he didn’t start until halfway through first term. Bruce was his name. Big Bruce. And he was a fighter.
Big Bruce could think of really smart things to say that made you feel stupid. And then he’d laugh and maybe spit on you. If you said anything back, he’d punch you out. And he never, ever stopped punching you until you cried. He reckoned that’s when you’d given in.
You can understand why Bruce wasn’t exactly my best friend. One day he did a wee in my lunch box. I’ve had better days.
Bruce used to get everybody. Everybody, that is, except Pete. Sure, he bashed Pete up. And made him cry, too. But he was never able to make Pete feel stupid. It was as if Pete was somehow strong inside. There was just nothing Bruce could say to get him.
It was really strange. You could watch Bruce punch Pete out and see Pete cry and then hang around while Pete slowly got up off the ground, and somehow — don’t ask me why — you would get this feeling that Pete had won! Maybe it was this look Pete used to get. It was different from any look I’ve ever seen. It was a strong look — as though Pete knew something we didn’t. And did it get to Bruce! It drove him crazy.
So Bruce started asking questions. Really sneaky questions. Trying to find something — anything — that would really fix Pete up. And he found it.
Before I get to the next bit, which is the really good bit, I should tell you about Pete’s running. Pete was the fastest kid in school. In fact the fastest kid any of us had ever seen. You’ll know why I had to tell you that later.
Anyway, one day we were playing a game of football at lunchtime and we stopped to get a drink. Bruce came over and bashed Pete on the
Now I know it’s no use saying how brave Pete is unless I can prove it. And I will. I’ll tell you a story about him — an excellent story. But first I have to explain something.
Our mum and dad have split up. Which is nothing unusual, I suppose, but unless it’s happened to you too, some of this might be hard to understand. So you’ll have to use your imagination, which isn’t so bad.
When we were all still together, Mum and Dad used to fight really badly. All the time. And Pete and I would get this terrible feeling. Almost a sick feeling that this was it. That Mum might leave. Or Dad might. And then that worst feeling of all, that you might never see them again. Sometimes it’s hard for me to even talk about it.
I wanted to scream out, ‘Please! Stop it! You’re such nice people and we love you — why do you fight all the time?’ But I didn’t. I would just cry and leave the room.
Pete didn’t. He stayed. He wanted to cry, but he stuck it out as long as he could. Do you know what he did? He tried to make Mum and Dad laugh by telling jokes. If that didn’t work — and it usually didn’t — he’d make silly faces. One day he even pretended to hit his funny bone. Poor Pete. He thought if Mum and Dad laughed, they’d stop fighting.
Later I’d hear Pete crying by himself in his room. Yep, Pete is the bravest kid I’ve ever known.
After Mum and Dad split up, it wasn’t as bad as Pete and I thought. Not nearly as bad. Mum and Dad said they loved us so much that whatever happened, we would all stay close to each other. And we have. Mum and Dad’s houses are just ten minutes apart and we spend half our time with Dad and half with Mum.
It’s not as good as it used to be but, as I say, it’s not bad either. Poor Dad still misses Mum, but he tries to be brave about it. Maybe that’s where Pete gets it from. Sometimes I think Mum misses Dad too. Maybe she’s the bravest of everybody.
Which brings me to the real start of the story. I’ve taken a long time to get there, I know, but you have to know everything to understand.
One day this new kid started at school. Straight away, I knew I didn’t like him. His mum and dad had suddenly changed jobs, so he didn’t start until halfway through first term. Bruce was his name. Big Bruce. And he was a fighter.
Big Bruce could think of really smart things to say that made you feel stupid. And then he’d laugh and maybe spit on you. If you said anything back, he’d punch you out. And he never, ever stopped punching you until you cried. He reckoned that’s when you’d given in.
You can understand why Bruce wasn’t exactly my best friend. One day he did a wee in my lunch box. I’ve had better days.
Bruce used to get everybody. Everybody, that is, except Pete. Sure, he bashed Pete up. And made him cry, too. But he was never able to make Pete feel stupid. It was as if Pete was somehow strong inside. There was just nothing Bruce could say to get him.
It was really strange. You could watch Bruce punch Pete out and see Pete cry and then hang around while Pete slowly got up off the ground, and somehow — don’t ask me why — you would get this feeling that Pete had won! Maybe it was this look Pete used to get. It was different from any look I’ve ever seen. It was a strong look — as though Pete knew something we didn’t. And did it get to Bruce! It drove him crazy.
So Bruce started asking questions. Really sneaky questions. Trying to find something — anything — that would really fix Pete up. And he found it.
Before I get to the next bit, which is the really good bit, I should tell you about Pete’s running. Pete was the fastest kid in school. In fact the fastest kid any of us had ever seen. You’ll know why I had to tell you that later.
Anyway, one day we were playing a game of football at lunchtime and we stopped to get a drink. Bruce came over and bashed Pete on the
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