you?”
Silence. Then he finally said, “Oh, you don’t want to do that, sweetheart. I’m not your enemy. Besides, don’t you want me
on your side when you take your husband to court? Especially when you guys start fighting about custody. Don’t you want me
on your side?”
This was a nightmare. “Look. What do you want from me? Money? Sex?”
Eddie chortled. “How about a little of both? Come on out. Let’s take a ride.”
I grabbed my purse and climbed into his van. He leaned over and kissed me and his mouth was hot and sweet. The slick seats
smelled of Armorall. Hedrove out to the abandoned grain silo by the county airport. And then, amidst the pesticides and peat moss in his van, Eddie
kissed my neck and whispered, “I missed you.” He started fiddling with my belt buckle.
“Eddie, please. I have to get back home.”
“Not yet, darling,” he whispered. He reached under my shirt and casually played with my breasts as he spoke. “We’re not done
. . . negotiating.”
“What do you want, Eddie? Gold? Is that what this is all about?”
A smile slowly spread across his face. “You’re a genius.”
“I don’t have the gold,” I told him. He pinched my nipple. “Ouch!” I yelled. “Let go!” I pulled away. “Eddie, I’m perfectly
happy to give you a little cash if you’re short. Just tell me what you need.”
He laughed. “ ‘A little cash’ isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
“Eddie, there is no gold. Diana was wrong.”
Eddie stared into my face. He didn’t know whether to believe me.
Finally, he said, “Really?”
I nodded solemnly. “Really.”
“In that case, I guess I’ll take you home now.” He turned the key in the ignition and I gulped back a lump in my throat. Neither
of us spoke during the ride back. He switched on a country station and hummed quietly. I wondered whether there was anyway Eddie might discover I had lied to him. When he pulled into my neighborhood, I reached for the door. “You can let me out
right here.” I jumped out and walked the quarter of a mile to my house.
It is now 3 P . M . Roger and Pete should be back any minute. My nipple still hurts.
’Til next time,
V
February 17
2:45 A . M . I’m sitting here, waiting for the Tylenol PM to take effect. I can’t sleep. I can’t get the image out of my head of Eddie
heaving over my body in the van. I swear I can still smell him on me. I’m completely obsessed with the following horrible
thoughts: (1) Eddie will realize that I’m lying and he’ll try to hurt me. (2) Eddie will realize I’m lying and he’ll kill
Pete. (3) Eddie has given me AIDS. (4) Eddie has given me herpes. (5) Eddie has given me genital warts. (6) I’m pregnant.
I’m finally feeling a little sleepy. I think I’m going to crash on the couch now. I can’t lie next to Roger, for all the obvious
reasons—and now this. I feel sick. But tired too, thank God. I’ve got to get at least a few hours’ sleep if I’m going to drive
out to Lake Merle tomorrow.
’Til next time,
V
February 18
I never thought I’d make it out of the house. First Pete said that he was still hungry after lunch, so I made him a cup of
tomato soup and a peanut butter sandwich. He then announced that he hated crunchy peanut butter. We were all out of creamy.
So I trashed the sandwich and made him tortellini instead. The colander tipped as I was draining the pasta, and the whole
thing slid down the garbage disposal. Pete started screaming and flailing his arms and legs. He kicked off a shoe, which hit
the mirror in the hall, shattering it into a million jagged pieces. I grabbed for the glass with my bare hands, cut my index
finger, and bled on the carpet. I couldn’t find the carpet cleaner and tried dishwashing liquid, which only made it worse.
When I finally settled Pete down, Roger appeared and announced that he wanted to make summer plans. He thought it might be
nice if Pete and I spent the summer
Silence. Then he finally said, “Oh, you don’t want to do that, sweetheart. I’m not your enemy. Besides, don’t you want me
on your side when you take your husband to court? Especially when you guys start fighting about custody. Don’t you want me
on your side?”
This was a nightmare. “Look. What do you want from me? Money? Sex?”
Eddie chortled. “How about a little of both? Come on out. Let’s take a ride.”
I grabbed my purse and climbed into his van. He leaned over and kissed me and his mouth was hot and sweet. The slick seats
smelled of Armorall. Hedrove out to the abandoned grain silo by the county airport. And then, amidst the pesticides and peat moss in his van, Eddie
kissed my neck and whispered, “I missed you.” He started fiddling with my belt buckle.
“Eddie, please. I have to get back home.”
“Not yet, darling,” he whispered. He reached under my shirt and casually played with my breasts as he spoke. “We’re not done
. . . negotiating.”
“What do you want, Eddie? Gold? Is that what this is all about?”
A smile slowly spread across his face. “You’re a genius.”
“I don’t have the gold,” I told him. He pinched my nipple. “Ouch!” I yelled. “Let go!” I pulled away. “Eddie, I’m perfectly
happy to give you a little cash if you’re short. Just tell me what you need.”
He laughed. “ ‘A little cash’ isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
“Eddie, there is no gold. Diana was wrong.”
Eddie stared into my face. He didn’t know whether to believe me.
Finally, he said, “Really?”
I nodded solemnly. “Really.”
“In that case, I guess I’ll take you home now.” He turned the key in the ignition and I gulped back a lump in my throat. Neither
of us spoke during the ride back. He switched on a country station and hummed quietly. I wondered whether there was anyway Eddie might discover I had lied to him. When he pulled into my neighborhood, I reached for the door. “You can let me out
right here.” I jumped out and walked the quarter of a mile to my house.
It is now 3 P . M . Roger and Pete should be back any minute. My nipple still hurts.
’Til next time,
V
February 17
2:45 A . M . I’m sitting here, waiting for the Tylenol PM to take effect. I can’t sleep. I can’t get the image out of my head of Eddie
heaving over my body in the van. I swear I can still smell him on me. I’m completely obsessed with the following horrible
thoughts: (1) Eddie will realize that I’m lying and he’ll try to hurt me. (2) Eddie will realize I’m lying and he’ll kill
Pete. (3) Eddie has given me AIDS. (4) Eddie has given me herpes. (5) Eddie has given me genital warts. (6) I’m pregnant.
I’m finally feeling a little sleepy. I think I’m going to crash on the couch now. I can’t lie next to Roger, for all the obvious
reasons—and now this. I feel sick. But tired too, thank God. I’ve got to get at least a few hours’ sleep if I’m going to drive
out to Lake Merle tomorrow.
’Til next time,
V
February 18
I never thought I’d make it out of the house. First Pete said that he was still hungry after lunch, so I made him a cup of
tomato soup and a peanut butter sandwich. He then announced that he hated crunchy peanut butter. We were all out of creamy.
So I trashed the sandwich and made him tortellini instead. The colander tipped as I was draining the pasta, and the whole
thing slid down the garbage disposal. Pete started screaming and flailing his arms and legs. He kicked off a shoe, which hit
the mirror in the hall, shattering it into a million jagged pieces. I grabbed for the glass with my bare hands, cut my index
finger, and bled on the carpet. I couldn’t find the carpet cleaner and tried dishwashing liquid, which only made it worse.
When I finally settled Pete down, Roger appeared and announced that he wanted to make summer plans. He thought it might be
nice if Pete and I spent the summer
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