right. “What did I do? I did something to you before the accident?”
She shakes her head and goes to leave. “It’s not important anymore, Keegan.” I get up and grab her hand, pulling her back from the door.
“Please just tell me…how am I supposed to deal with all this if I don’t know?” She looks so damn torn. I feel bad for this because it’s obviously hurting her to rehash these memories.
“You called me Sarah.” I drop my hand from hers and my whole body goes numb. Okay, I get it, not cool but not the ending of the world unless?
“Oh, I said it…” She nods and pulls away to the door but I don’t stop her this time. She didn’t deserve that. I don’t know why I’d even think of Sarah if I had her touching me.
“You said it after. You were drunk but it was my first time, and my only time. Goodbye, Keegan.”
This girl was a virgin and I took that from her and called her my ex’s name. Now I can’t even remember her. She walked in on me with that same ex. What a Jackass. I’m so stunned that I don’t even get to say bye. I just watch her walk out and leave me behind. You just lost the best thing you’ve ever had. One thing is for certain. I’m an asshole and I don’t deserve her but that doesn’t means I will let her go.
I’m a real selfish bastard.
Chapter Ten
Becca
What was that, Becca? I never expected it to be that way when I went in to see Keegan. The look in his eyes…he is so lost and so unlike the Keegan I know. I didn’t see the Keegan I’d known in that room. Who I did see made my heart tighten in a way I rarely had happen with him before. I walk down the hall to the little visiting area they have. It’s like a sunroom with some plants and a fish tank. It’s the closest I can get to nature and I’m craving it. I don’t hear anyone come in, so when I hear a voice say my name, I’m startled.
“Becca…” I turn to see Drake staring at me. “I’m just getting ready to take Keegan home but I wanted to stop in and see if you needed anything. I know this has got to be hard on you, Becca. Everything that you went through with Michael was worse and now this. But you got through that and you can get through this.”
“At least Michael died. I didn’t have to watch him walk around with just me having the memories of us. Only the memories are dead. Keegan is here, thank God, but it seemed easier because I didn’t have to see Michael not know who I was. Not remember that he loved me. Michael was just gone… Keegan, well I have to watch him be with someone else. To him, he knows nothing else; to me, it seems like in a blink of an eye I lost him. The difference is he’s still here plaguing me and reminding of everything I’ve lost. It was easier with Michael… God, Drake, what’s wrong with me that I feel this way?” I can’t look at him; I can’t believe I just said all that. Worse part is I meant and felt every word of it.
“Becca, he’s just as lost as you are. He might not remember you, but he knows something is missing. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have just begged my ass to bring you around when the team and everyone gets together.”
I bring my hand up to my lips, which not long ago had Keegan’s lips pressed against them. “I’m going to take him home. I will be back… but um… Jake is asking where you are.” I begin to panic that Jake will know something is wrong or that I’m still having love for Keegan.
“Becca… I saw that he kissed you. It doesn’t make you weak or a bad person for it. Just don’t lie about it. Get in front of it. You are allowed to be confused.” He gives me a tight hug, kissing the top of my head and leaving me here in the sunroom. The tears I’d been holding in since walking into that room with Keegan begin to pour out.
How much more can I take? I wish I knew because then I’d at least see an end to my pain. I hope Keegan remembers, not so that we can be together, because I
She shakes her head and goes to leave. “It’s not important anymore, Keegan.” I get up and grab her hand, pulling her back from the door.
“Please just tell me…how am I supposed to deal with all this if I don’t know?” She looks so damn torn. I feel bad for this because it’s obviously hurting her to rehash these memories.
“You called me Sarah.” I drop my hand from hers and my whole body goes numb. Okay, I get it, not cool but not the ending of the world unless?
“Oh, I said it…” She nods and pulls away to the door but I don’t stop her this time. She didn’t deserve that. I don’t know why I’d even think of Sarah if I had her touching me.
“You said it after. You were drunk but it was my first time, and my only time. Goodbye, Keegan.”
This girl was a virgin and I took that from her and called her my ex’s name. Now I can’t even remember her. She walked in on me with that same ex. What a Jackass. I’m so stunned that I don’t even get to say bye. I just watch her walk out and leave me behind. You just lost the best thing you’ve ever had. One thing is for certain. I’m an asshole and I don’t deserve her but that doesn’t means I will let her go.
I’m a real selfish bastard.
Chapter Ten
Becca
What was that, Becca? I never expected it to be that way when I went in to see Keegan. The look in his eyes…he is so lost and so unlike the Keegan I know. I didn’t see the Keegan I’d known in that room. Who I did see made my heart tighten in a way I rarely had happen with him before. I walk down the hall to the little visiting area they have. It’s like a sunroom with some plants and a fish tank. It’s the closest I can get to nature and I’m craving it. I don’t hear anyone come in, so when I hear a voice say my name, I’m startled.
“Becca…” I turn to see Drake staring at me. “I’m just getting ready to take Keegan home but I wanted to stop in and see if you needed anything. I know this has got to be hard on you, Becca. Everything that you went through with Michael was worse and now this. But you got through that and you can get through this.”
“At least Michael died. I didn’t have to watch him walk around with just me having the memories of us. Only the memories are dead. Keegan is here, thank God, but it seemed easier because I didn’t have to see Michael not know who I was. Not remember that he loved me. Michael was just gone… Keegan, well I have to watch him be with someone else. To him, he knows nothing else; to me, it seems like in a blink of an eye I lost him. The difference is he’s still here plaguing me and reminding of everything I’ve lost. It was easier with Michael… God, Drake, what’s wrong with me that I feel this way?” I can’t look at him; I can’t believe I just said all that. Worse part is I meant and felt every word of it.
“Becca, he’s just as lost as you are. He might not remember you, but he knows something is missing. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have just begged my ass to bring you around when the team and everyone gets together.”
I bring my hand up to my lips, which not long ago had Keegan’s lips pressed against them. “I’m going to take him home. I will be back… but um… Jake is asking where you are.” I begin to panic that Jake will know something is wrong or that I’m still having love for Keegan.
“Becca… I saw that he kissed you. It doesn’t make you weak or a bad person for it. Just don’t lie about it. Get in front of it. You are allowed to be confused.” He gives me a tight hug, kissing the top of my head and leaving me here in the sunroom. The tears I’d been holding in since walking into that room with Keegan begin to pour out.
How much more can I take? I wish I knew because then I’d at least see an end to my pain. I hope Keegan remembers, not so that we can be together, because I
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