that. Reality had her clearly stating that to a half dozen different counselors, but deep down, in her gut, or heart or soul, she just didn’t believe it. She was always fearing who would leave her.
Somehow without her mom ever telling her, Kylie knew Tracy had kept the McKinley last name for Kylie. She had never begrudged her mom Donny, but she had a hard time understanding how her parents could no longer love each other. She had been so sure and confident when she was young of her parents’ love for each other and her. It was all a lie. Mom claimed now it wasn’t. That their father loved them. He made some mistakes, yadda, yadda, yadda. That’s all Kylie’s brain could do when faced with thinking about her father in her life or how he felt about them to do this to them.
“Hey, hon. What’s up?” Tracy walked forward and sat on Kylie’s bed. It wasn’t her childhood bedroom. Of course that home had been sold, along with almost everything about their life until Donny. They had lived in Donny’s house for a few years before they had built this house. It was a comfortable house, about twenty-two hundred square feet with enough bedrooms for all of them. Her bedroom had been kept while she was at college and she still came to hide sometimes.
Her mom’s tone was casual, but her gaze traveling up and down Kylie was anything but. Looking, judging, wondering, worrying, her mom was always having to check on her. Kylie’s heart dropped. She was the bane of her mom’s existence. She was always the one to be worried and puttered over because there had always been things wrong. She was incapable of dealing with real life. Proven by every single thing that had ever happened to her, and how often she made the wrong decision or couldn’t handle it.
Kylie shrugged. “I just felt a little overwhelmed with classes. I know Donny probably told you I lost it all over him. I was just…”
What? Too chicken to face the boy I never told on? What to say? How to hide?
But Mom’s gaze was narrowed on her. She dropped her face to glare at the comforter. Tracy ran her hand along Kylie’s slicked back hair and tugged on the knot of hair. “I like your natural color. Any reason you’ve let it grow out? It’s been a few years since I’ve seen it.”
Kylie knew her mom often backed off and gave her space. Kept things easy so Kylie was comfortable with talking. Mom had the patience of fifty saints. She didn’t push or demand. She sometimes just let Kylie be quiet and morose and might never even know quite why.
“I was sick of trying so hard to keep it black.” She’d kept her long, thick hair dyed a midnight black for over a year. It was almost back to its dark auburn color. To Mom’s credit, she’d never said a word about not liking it. She was infallibly supportive of Kylie, even when Kylie really didn’t deserve it.
“Kylie? What really made you come home?”
She licked her lips. “There was this nasty rumor going on about me. I dated this guy, and he had a girlfriend, but I swear to you I didn’t know. She’s spreading lies about me. It’s so middle school, really. I can’t believe I let it get to me.”
There was no way she was going to insert “drunken sex at a party” for “dated.”
“It always hurts to have hurtful things said. Otherwise people wanting to hurt you wouldn’t say them, right?”
A surprise laugh escaped her mouth. “Right. Okay, you got me there.”
“Kylie, is there anything I can do?”
“No. It will pass. I was just sick of it.”
“You come here, okay? Anytime things out there hurt you. You come to us.” She pulled Kylie in for a quick hug. “I love you, honey.”
Twice today. First Donny, now Mom. Why couldn’t she just let their love and support be enough? She just didn’t understand why she couldn’t be all around better. It frustrated the crap out of her, as it surely did Mom, Ally, and Donny.
There was knock at the door when it slid open without preamble. Julia
Somehow without her mom ever telling her, Kylie knew Tracy had kept the McKinley last name for Kylie. She had never begrudged her mom Donny, but she had a hard time understanding how her parents could no longer love each other. She had been so sure and confident when she was young of her parents’ love for each other and her. It was all a lie. Mom claimed now it wasn’t. That their father loved them. He made some mistakes, yadda, yadda, yadda. That’s all Kylie’s brain could do when faced with thinking about her father in her life or how he felt about them to do this to them.
“Hey, hon. What’s up?” Tracy walked forward and sat on Kylie’s bed. It wasn’t her childhood bedroom. Of course that home had been sold, along with almost everything about their life until Donny. They had lived in Donny’s house for a few years before they had built this house. It was a comfortable house, about twenty-two hundred square feet with enough bedrooms for all of them. Her bedroom had been kept while she was at college and she still came to hide sometimes.
Her mom’s tone was casual, but her gaze traveling up and down Kylie was anything but. Looking, judging, wondering, worrying, her mom was always having to check on her. Kylie’s heart dropped. She was the bane of her mom’s existence. She was always the one to be worried and puttered over because there had always been things wrong. She was incapable of dealing with real life. Proven by every single thing that had ever happened to her, and how often she made the wrong decision or couldn’t handle it.
Kylie shrugged. “I just felt a little overwhelmed with classes. I know Donny probably told you I lost it all over him. I was just…”
What? Too chicken to face the boy I never told on? What to say? How to hide?
But Mom’s gaze was narrowed on her. She dropped her face to glare at the comforter. Tracy ran her hand along Kylie’s slicked back hair and tugged on the knot of hair. “I like your natural color. Any reason you’ve let it grow out? It’s been a few years since I’ve seen it.”
Kylie knew her mom often backed off and gave her space. Kept things easy so Kylie was comfortable with talking. Mom had the patience of fifty saints. She didn’t push or demand. She sometimes just let Kylie be quiet and morose and might never even know quite why.
“I was sick of trying so hard to keep it black.” She’d kept her long, thick hair dyed a midnight black for over a year. It was almost back to its dark auburn color. To Mom’s credit, she’d never said a word about not liking it. She was infallibly supportive of Kylie, even when Kylie really didn’t deserve it.
“Kylie? What really made you come home?”
She licked her lips. “There was this nasty rumor going on about me. I dated this guy, and he had a girlfriend, but I swear to you I didn’t know. She’s spreading lies about me. It’s so middle school, really. I can’t believe I let it get to me.”
There was no way she was going to insert “drunken sex at a party” for “dated.”
“It always hurts to have hurtful things said. Otherwise people wanting to hurt you wouldn’t say them, right?”
A surprise laugh escaped her mouth. “Right. Okay, you got me there.”
“Kylie, is there anything I can do?”
“No. It will pass. I was just sick of it.”
“You come here, okay? Anytime things out there hurt you. You come to us.” She pulled Kylie in for a quick hug. “I love you, honey.”
Twice today. First Donny, now Mom. Why couldn’t she just let their love and support be enough? She just didn’t understand why she couldn’t be all around better. It frustrated the crap out of her, as it surely did Mom, Ally, and Donny.
There was knock at the door when it slid open without preamble. Julia
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