Vice-Librarian’s —”
“Whatever,” Teldin cut him off. Fazin’s face fell. “Where’s the First Assistant whatever the rest of it was? Or, better yet, the real librarian?”
“I can tell you where they all are,” Fazin pointed out.
“Can you do it in five words or less?”
The gnome hesitated for a moment, then started counting on his fingers. “They’re … not … on … duty … today-and-they-won’t-be-on-duty-for-another-week-or-thereabouts-but-if-you-want-to-come-back-then-you-can-talk-to-them,” he finished in a breathless rush.
Teldin didn’t trust himself to speak for a few moments. Although he recognized he was getting much better at talking to gnomes – a very specialized skill, if one wanted to avoid homicide – he still found it rather more taxing than mortal combat. “Can you help me find some books?” he asked at last.
“That’s my job.”
The Cloakmaster sighed. “Take me to them,” he suggested.
*****
Instead of taking Teldin to the shelves of books as the Cloakmaster expected, Fazin led him to a small but comfortable waiting room off the circular hall. The gnome pointed to a small box containing square pieces of paper, a quill pen, and an inkwell. “You write down on the paper the subjects you want to read about,” Fazin explained. “Then I go to the indexing system and locate the appropriate books. Then I bring them to you here. It’s an efficient process, much better than you trying to use our indexing system yourself. After all,” he added with a quick grin, “I’ve been studying it for six years now, and sometimes it still surprises me. When we get the new indexing system working, things’ll be much better, but …” Apparently he saw the impatience in Teldin’s face, because he slid the box of papers across the tabletop toward the human. “There,” he suggested, “just write down what you want to know.”
Teldin looked down at the pen and paper. “Can’t I just tell you?” he asked.
Fazin looked scandalized. “You have to write it. That’s the system, and the system won’t work if you don’t follow it.”
“Why?”
The gnome was silent for a moment. Then, “I don’t know,” he admitted, “but that’s the system, and I’m sure there’s a very good reason for it. There’s always a very good reason …” He trailed off, then took a deep breath. “Why don’t you just tell me?” he capitulated. “What do you want to know?”
It was Teldin’s turn to take a deep breath, to try to relieve the sudden tension he felt in his chest. “The Spelljammer,” he breathed. “Get me what you have on the Spelljammer.”
Fazin’s green eyes opened as wide as they’d go. “You mean the one-and-only- Spelljammer -not-the-lesser-vessels-that-are-also-known-as-spelljammers? Yes, of course you do. Well.” He grabbed a piece of paper from the box, scrawled a few indecipherable words on it. “Got to follow the system,” he remarked conspiratorially to Teldin. “Would you like them all at once?”
“What?”
“All the books,” Fazin explained patiently. “Would you like them all at once, or maybe an easy hundred at a time?”
“What?” Teldin demanded again.
Fazin shrugged. “I assume you want all the information we have on the one-and-only- Spelljammer ,” he pointed out. “All the books and scrolls in the archive that mention the one-and-only- Spelljammer , well, there must be thousands of them. Now, would you like them all at once?”
“No, no, no,” Teldin almost shouted, raising his hands. He struggled to calm himself. “Look,” he went on more quietly, “I know there are lots of rumors about the Spelljammer – rumors, myths, legends … What I’m looking for is the truth. Do you have anything like that? Like maybe …” – he gestured vaguely – “like maybe a single book that lists all the things about the Spelljammer that are most likely to be true?”
“An interesting request,” Fazin
“Whatever,” Teldin cut him off. Fazin’s face fell. “Where’s the First Assistant whatever the rest of it was? Or, better yet, the real librarian?”
“I can tell you where they all are,” Fazin pointed out.
“Can you do it in five words or less?”
The gnome hesitated for a moment, then started counting on his fingers. “They’re … not … on … duty … today-and-they-won’t-be-on-duty-for-another-week-or-thereabouts-but-if-you-want-to-come-back-then-you-can-talk-to-them,” he finished in a breathless rush.
Teldin didn’t trust himself to speak for a few moments. Although he recognized he was getting much better at talking to gnomes – a very specialized skill, if one wanted to avoid homicide – he still found it rather more taxing than mortal combat. “Can you help me find some books?” he asked at last.
“That’s my job.”
The Cloakmaster sighed. “Take me to them,” he suggested.
*****
Instead of taking Teldin to the shelves of books as the Cloakmaster expected, Fazin led him to a small but comfortable waiting room off the circular hall. The gnome pointed to a small box containing square pieces of paper, a quill pen, and an inkwell. “You write down on the paper the subjects you want to read about,” Fazin explained. “Then I go to the indexing system and locate the appropriate books. Then I bring them to you here. It’s an efficient process, much better than you trying to use our indexing system yourself. After all,” he added with a quick grin, “I’ve been studying it for six years now, and sometimes it still surprises me. When we get the new indexing system working, things’ll be much better, but …” Apparently he saw the impatience in Teldin’s face, because he slid the box of papers across the tabletop toward the human. “There,” he suggested, “just write down what you want to know.”
Teldin looked down at the pen and paper. “Can’t I just tell you?” he asked.
Fazin looked scandalized. “You have to write it. That’s the system, and the system won’t work if you don’t follow it.”
“Why?”
The gnome was silent for a moment. Then, “I don’t know,” he admitted, “but that’s the system, and I’m sure there’s a very good reason for it. There’s always a very good reason …” He trailed off, then took a deep breath. “Why don’t you just tell me?” he capitulated. “What do you want to know?”
It was Teldin’s turn to take a deep breath, to try to relieve the sudden tension he felt in his chest. “The Spelljammer,” he breathed. “Get me what you have on the Spelljammer.”
Fazin’s green eyes opened as wide as they’d go. “You mean the one-and-only- Spelljammer -not-the-lesser-vessels-that-are-also-known-as-spelljammers? Yes, of course you do. Well.” He grabbed a piece of paper from the box, scrawled a few indecipherable words on it. “Got to follow the system,” he remarked conspiratorially to Teldin. “Would you like them all at once?”
“What?”
“All the books,” Fazin explained patiently. “Would you like them all at once, or maybe an easy hundred at a time?”
“What?” Teldin demanded again.
Fazin shrugged. “I assume you want all the information we have on the one-and-only- Spelljammer ,” he pointed out. “All the books and scrolls in the archive that mention the one-and-only- Spelljammer , well, there must be thousands of them. Now, would you like them all at once?”
“No, no, no,” Teldin almost shouted, raising his hands. He struggled to calm himself. “Look,” he went on more quietly, “I know there are lots of rumors about the Spelljammer – rumors, myths, legends … What I’m looking for is the truth. Do you have anything like that? Like maybe …” – he gestured vaguely – “like maybe a single book that lists all the things about the Spelljammer that are most likely to be true?”
“An interesting request,” Fazin
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