The Convenient Marriage by Georgette Heyer

thing, my dear fellow. In fact, I should almost feel inclined to recommend another hair powder than this blue you affect. A charming tint, Crosby: you must not think I don't admire it, but its reflected pallor upon your countenance—'
    'If I seem pale, cousin, you should rather blame the extraordinary announcement in today's Gazette . It has given me a shock; I shan't deny it has given me a shock.'
    'But, Crosby,' said his lordship plaintively, 'were you really sure that you would outlive me?'
    'In the course of nature I might expect to,' replied Mr Drelincourt, too much absorbed in his disappointment to consider his words. 'I can give you ten years, you must remember.'
    Rule shook his head. 'I don't think you should build on it,' he said. 'I come of distressingly healthy stock, you know.'
    'Very true,' agreed Mr Drelincourt. 'It is a happiness to all your relatives.'
    'I see it is,' said his lordship gravely.
    'Pray don't mistake me, Marcus!' besought his cousin. 'You must not suppose that your demise could occasion in me anything but a sense of the deepest bereavement, but you'll allow a man must look to the future.'
    'Such a remote future!' said his lordship. 'It makes me feel positively melancholy, my dear Crosby.'
    'We must all hope it may be remote,' said Crosby, 'but you cannot fail to have observed how uncertain is human life. Only to think of young Frittenham, cut off in the very flower of his youth by the overturning of his curricle! Broke his neck, you know, and all for a wager.'
    The Earl laid down his knife and fork, and regarded his relative with some amusement. 'Only to think of it!' he repeated. 'I confess, Crosby, what you say will add - er -piquancy to my next race. I begin to see that your succession to my shoes - by the way, cousin, you are such a judge of these matters, do, I beg of you, tell me how you like them?' He stretched one leg for Mr Drelincourt to look at.
    Mr Drelincourt said unerringly: ' A la d'Artois , from Jou-bert's. I don't favour them myself, but they are very well— very well indeed.'
    'It's a pity you don't,' said his lordship, 'for I perceive that you may be called upon to step into them at any time.'
    'Oh, hardly that, Rule! Hardly that!' protested Mr Drelincourt handsomely.
    'But consider how uncertain is human life, Crosby! You yourself said it a moment back. I might at any moment be thrown from a curricle.'
    'I am sure I did not in the least mean—'
    'Or,' continued Rule pensively, 'fall a victim to one of the cut-throat thieves with which I am told the town abounds.'
    'Certainly,' said Mr Drelincourt a little stiffly. 'But I don't anticipate—'
    'Highwaymen too,' mused his lordship. 'Think of poor Layton with a bullet in his shoulder on Hounslow Heath not a month ago. It might have been me, Crosby. It may still be me.'
    Mr Drelincourt rose in a huff. 'I see you are determined to make a jest of it. Good God, I don't desire your death! I should be excessively sorry to hear of it. But this sudden resolve to marry when everyone had quite given up all idea of it, takes me aback, upon my soul it does! And quite a young lady, I apprehend.'
    'My dear Crosby, why not say a very young lady? I feel sure you know her age.'
    Mr Drelincourt sniffed. 'I scarcely credited it, cousin, I confess. A schoolroom miss, and you well above thirty! I wish you may not live to regret it.'
    'Are you sure,' said his lordship, 'that you won't have some of this excellent beef?'
    An artistic shudder ran through his cousin. 'I never - positively never - eat flesh at this hour of the morning!' said Mr Drelincourt emphatically. 'It is of all things the most repugnant to me. Of course you must know how people will laugh at this odd marriage. Seventeen and thirty-five! Upon my honour, I should not care to appear so ridiculous!' He gave an angry titter, and added venomously: 'To be sure, no one need wonder at the young lady's part in it! We all know how i
    it is with the Winwoods. She does very well for herself,