groan and was beside him at once before her head had cleared. “Aaron,” she called out in a loud voice, trying to shock him into consciousness. “Aaron, I’m here.” She pressed the call button to bring a nurse, then wrapped him in her arms. He was struggling to free himself of the tubes and wires that enveloped him. “No,” she said, “you need to stay calm.” But he was in a mounting panic.
“What’s wrong with me?” he barked, his voice frail and foggy.
“You went into a coma. But you’ve come out of it. You’ll be all right.”
He refused to stay quiet. “You told me I was getting better,” he shouted. “Why am I back in the hospital?” Julia tried to hold him tighter, but he slapped her hand away. “You told me I was going to be healthy. You lied to me.”
Before she could say a word, the room was filled with doctors and nurses laboring to prevent him from yanking the IVs from his body. “She lied to me,” he kept repeating as he fought to leave the bed. “I don’t belong here. I want to go, to go!” Doctors were shouting at him to cooperate, but he insisted on struggling against them. At last, a nurse arrived with a syringe. The sedative took effect quickly. He fell back across the bed muttering, “What’s the point? What’s the God-damned point?”
***
I’m dying. I know it. The brightness isn’t helping me, it’s killing me, burning me up. It’s all over me, all around me like fever, hotter than fever. My skin is on fire. I keep seeing things from the game, like I can’t stop being in the game. Who’s that — there in the corner? The man in the hood, I can’t remember. Get him out of here! I’m dying and it’s her fault. She let me down. She told me she was going to save me and she couldn’t. I was never anything but a guinea pig for her to try all her stupid ideas on. She feeds me bad things, things that turn my stomach. As soon as I had the chance, I wrote this so she would know. Dr. Stein, you are a fake and a liar!!! I’m going to write this down tonight before I die. You’re a rotten fake. And I hate you!!! You said I was getting better. But I’m not. I’m worse than ever. I’m going to die. The brightness is setting me on fire. I’m melting. I’m a snowflake and I’m melting. I’m back in the hospital with tubes in every part of me. All these nurses and doctors. Think I don’t know what that means? It means I’m dying. I was in a coma for six days!!! I want to get as far away from you as I can before I die. And when I die, the last thought in my mind will be how much I hate you.
***
“It will take weeks to bring him back from this,” Julia lamented to her husband the next morning at breakfast. Jake found her at the kitchen table sitting over a cup of coffee, looking battle-worn after a night at Aaron’s bedside. It was the first time she had been home in the morning since Aaron was taken to the hospital. She and Jake rarely talked at breakfast, but seeing her so bedraggled he felt moved to give her a sympathetic word.
“But he will pull through, you think?”
“Yes. Fortunately, there’s been no physical damage to his brain or heart.”
“I thought you said there was brain damage.”
“We all thought so. There was every indication. But he’s showing signs of remarkable vigor. The hospital staff had trouble holding him down.” She paused, a long pause that left a sense of tension in the air. Jake looked up. She was frowning out the window. “He didn’t want to see me.”
“Maybe he’s just pretty fatigued.”
“No, I mean the way he said it. ‘I don’t want to see her. Tell her to go away.’ He was angry, hurt. Disappointed in me. I’m sure his morale has taken a beating.”
“Sounds like a good sign,” Jake said, tossing off the remark. He was flipping through a stack of papers,
“What’s wrong with me?” he barked, his voice frail and foggy.
“You went into a coma. But you’ve come out of it. You’ll be all right.”
He refused to stay quiet. “You told me I was getting better,” he shouted. “Why am I back in the hospital?” Julia tried to hold him tighter, but he slapped her hand away. “You told me I was going to be healthy. You lied to me.”
Before she could say a word, the room was filled with doctors and nurses laboring to prevent him from yanking the IVs from his body. “She lied to me,” he kept repeating as he fought to leave the bed. “I don’t belong here. I want to go, to go!” Doctors were shouting at him to cooperate, but he insisted on struggling against them. At last, a nurse arrived with a syringe. The sedative took effect quickly. He fell back across the bed muttering, “What’s the point? What’s the God-damned point?”
***
I’m dying. I know it. The brightness isn’t helping me, it’s killing me, burning me up. It’s all over me, all around me like fever, hotter than fever. My skin is on fire. I keep seeing things from the game, like I can’t stop being in the game. Who’s that — there in the corner? The man in the hood, I can’t remember. Get him out of here! I’m dying and it’s her fault. She let me down. She told me she was going to save me and she couldn’t. I was never anything but a guinea pig for her to try all her stupid ideas on. She feeds me bad things, things that turn my stomach. As soon as I had the chance, I wrote this so she would know. Dr. Stein, you are a fake and a liar!!! I’m going to write this down tonight before I die. You’re a rotten fake. And I hate you!!! You said I was getting better. But I’m not. I’m worse than ever. I’m going to die. The brightness is setting me on fire. I’m melting. I’m a snowflake and I’m melting. I’m back in the hospital with tubes in every part of me. All these nurses and doctors. Think I don’t know what that means? It means I’m dying. I was in a coma for six days!!! I want to get as far away from you as I can before I die. And when I die, the last thought in my mind will be how much I hate you.
***
“It will take weeks to bring him back from this,” Julia lamented to her husband the next morning at breakfast. Jake found her at the kitchen table sitting over a cup of coffee, looking battle-worn after a night at Aaron’s bedside. It was the first time she had been home in the morning since Aaron was taken to the hospital. She and Jake rarely talked at breakfast, but seeing her so bedraggled he felt moved to give her a sympathetic word.
“But he will pull through, you think?”
“Yes. Fortunately, there’s been no physical damage to his brain or heart.”
“I thought you said there was brain damage.”
“We all thought so. There was every indication. But he’s showing signs of remarkable vigor. The hospital staff had trouble holding him down.” She paused, a long pause that left a sense of tension in the air. Jake looked up. She was frowning out the window. “He didn’t want to see me.”
“Maybe he’s just pretty fatigued.”
“No, I mean the way he said it. ‘I don’t want to see her. Tell her to go away.’ He was angry, hurt. Disappointed in me. I’m sure his morale has taken a beating.”
“Sounds like a good sign,” Jake said, tossing off the remark. He was flipping through a stack of papers,
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