The Dangerous Book for Demon Slayers
everything she had. We were in a battle for Phil's life and I
refused to let him down.
    Come on, Phil.
    I focused, pushed, reached out to the guardian I'd never even met. Hope
bubbled through me as I clung to the thought of the one family member who could
be there, who was there for me.
    Let me see you, Uncle Phil. Come back. Just this once.
    Ffffzz-bit!
    I jumped two feet as Phil the fairy landed in front of me in a puff of
silver sparkles. At least, I hoped it was Phil. Through the haze of glitter, he
reminded me of Andy Rooney, from his bushy eyebrows to his red nose to the way
his pointy ears looked like they'd been crammed on as an afterthought. He
caught his balance and straightened his sugar-white tux over his round stomach.
In his other hand, he held two rings, looped around his pointer finger, as well
as a cup from Taco Bell.
    "What the… ?" He stared at the cup before setting it on a
mud-brown dresser. "Must have grabbed on to it when I felt myself
going," he muttered to himself. "Never felt anything like it. Helluva
tickle."
    "Uncle Phil?" I struggled to see him through the glistening embers
surrounding him. "Oh my God." Recognition slammed into me. "You
were the one who pulled me out of Lake Newman when I was eight." Goose
bumps skittered up my arms. It was him. I'd been reliving that moment in my
nightmares for the last twenty years. I'd almost drowned.
    "Lizzie!" His face lit up when he saw me. He batted his way through
a cloud of fairy dust and pulled me into a soft, smothering hug that smelled
like cinnamon buns. "At last! How's my girl?" He chuckled, his laugh
almost musical, as he took me in like a proud great uncle. "You're even
prettier than I remember."
    Grandma sniffed. "What? From last month? I hate to interrupt the
lovefest, but we have to get out of here," she said, sneaking a glance out
the front window.
    "Actually"—Phil captured me in a one-armed
hug—"we'd better fetch my fiancee. Serena's going to be sopping
mad."
    Just what we needed—an enraged she-demon.
    "Get on over here." Phil dragged Grandma over for a hug,
sprinkling her in fairy dust. "You're both invited to the wedding."
    Grandma wiped the glitter from the tip of her nose. For a second, I thought
she was going to punch her half brother in the gut. "Over my dead
body."
    A puzzled expression crossed his features.
    "Come with us," I said. He'd been mind warped by a she-demon, a
succubus. From what I'd seen in the 1936 guide, his brain would be like a scratched-up
CD, mostly intact but skipping over key parts. It should be fixable—if we
could get him out of here.
    "We'll explain everything," I said, dragging him away from
Grandma. He was going to be okay. I hoped. "Can your fiancee track
you?"
    "Well, she has my cell phone number," Phil said, confused.
    "Where is she?" Grandma asked.
    Phil drew his brows together. "Right where I left her. At the Love
Eternal drive-through wedding chapel." Phil's eyes widened. "Holy
smokes! I left her at the altar!"
    Grandma scowled. "She'll get over it."
    "I hope so." He clasped the wedding rings tight. "She has an
awful temper."
    "About that," I said, trying to broach the subject of she-devils.
    "No time," Grandma said, shoving him out the door. I hauled Phil
out back to find my rescue dog while Grandma searched for her wandering Mind
Wipers. Before we could get too far, I felt the sudden, intense, insane urge to
run back into the house and see exactly what was shimmering along the
baseboards. I could almost taste the evil.
    "Grandma," I called, hustling Phil and Pirate down the driveway.
"We have to get out of here. Now."

     
    Excerpt from
The Dangerous Book for Demon Slayers:
    Some things in life you just take for granted. They might not make
complete sense, but life feels better when you believe them. Case in point: I
never understood why a lot of hotels don't have a thirteenth floor. It's the
twenty-first century. Surely we're not that superstitious anymore. Well, we're
not. It turns out most

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