many Zebs though – guys who not only are innocent of the crime that they have been incarcerated for but who want everyone to believe that they are psychopaths.
The guards would also use me when it suited them. From conversations with the inmates, I become aware that there are other girls like me in this place. Of course there would be. But I haven’t seen any of them. We are kept and used well away from one another so that none of us knows how many of us there are at any given point in time.
In the time that I spend waiting between “assignments” in my cell, I come to understand what actually destroyed Lyth. It wasn’t the constant abuse that pushed her over the edge. It was the silence. Specifically, it was the lack of a median between the two. There was only intense violence and then absolute silence. Though the violence is painful, the real killer is the silence.
Experimentation
“What’s with him?” I ask Zeb, pointing to Gav who is passed out on his bed.
“He’s drunk.” Zeb replies.
“How does he get access to alcohol?” I ask in surprise.
“His girlfriend smuggles it in for him.” He tells me.
“But she called the cops on him.” I say with disbelief. If it had been me, I would not have continued to see him.
“Don’t try to understand what’s going on between those two. It will give you a headache.” He laughs.
“What I really don’t understand is why you’re here.” I tell him.
“You know why.” He tries to end the conversation.
“I know what you want me to think – what you want everyone to think. But that’s not what actually happened.” I tell him.
“How would you know what actually happened?” He smirks.
“I don’t.” I reply. “But I know what it’s like to be strangled by someone that actually wants to kill me. I also know what it’s like to be the one doing the killing. I was looking for a killer when you faux strangled me and I couldn’t find one.”
“Keep saying that and I just might strangle you for real.” He says, becoming impatient.
“You can say that but you won’t do it.” I tell him with confidence.
“Why wouldn’t I?” He asks me.
“ Because you are a Knax that’s pretending to be a Venry and if you kill me, they will reopen your file and reassess you. You’re not going to risk that happening. That’s why you’re not going to kill me.” I explain.
He hasn’t noticed that during our conversation, we have both switched languages. He hasn’t noticed that he has been conversing in Knav to me for a while now.
“Unbelievable.” He smiles. “No one has ever picked that up. How did you know?”
“I didn’t.” I tell him. “But when you answered my questions in Knav, I knew that I must be getting closer to the truth.”
“You’re right.” He replies, shaking his head.
“So you didn’t kill your boss?” I ask him.
“No. I went to him to ask for protection. We all knew that the army was coming. He gave us a severance payment and told us to leave.” He explains. “One of the guys strangled him by accident. He just thought that physical persuasion might be more powerful than verbal persuasion and he over did it. Someone had to stay at the crime scene to give the others enough time to get away. I volunteered because I didn’t like our chances on the road.”
I nod to show that I understood his reasoning. He was not making a valiant sacrifice for the team. He was doing his best to save himself.
He continues. “When the police came, they didn’t see a Knax that needed to be handed over to the army. They saw a murder that needed to be investigated so I told them what they wanted to hear. They were really happy to get it over with.”
“And you’ve been biding your time in here ever since.” I smile.
As far as survival strategies go, it was brilliant. Possibly one of the best that anyone has ever come up with. The most dangerous place in civil society has become the safest place in a civil war – because I agree
The guards would also use me when it suited them. From conversations with the inmates, I become aware that there are other girls like me in this place. Of course there would be. But I haven’t seen any of them. We are kept and used well away from one another so that none of us knows how many of us there are at any given point in time.
In the time that I spend waiting between “assignments” in my cell, I come to understand what actually destroyed Lyth. It wasn’t the constant abuse that pushed her over the edge. It was the silence. Specifically, it was the lack of a median between the two. There was only intense violence and then absolute silence. Though the violence is painful, the real killer is the silence.
Experimentation
“What’s with him?” I ask Zeb, pointing to Gav who is passed out on his bed.
“He’s drunk.” Zeb replies.
“How does he get access to alcohol?” I ask in surprise.
“His girlfriend smuggles it in for him.” He tells me.
“But she called the cops on him.” I say with disbelief. If it had been me, I would not have continued to see him.
“Don’t try to understand what’s going on between those two. It will give you a headache.” He laughs.
“What I really don’t understand is why you’re here.” I tell him.
“You know why.” He tries to end the conversation.
“I know what you want me to think – what you want everyone to think. But that’s not what actually happened.” I tell him.
“How would you know what actually happened?” He smirks.
“I don’t.” I reply. “But I know what it’s like to be strangled by someone that actually wants to kill me. I also know what it’s like to be the one doing the killing. I was looking for a killer when you faux strangled me and I couldn’t find one.”
“Keep saying that and I just might strangle you for real.” He says, becoming impatient.
“You can say that but you won’t do it.” I tell him with confidence.
“Why wouldn’t I?” He asks me.
“ Because you are a Knax that’s pretending to be a Venry and if you kill me, they will reopen your file and reassess you. You’re not going to risk that happening. That’s why you’re not going to kill me.” I explain.
He hasn’t noticed that during our conversation, we have both switched languages. He hasn’t noticed that he has been conversing in Knav to me for a while now.
“Unbelievable.” He smiles. “No one has ever picked that up. How did you know?”
“I didn’t.” I tell him. “But when you answered my questions in Knav, I knew that I must be getting closer to the truth.”
“You’re right.” He replies, shaking his head.
“So you didn’t kill your boss?” I ask him.
“No. I went to him to ask for protection. We all knew that the army was coming. He gave us a severance payment and told us to leave.” He explains. “One of the guys strangled him by accident. He just thought that physical persuasion might be more powerful than verbal persuasion and he over did it. Someone had to stay at the crime scene to give the others enough time to get away. I volunteered because I didn’t like our chances on the road.”
I nod to show that I understood his reasoning. He was not making a valiant sacrifice for the team. He was doing his best to save himself.
He continues. “When the police came, they didn’t see a Knax that needed to be handed over to the army. They saw a murder that needed to be investigated so I told them what they wanted to hear. They were really happy to get it over with.”
“And you’ve been biding your time in here ever since.” I smile.
As far as survival strategies go, it was brilliant. Possibly one of the best that anyone has ever come up with. The most dangerous place in civil society has become the safest place in a civil war – because I agree
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