The Dead Rise (Book 1): Zombies and Chainsaws by Mike Evans

off interrupting, "Cut the shit, Bill, it's been a long damn week and I don't have the patience for it. Is there a reason you two are still standing? You are kind of creeping me out. Were you under the impression this was going to be a short talk? Sit down, now!"
    The two men looked at each other nervously taking a seat, and Matt, of course, followed Bill's lead. Matt said, "Uh are we in trouble sir, did we do something wrong?"
    Phelps picked up the coffee cup swirling it around on the inside appearing to contemplate something before deciding that tonight was not going to be a sipping night. He would surely pay for it tomorrow but as of today could give two flying shits. He took the cup back slamming all the whiskey with one large drink. From the look on his face you would have thought he had just taken a drink of water, the burn did not affect him whatsoever. Bill who did not mean to actually say something said, "Damn sir you did have a long week. Is there something we can do to help you? If we did anything wrong or if we're in trouble I'd like to know, please."
    Phelps smiled and actually started laughing as he poured himself a second even more generous round of whiskey.
    "This whole goddamn country is in trouble boys. We got too many bastards getting into politics and all they are doing is fucking what ain't already broken up. They make it damn difficult for a hardworking man, like myself to keep a business. All they do is stand in and lobby against chemical factories trying to make the people of America fear us. They ignore the fact that we give people good paying jobs that keep them from standing on the streets looking for a damn hand out. Keep them from going out stealing and getting into all kinds of goddamned trouble. Christ, they owe me a damn award or something. Have the two of you been watching the news lately?"
    Both men shrugged. Neither were avid watchers of the news, at least not for more than five minutes a day when the sports were on.
    "You two boys weren't too big on school were you?"
    Bill opened his mouth to talk and Phelps cut him off holding up a hand. He said, "Bill that's what you call a rhetorical question, don't answer. I already know the answer. There's a new law that goes into effect boys. You see they're going to make us redesign everything here. Hell, it'll probably put me under. We are going to have to pay fees and taxes and fines on every barrel worth of shit we got here on hand. Well, you know we got a lot of barrels right? If you add that to the fee I'm going to have to pay just to try and keep this open, it'll leave me without a dime to my goddamn name. On top of all that, we'd be stuck with all this shit and wouldn't be able to get rid of any of our waste. All those barrels of shit is just going to have to stack on stack on stack on everywhere. We are going to have it coming out our asses by the time we're done."
    Bill said, “That's horrible sir, it's too bad we couldn't get rid of it.”
    Phelps smiled pulling out a cigarette from his pack he offered one to the two men who both declined. He said, “You two boys don't mind if I light up a cigarette do you?” 
    The two went to answer again and Phelps said, "Rhetorical. Again boys I don't give a shit. As of today it is still my office and my building. The way I look at it, if you don't like it then you can just get the fuck out if you got a problem with it. Bill, you had a hell of an idea though son."
    Bill pointed to himself and Phelps nodded his head.
    Bill said, “I did sir?”
    "Yes, you did. You see this new law they got, well it is going to go into effect tomorrow. Any chance you boys can tell me what today is?" 
    Bill stared intently looking like he was going to jump out of his seat.
    Phelps said, “Now this one is not a rhetorical question son.”
    Bill sat up straight in his seat. “Tomorrow is Saturday sir it's our day off sir. Today is Friday.”
    Phelps smiled leaning back in his seat. “That's right son it is Friday,