to come and help, the damn thing is way over the other side of the floor so should be easy for me to get down.”
“See you in a minute then.”
Ray propped open his office door with the pig’s head and I pushed the trolley a little further away then dropped a handful of mince.
Two pork chops and a rump steak later, Jacob stepped out of the lift onto the floor. He was drenched in sweat and looked pretty twitchy.
“You alright?” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s just getting to me a bit,” he said, then grabbed a chicken breast and chucked it on the floor.
“It’s getting to all of us,” muttered Ray. “‘Cept sleeping beauty here. You look fresh as a daisy.”
“Amazing what forty winks can do for the complexion,” I dropped a particularly bloody rib-eye on the floor with a satisfying
thwap
. “Can you push this for a second, Ray?”
He nodded, taking the trolley. I let a pre-plucked duck fall to the floor, wiped my hands on my jacket then pressed the button to talk to our eyes in the sky.
“Everything okay up there?” I said, then when there was no immediate reply I added, “erm, over.”
“Fine.” It was Erin. “Except we just lost sight of it. Might be near the stairs. Over.”
“Ten four to that,” Jacob and Ray stopped what they were doing to look at me. “Over and out.”
We stared at each other for a second and I began to question the sanity of what we were doing. Was the job really worth this?
A shrill ringing echoed around the corridor causing Jacob, Ray and I to simultaneously jump two inches into the air. I reached into my pocket and plucked out my phone. It was Agatha.
“Hello,” I said. As Agatha began to speak I could see the two of them straining to make out what she was saying.
“Really?” I continued, moving away a little to ensure they couldn’t make any of it out. “That’s brilliant. Listen, I’ve got to go.”
I hung up and smiled. “Gentlemen,” I said. “Let’s get this place decorated.”
Ray began pushing the trolley along faster, picking up speed with each step and Jacob and I were hurling raw meat left and right. Most of it was hitting the floor but, as Ray picked up speed, more of it started hitting the walls, the lighter pieces sticking where they landed, the heavier ones bouncing off and
flumping
to the ground. And Ray just kept picking up speed until he reached a point where we had to jog to keep up and the meat was flying left and right and there was blood splatter on our faces as we careered forward on this weird kind of reverse trolley-dash in an abattoir.
And as we were running along hurling meat I started to see what we were doing, mentally taking a step back, and I began to giggle. It was throwing the sausages that set me off. Of course, once I started, I set the two of them off as well until the three of us eventually skidded to a halt, howling with laughter, a trail of meat scattered behind us, and chunks of the stuff on our clothes.
The walkie talkie chose that moment to interject, spraying its static then countering with Erin saying four words.
“It’s on its way.”
The mood switched and the three of us ran back the way we had just come, carefully stepping around the meat explosion, until we reached the elevator.
“Come on, Jacob,” I said, stepping inside the lift.
“What about Ray?” he asked.
“I know what I have to do,” Ray said and as he walked past I handed him the walkie talkie.
“Glad to see you two are still in one piece,” back in the security office Erin touched Jacob’s sleeve, probably picking off some of the stray meat products.
“So what happens now?” asked Lori, not looking a great deal better than the last time I’d seen her.
“Now we watch on these monitors as the tiger follows the trail of meat to the caretaker’s office and, once it goes inside, Ray will step out of the room next door and lock the bastard in.”
“Excellent,” said Erin. “Can we
“See you in a minute then.”
Ray propped open his office door with the pig’s head and I pushed the trolley a little further away then dropped a handful of mince.
Two pork chops and a rump steak later, Jacob stepped out of the lift onto the floor. He was drenched in sweat and looked pretty twitchy.
“You alright?” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s just getting to me a bit,” he said, then grabbed a chicken breast and chucked it on the floor.
“It’s getting to all of us,” muttered Ray. “‘Cept sleeping beauty here. You look fresh as a daisy.”
“Amazing what forty winks can do for the complexion,” I dropped a particularly bloody rib-eye on the floor with a satisfying
thwap
. “Can you push this for a second, Ray?”
He nodded, taking the trolley. I let a pre-plucked duck fall to the floor, wiped my hands on my jacket then pressed the button to talk to our eyes in the sky.
“Everything okay up there?” I said, then when there was no immediate reply I added, “erm, over.”
“Fine.” It was Erin. “Except we just lost sight of it. Might be near the stairs. Over.”
“Ten four to that,” Jacob and Ray stopped what they were doing to look at me. “Over and out.”
We stared at each other for a second and I began to question the sanity of what we were doing. Was the job really worth this?
A shrill ringing echoed around the corridor causing Jacob, Ray and I to simultaneously jump two inches into the air. I reached into my pocket and plucked out my phone. It was Agatha.
“Hello,” I said. As Agatha began to speak I could see the two of them straining to make out what she was saying.
“Really?” I continued, moving away a little to ensure they couldn’t make any of it out. “That’s brilliant. Listen, I’ve got to go.”
I hung up and smiled. “Gentlemen,” I said. “Let’s get this place decorated.”
Ray began pushing the trolley along faster, picking up speed with each step and Jacob and I were hurling raw meat left and right. Most of it was hitting the floor but, as Ray picked up speed, more of it started hitting the walls, the lighter pieces sticking where they landed, the heavier ones bouncing off and
flumping
to the ground. And Ray just kept picking up speed until he reached a point where we had to jog to keep up and the meat was flying left and right and there was blood splatter on our faces as we careered forward on this weird kind of reverse trolley-dash in an abattoir.
And as we were running along hurling meat I started to see what we were doing, mentally taking a step back, and I began to giggle. It was throwing the sausages that set me off. Of course, once I started, I set the two of them off as well until the three of us eventually skidded to a halt, howling with laughter, a trail of meat scattered behind us, and chunks of the stuff on our clothes.
The walkie talkie chose that moment to interject, spraying its static then countering with Erin saying four words.
“It’s on its way.”
The mood switched and the three of us ran back the way we had just come, carefully stepping around the meat explosion, until we reached the elevator.
“Come on, Jacob,” I said, stepping inside the lift.
“What about Ray?” he asked.
“I know what I have to do,” Ray said and as he walked past I handed him the walkie talkie.
“Glad to see you two are still in one piece,” back in the security office Erin touched Jacob’s sleeve, probably picking off some of the stray meat products.
“So what happens now?” asked Lori, not looking a great deal better than the last time I’d seen her.
“Now we watch on these monitors as the tiger follows the trail of meat to the caretaker’s office and, once it goes inside, Ray will step out of the room next door and lock the bastard in.”
“Excellent,” said Erin. “Can we
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