food, orders us straight off. Itâs already dark.
The moment we leave, I feel very sad. Tears stream down my face. Iâm desolate about leaving home.
On the black, nighttime road, I fall behind. A little farther on, the other two decide on an alternative route, saying that on the first one we might get stopped. I follow them. After weâve walked a little more, Ma Yichao suggests that next time we should get a tractor for one yuan. I agree. Ma Shiping doesnât. She wants to carry on walking to school.
We trail behind her. Itâs so dark that after a little while we lose sight of her. We run to catch up with her, but we still canât see her. I start to cry loudly. When we finally find her, Iâm so happy, I burst into laughter.
Ma Shiping refuses to be intimidated by potential danger. She wonât give in to it. Even if her life is at stake, she carries on. I admire her with all my heart.
Monday, December 4
Today after school the others went home. Ma Jing and I did our homework quickly, then went to the market. In a little shop I bought a notebook for my Chinese class and a smaller one for my diary. Ma Jing bought a few hairpins and a towel.
By chance I meet a relative, holding a big bag in her hand. She tells me my mother asked her to bring us some padded clothes that would keep us really warm. I open the bag and see that Mother has also sent along some doughnuts cooked in the fat from yesterdayâs feast.
Iâm thrilled. Tonight Iâll be able to eat lots. But I ask myself whether weâll be able to return my motherâs kindness when she gets old.
Letâs hope soâ¦.
Tuesday, December 5
Music lesson this afternoon. The teacher warns us, âStudy well, because next week weâre having a test.â Everyone starts to study. My heart sinks. As soon as the word test is mentioned, I feel like crying.
Why cry? Because I didnât come in at the top of the class in math or Chinese in the midterm exams. When I told my parents about this, Father didnât say anything. He simply walked out of the house. But Mother exploded. âIf you carry on doing badly, you wonât even deserve the rolls you take along each week.â
Even though Father didnât say anything, I think heâs angrierthan Mother. Thatâs why I have to do well in the music test next week. I have to bring at least one good grade home to my parents.
Wednesday, December 6
This morning itâs beautiful out. Beginning the dayâs fast for Ramadan, the girls in the dorm tell each other funny stories. Weâve lit the incense we all bought together and we watch it burn. We tell each other we can soon go home and ask our mothers to make us noodles and rolls, so that we donât go around starving all the time.
When I hear a comrade say this, I feel really bad. It reminds me that I didnât come in first in the class. How will I be able to face going home and eating the meals Mother prepares?
But I have confidence in myself. At the end-of-term exams, if I donât come in first, I must at least come in second.
Thursday, December 7
The last class of the day is natural sciences. Then the comrades go out to play. I stay back to do my homework. Suddenly Ma Xiaohong and Ma Shiping, who are in my class, come in and ask, âWhat are you up to?â
Ma Xiaohong doesnât move, but Ma Shiping tears the notebook out from under me while Iâm still writing. The word scrawls off, the notebook is torn, the pencil broken.
Iâm so angry I canât keep it back. I swear at her, insult her. Shepays me back in kind. I get so furious I canât even speak any longer. She goes away.
Ma Jing says, âYour cousin is really angry.â
I answer, âToo bad. Itâs her fault in any case!â
But in my heart, itâs as if Iâm the guilty one, because sheâs older than me and I owe her some respect. My explosion was over the top. Thatâs probably
Laury Falter
Rachel Ament
Hannah Ford
Jodi Cooper
Ian Irvine
Geralyn Beauchamp
CD Reiss
Kristen Ashley
Andreas Wiesemann
Warren Adler