The Doctor's Sex Pills
by Kitty Meaker
Lindsay was strapped for cash. Actually, as she had told her mother, she was broke. Her mother had promptly told her to call her father, and her father had promptly told her he wasn't her goddamn slush fund.
Lindsay was searching online for a temp job or any sort of opportunity for a quick buck. The fridge was practically empty, the gas tank in her car was practically empty, and Lindsay was feeling desperate. The shady ads that promised cash payments for “young, attractive women” seemed tailor-made for her situation, but Lindsay wasn't that desperate. Not yet.
She was about to give up on the search when she saw a curious line – “Medical Testing. All Applicants Accepted.”
She clicked on the link and read further.
“ Dr. Sarno's Medical Research Clinic is looking for qualified applicants to participate in trials of a libido enhancing drug. Applicants must be over the age of 18 and should NOT be sexually active with a partner.”
Lindsay chuckled at this, imagining a line of cash-strapped virgins a mile long. But so far, the criteria fit her... she hadn't been with a guy in 3 months. Surely that was long enough to mark her as “sexually inactive”. She guessed the phrasing about a partner meant it was okay to masturbate, which was good – Lindsay didn't want to stop doing that. She read on.
“ Applicants must be willing to submit daily journals and use a patented medical device to measure the effect of the medicine. Applicants will be required to abstain from sexual relations while participating in the study, and will be disqualified for doing so. You will receive a cash payment immediately after your approval, and all qualified applicants will receive a cash payment after each weekly appointment.”
The ad went on to detail when and where they'd be accepting applicants.
“ Only tomorrow, and only for an hour,” Lindsay murmured. “Wonder if it's worth trying.”
She went to the fridge for a beer. She sighed, realizing she was out of beer. “Well, I guess that decides it, then.” She saved the address in her phone and set her alarm for the next morning.
* * *
She showed up to the clinic and was surprised to find that there wasn't a line outside. She stepped in and saw that there were only a few people waiting. She went up to the front desk. “Where are all the people?” she asked.
“ What are you here for, ma'am?” the lady asked her.
“ Well,” Lindsay said, “I saw this ad online...”
The lady handed her a clipboard. “Fill this out and bring it back to me. We've only had a few responses to the ad, so you shouldn't have to wait long.”
Lindsay sat down and looked briefly around the waiting room. Nobody in there was as pretty as she was. If they're here for the same reason I am, it's easy to guess why they're not having sex, she thought, then admonished herself. I shouldn't judge. I'm just as broke and lonely as they are.
She filled out the form quickly. It mostly asked the same questions that had been mentioned in the ad – was she sexually active? Will she commit to filling out a daily journal? She checked yes to everything and turned the form over, surprised to find that there was nothing on the back. She brought the clipboard back up to the desk and handed it over.
“ Thank you,” the lady said. “The doctor will be with you shortly.”
Lindsay sat and waited while three other women were called in to see Dr. Sarno. Having nothing better to do, she timed them – each woman was in and out in less than ten minutes. She watched them leave, but none of them seemed to be upset about being rejected from the program. Is he really approving them that quickly?
Shortly after the third woman left, the nurse called her name. She stood up and followed her back into an exam room.
To her surprise, the doctor showed up immediately. “Good morning, Lindsay,” he said. “I'm Dr. Sarno.”
She reached out and shook his hand, surprised to see
by Kitty Meaker
Lindsay was strapped for cash. Actually, as she had told her mother, she was broke. Her mother had promptly told her to call her father, and her father had promptly told her he wasn't her goddamn slush fund.
Lindsay was searching online for a temp job or any sort of opportunity for a quick buck. The fridge was practically empty, the gas tank in her car was practically empty, and Lindsay was feeling desperate. The shady ads that promised cash payments for “young, attractive women” seemed tailor-made for her situation, but Lindsay wasn't that desperate. Not yet.
She was about to give up on the search when she saw a curious line – “Medical Testing. All Applicants Accepted.”
She clicked on the link and read further.
“ Dr. Sarno's Medical Research Clinic is looking for qualified applicants to participate in trials of a libido enhancing drug. Applicants must be over the age of 18 and should NOT be sexually active with a partner.”
Lindsay chuckled at this, imagining a line of cash-strapped virgins a mile long. But so far, the criteria fit her... she hadn't been with a guy in 3 months. Surely that was long enough to mark her as “sexually inactive”. She guessed the phrasing about a partner meant it was okay to masturbate, which was good – Lindsay didn't want to stop doing that. She read on.
“ Applicants must be willing to submit daily journals and use a patented medical device to measure the effect of the medicine. Applicants will be required to abstain from sexual relations while participating in the study, and will be disqualified for doing so. You will receive a cash payment immediately after your approval, and all qualified applicants will receive a cash payment after each weekly appointment.”
The ad went on to detail when and where they'd be accepting applicants.
“ Only tomorrow, and only for an hour,” Lindsay murmured. “Wonder if it's worth trying.”
She went to the fridge for a beer. She sighed, realizing she was out of beer. “Well, I guess that decides it, then.” She saved the address in her phone and set her alarm for the next morning.
* * *
She showed up to the clinic and was surprised to find that there wasn't a line outside. She stepped in and saw that there were only a few people waiting. She went up to the front desk. “Where are all the people?” she asked.
“ What are you here for, ma'am?” the lady asked her.
“ Well,” Lindsay said, “I saw this ad online...”
The lady handed her a clipboard. “Fill this out and bring it back to me. We've only had a few responses to the ad, so you shouldn't have to wait long.”
Lindsay sat down and looked briefly around the waiting room. Nobody in there was as pretty as she was. If they're here for the same reason I am, it's easy to guess why they're not having sex, she thought, then admonished herself. I shouldn't judge. I'm just as broke and lonely as they are.
She filled out the form quickly. It mostly asked the same questions that had been mentioned in the ad – was she sexually active? Will she commit to filling out a daily journal? She checked yes to everything and turned the form over, surprised to find that there was nothing on the back. She brought the clipboard back up to the desk and handed it over.
“ Thank you,” the lady said. “The doctor will be with you shortly.”
Lindsay sat and waited while three other women were called in to see Dr. Sarno. Having nothing better to do, she timed them – each woman was in and out in less than ten minutes. She watched them leave, but none of them seemed to be upset about being rejected from the program. Is he really approving them that quickly?
Shortly after the third woman left, the nurse called her name. She stood up and followed her back into an exam room.
To her surprise, the doctor showed up immediately. “Good morning, Lindsay,” he said. “I'm Dr. Sarno.”
She reached out and shook his hand, surprised to see
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