not just accept that every time we go out on the street that we can be raped? That we can be humiliated and battered and raped in our homes and on our jobs? That our daughters and our daughters’ daughters will grow up in the same way, afraid, terrified underneath, and that our sons and our grandsons will grow up knowing that they have the power to terrorize….
“Well,” and Loie paused and looked at us like a big Nordic goddess looking down on a pack of frail human beings, with a mixture of tenderness and resolve, “I’ll tell you why I don’t give up, and why many of us refuse to give up. It is because of women like Karen Ann Jones, once known as Dolly Delight, who lives with the knowledge that her forced degradation in dozens of films is still being shown everywhere in the world, making millions of dollars for the men who forced her into such degradation. It’s because of all of us, and I’m including myself, friends and relatives, who were once in positions that we imagined were freely chosen, but in fact were forced upon us, positions where our humanity was degraded, where we were used to make messages that conveyed pleasure in degradation, where…”
Loie seemed to be looking down at someone in the audience, and then she abruptly broke off. For an instant she appeared confused, almost angry, then she recovered herself and quickly brought her speech to a close, with a trembling urgency that had some of the audience wildly clapping before she had even finished. What had Loie been about to say? And what had stopped her? I strained my neck to see who it was she’d noticed in the audience, but I was too far back.
“I work against pornography, in spite of enemies on the right and on the left because I can’t do anything else. For my self-respect and for the self-respect of the millions of humiliated women who depend on me to speak for them. Thank you.”
The applause was thunderous, and cries of “Loie, Loie” filled the air.
Penny nudged me. “You really think there are millions of humiliated women out there, with no one to speak for them but Loie?”
“Shhh!” said the woman behind us.
During the dinner break before the panel discussion was to begin, Penny, June, Hadley and I went to an Ethiopian restaurant nearby. It was packed with women from the conference. I saw Nicky and Oak and their S/M crowd come in. Nicky hung up her leather coat on the coat rack by the door. She was no longer wearing her dog collar, but looked highly excited.
We were lucky enough to get a table right away. Between sopping up the sauces with that spongy sour white bread they serve, we discussed the different styles of Gracie and Loie.
“The thing I hate,” said June, “is that speakers like Loie who are doing the doom and gloom number on us always have to throw in phrases like, ‘And for black women, the situation is even worse.’ We’re not a statistic to be tacked onto the general discussion. And besides, why is it worse? Abuse is abuse.”
“It’s because they can’t deal with racism other than further victimization,” Penny said. “So if things are bad for white women, who are supposed to be the norm, they must be really bad for black women.”
“I liked what Gracie said,” mused Hadley. “I’ve been asking myself why I haven’t had a clear position on pornography, like I should have one, and not why this particular discussion has become so important all of a sudden.”
I didn’t know why, but I suddenly had the urge to defend Loie. “She’s incredibly sincere, Loie. I had the feeling that she’s been through a lot herself, that it’s more than a political cause for her, that she really identifies with women who’ve been victimized.”
“Do you think so?” June was skeptical. “I think she’s just got a big mouth and she likes to hear herself talk. She’d be nobody if there was a really was an end to pornography.”
“That woman Miko has a bigger mouth,” said Penny. “The panel
“Well,” and Loie paused and looked at us like a big Nordic goddess looking down on a pack of frail human beings, with a mixture of tenderness and resolve, “I’ll tell you why I don’t give up, and why many of us refuse to give up. It is because of women like Karen Ann Jones, once known as Dolly Delight, who lives with the knowledge that her forced degradation in dozens of films is still being shown everywhere in the world, making millions of dollars for the men who forced her into such degradation. It’s because of all of us, and I’m including myself, friends and relatives, who were once in positions that we imagined were freely chosen, but in fact were forced upon us, positions where our humanity was degraded, where we were used to make messages that conveyed pleasure in degradation, where…”
Loie seemed to be looking down at someone in the audience, and then she abruptly broke off. For an instant she appeared confused, almost angry, then she recovered herself and quickly brought her speech to a close, with a trembling urgency that had some of the audience wildly clapping before she had even finished. What had Loie been about to say? And what had stopped her? I strained my neck to see who it was she’d noticed in the audience, but I was too far back.
“I work against pornography, in spite of enemies on the right and on the left because I can’t do anything else. For my self-respect and for the self-respect of the millions of humiliated women who depend on me to speak for them. Thank you.”
The applause was thunderous, and cries of “Loie, Loie” filled the air.
Penny nudged me. “You really think there are millions of humiliated women out there, with no one to speak for them but Loie?”
“Shhh!” said the woman behind us.
During the dinner break before the panel discussion was to begin, Penny, June, Hadley and I went to an Ethiopian restaurant nearby. It was packed with women from the conference. I saw Nicky and Oak and their S/M crowd come in. Nicky hung up her leather coat on the coat rack by the door. She was no longer wearing her dog collar, but looked highly excited.
We were lucky enough to get a table right away. Between sopping up the sauces with that spongy sour white bread they serve, we discussed the different styles of Gracie and Loie.
“The thing I hate,” said June, “is that speakers like Loie who are doing the doom and gloom number on us always have to throw in phrases like, ‘And for black women, the situation is even worse.’ We’re not a statistic to be tacked onto the general discussion. And besides, why is it worse? Abuse is abuse.”
“It’s because they can’t deal with racism other than further victimization,” Penny said. “So if things are bad for white women, who are supposed to be the norm, they must be really bad for black women.”
“I liked what Gracie said,” mused Hadley. “I’ve been asking myself why I haven’t had a clear position on pornography, like I should have one, and not why this particular discussion has become so important all of a sudden.”
I didn’t know why, but I suddenly had the urge to defend Loie. “She’s incredibly sincere, Loie. I had the feeling that she’s been through a lot herself, that it’s more than a political cause for her, that she really identifies with women who’ve been victimized.”
“Do you think so?” June was skeptical. “I think she’s just got a big mouth and she likes to hear herself talk. She’d be nobody if there was a really was an end to pornography.”
“That woman Miko has a bigger mouth,” said Penny. “The panel
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