The Draglen Brothers - SHOWKEN (BK 2) by Solease M Barner Page A

asks, sounding really concerned. I hate when I have nightmares, but last night was a fantasy. I wish I could be in a relationship, but I don’t want to bring my baggage to Showken. He would run for the hills.
    “ Marilyn? Huh? What you thinking about?” Jasmine asks.
    I sigh, I know telling her will only ease her mind. I take a deep breath and let it spill.
    “I fucked Showken last night ,” I say, waiting for it. There is silence and then a lot of screaming and laughing.
    “Holy fuckballs B atman! Bitch, you were digging him, I knew it. All of that talk and he got to you. Is he good? I bet he’s awesome in bed with that body and those eyes . . . shit, I wish I were you. Damn. You finally got some,”
    “Jazz, yes it was awesome, yes it’s the best I’ve ever had and I couldn’t fucking walk, but ,” I say hesitating.
    “No buts, you deserves this. Please Mari, tell me you didn’t give him the boot?” she pleads. I climb out of the car and head towards the back door to start my shift. I’m glad we close early tonight.
    “Mari listen, he’s what you need to find your way back into the world of dating, and who knows, you might fall for him,” she says. I walk into the bar and head towards the front. I’m still talking on the phone when I see him. He has his arm around some whore and is having a beer with her. I hear Jasmine calling my name. I’m fucking shocked; he was just begging to see me tonight. The tears are filling my eyes, and I refuse to let one drop. He looks up and makes eye contact with me, and we stare at each other. Fuck him, I say to myself, turning to head back out the door. I can’t do this today, not now. He used me like everyone does. Hanging up the cell phone, I make a dash for my car. I hear running behind me, and turning around I see Showken, right there spinning me around. Reflex kicks in and I begin to fight. I’m crying uncontrollably while I’m kicking and punching him.
    “ Marilyn, please just listen, it’s not what you think,” he says.
    “Fuck you; get your han ds off me before I yell rape!” He stares at me strangely. I can’t even be sorry for saying that right now. He used me and just wanted to get into my pants, just like I thought. “LET ME GO NOW!” I yell. He finally releases me and I make my way to my car. I’ll call in a few minutes and inform my boss I’m not coming in. Showken follows.
    “ Marilyn please, I just was trying to get you to see me tonight, I wasn’t thinking, I don’t want that girl, I want you. I ran after you, please don’t shut me out, please, please, I’m so sorry,” he says, and I see a flicker in his eyes, but I shake my head. I can’t do this. People always hurt me. My cell phone starts ringing and it’s Jasmine. I hit ignore. Climbing into my car, I start the engine and drive off. I don’t know where I’m going, but I can’t go home, he will only follow me there. I just drive. I call my boss to let him know I need a few days off; he agrees, and I fill up my tank and drive. Showken used me. I can’t believe I fell for him. I don’t have anywhere to go. I can’t go to Jasmine’s, because he might know where she stays. I feel the tears come again. I’m so stupid for allowing this to happen to me, again. Nobody wants me; I will always be an unloved woman. Why would he want me, my own mother didn’t want me, she chose her loser boyfriend over me. My father is no better, he was all good until my body started developing, but then when the money was low, he used me to pay the bills by selling my body to his friends. I’m everyone’s girl to use. All my boyfriends throughout my life have always used me for something. I drive to where I can become invisible, Samuel’s place. I pull into the driveway and I’m greeted by Mona, Samuel’s ‘man girl’. I will lie low here for a day. Nobody knows I sold myself for a few years in my teens. Samuel won’t ask for anything except money, and I will give him two hundred bucks and