The Dragon and the George by Gordon R. Dickson Page A

it, I'd be talking it with you—naturally. Actually we're simply talking. Will you stick to the point? Go on about yourself."
    "But, I mean, do dragons and humans here—I mean georges—speak the same language? I mean, I seem to be speaking your language, not mine—"
    "Why not?" Carolinus said, closing his eyes. "In the domain of the Powers there is only one language possible—by definition. And if you're not talking to the point in five seconds, you're a beetle, on general principles."
    "Oh. All right. Well," Jim explained, "the thing is, I'm not so interested in getting out of this dragon-body as I am in getting back to where I came from. My—uh—Angie, the girl I'm going to marry—"
    "Yes, yes, on October thirteenth," said Carolinus impatiently. "Get on with it."
    "October thirteenth? This October? You mean in just three weeks?"
    "You heard me."
    "But, I mean—so soon? We didn't hope—"
    Carolinus opened his eyes. He did not mention beetles, but Jim understood immediately.
    "Angie—" he began hurriedly.
    "Who is where?" Carolinus interrupted. "You're here. Where's this Angie?"
    "At the dragon cave."
    "She's a dragon, too, then?"
    "No, she's human."
    "I see the difficulty."
    "Well, yes—No," said Jim. "I don't think you do. The difficulty is, I can send her back, but possibly I can't get back myself; and she won't go without me. Look, maybe I better tell you the whole story from the beginning."
    "Brilliant suggestion," said Carolinus, wincing and closing his eyes again.
    "You see," said Jim, "I'm a teaching assistant at a place called Riveroak College. Actually, I ought to be an instructor in the English Department…" He ran rapidly over the whole situation.
    "I see," Carolinus replied, opening his eyes finally. "You're sure about all this, now? You wouldn't prefer to change your story to something simpler and more reasonable—like being a prince ensorceled into a dragon by a rival with access to one of those Inner Kingdom charlatans? No?" He sighed heavily and winced again. "What do you want me to do about it?"
    "We thought you might be able to send both Angie and myself back where we belong."
    "Possible. Difficult, of course. But I suppose I could manage, given time and a proper balance between Chance and History. All right. That'll be five hundred pounds of gold or five pounds of rubies, payable in advance."
    "What?"
    "Why not?" Carolinus inquired, frostily. "It's a fair fee."
    "But—" Jim almost stammered. "I don't have any gold—or rubies."
    "Let's not waste time!" snapped Carolinus. "Of course you have. What kind of a dragon would you be without a hoard?"
    "But I don't!" Jim protested. "Maybe this Gorbash has a hoard someplace. But if so, I don't know where it is."
    "Nonsense. I'm willing to be reasonable, though. Four hundred and sixty pounds of gold."
    "I tell you I don't have a hoard!"
    "All right. Four twenty-five. But I warn you, that's my rock-bottom price. I can't work for less than that and still keep house and goods together."
    "I don't have a hoard!"
    "Four hundred, then, and may a magician's curse—Just a second. You mean you really don't know where this Gorbash-hoard is?"
    "That's what I've been trying to tell you."
    "Another charity patient!" exploded Carolinus, flinging skinny fists in the air, furiously. "What's wrong with the Auditing Department? Answer me!"
    "Sorry," came the invisible bass voice.
    "Well," said Carolinus, calming, "see that it doesn't happen again—for another ten days at least." He turned once more to Jim. "Haven't you any means of payment at all?"
    "Well," Jim said, cautiously, "about this stomach ache of yours. I've just been thinking… Does it go away after you eat something?"
    "Yes," said Carolinus, "as a matter of fact it does, temporarily."
    "I was just thinking you might have what people where I come from call a stomach ulcer. People who live and work under a good deal of nervous pressure often get