to make out all the words. “You have this open face, and you’re funny, and sometimes you say things in a weird way that I like. And, I don’t know. I just have a feeling I’d like you, if you let me know you.”
I felt my cheeks go hot. We walked quietly for a bit. “Give me a minute; I’m trying to think of something to say.” I had never felt so provoked. In a good way. In a blood racing through my veins way.
“Don’t blame me, I tried to back out, but you insisted on honesty.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, as though that might keep him from seeing inside me and knowing how very fast my heart was beating. I’d never had this sort of conversation with a boy. “I’m going to tell you this last thing, and then I really need you to go.”
His smile widened.
“You’re pretty sure of yourself.” I shook my head at him.
“Maybe I think the same thing about you.”
I waved my hand to dismiss that. I was anything but sure, I was just fairly unafraid. There was a difference. “I guess it’s okay if I tell you. I’m surprised you don’t already know. I’m pretty sure Celia thinks you know. But then again, don’t people always assume other people are thinking about them more than they actually are?”
“Maybe, but sometimes it’s the other way around. Sometimes someone is thinking of a person, and that person has no idea.”
I froze for a second. Did I sometimes pop into his mind the way he popped into mine? “Well, I guess that happens too. Anyway, I suppose if I can’t talk to you, it’s only fair for you to know why. I should warn you though, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.” I paused, trying to think of the right words. “My aunt and Celia have this idea that we should all ignore your family, because of something your dad did.”
“What did he do?”
I felt rather embarrassed to tell him. I didn’t want him to think my family was crazy. “I don’t know all the details, but I know your father called the police because of an argument between my uncle and aunt. My guess is that my uncle feels ashamed. They like to keep the fighting private.”
That wiped the smile off Malcolm’s face, as I thought it might. “I’m not trying to be rude or mysterious by staying away from you,” I continued. “I just need to keep from upsetting my family.”
His eyes widened at me. “Do you mean because you’re afraid they’ll hurt you?” He tensed and his posture went rigid.
“No, I don’t mean that, not at all. To be honest, I think the whole thing is kind of ridiculous. Clearly your dad was only trying to help. But Celia told me to stay away from you, or her dad would be angry. I heard him talk about your dad a few nights ago, and he really does hold a grudge. I guess they think if we all stay away from your family, nothing else bad can happen.” I swallowed. “My parents need me to stay here this summer, and so I want to respect my aunt and uncle’s rules.” I’d said more than I planned.
“Why do your parents need you to stay here?”
“If you keep asking follow-up questions, this will keep being a conversation, and I’m not supposed to be doing that with you.” I looked up at him, to see his smile was back.
“I hear what you’re saying. But is it family loyalty, or is it fear?”
“I’m not scared. And you’re still asking questions.”
“Nobody is anywhere near us right now to see that we’re talking.”
“This is a small town. I’ve heard all about small towns. Probably someone is watching us through binoculars out their kitchen window.”
“The more words you say, the more I want to keep talking to you, Fay.”
“You like my words?”
“I like your words.”
I took a deep breath. “Well then I better shut up.”
I walked faster, and he didn’t match my pace. As he fell behind, he called after me, “I hope to talk to you again soon, Fay.”
I
I felt my cheeks go hot. We walked quietly for a bit. “Give me a minute; I’m trying to think of something to say.” I had never felt so provoked. In a good way. In a blood racing through my veins way.
“Don’t blame me, I tried to back out, but you insisted on honesty.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, as though that might keep him from seeing inside me and knowing how very fast my heart was beating. I’d never had this sort of conversation with a boy. “I’m going to tell you this last thing, and then I really need you to go.”
His smile widened.
“You’re pretty sure of yourself.” I shook my head at him.
“Maybe I think the same thing about you.”
I waved my hand to dismiss that. I was anything but sure, I was just fairly unafraid. There was a difference. “I guess it’s okay if I tell you. I’m surprised you don’t already know. I’m pretty sure Celia thinks you know. But then again, don’t people always assume other people are thinking about them more than they actually are?”
“Maybe, but sometimes it’s the other way around. Sometimes someone is thinking of a person, and that person has no idea.”
I froze for a second. Did I sometimes pop into his mind the way he popped into mine? “Well, I guess that happens too. Anyway, I suppose if I can’t talk to you, it’s only fair for you to know why. I should warn you though, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.” I paused, trying to think of the right words. “My aunt and Celia have this idea that we should all ignore your family, because of something your dad did.”
“What did he do?”
I felt rather embarrassed to tell him. I didn’t want him to think my family was crazy. “I don’t know all the details, but I know your father called the police because of an argument between my uncle and aunt. My guess is that my uncle feels ashamed. They like to keep the fighting private.”
That wiped the smile off Malcolm’s face, as I thought it might. “I’m not trying to be rude or mysterious by staying away from you,” I continued. “I just need to keep from upsetting my family.”
His eyes widened at me. “Do you mean because you’re afraid they’ll hurt you?” He tensed and his posture went rigid.
“No, I don’t mean that, not at all. To be honest, I think the whole thing is kind of ridiculous. Clearly your dad was only trying to help. But Celia told me to stay away from you, or her dad would be angry. I heard him talk about your dad a few nights ago, and he really does hold a grudge. I guess they think if we all stay away from your family, nothing else bad can happen.” I swallowed. “My parents need me to stay here this summer, and so I want to respect my aunt and uncle’s rules.” I’d said more than I planned.
“Why do your parents need you to stay here?”
“If you keep asking follow-up questions, this will keep being a conversation, and I’m not supposed to be doing that with you.” I looked up at him, to see his smile was back.
“I hear what you’re saying. But is it family loyalty, or is it fear?”
“I’m not scared. And you’re still asking questions.”
“Nobody is anywhere near us right now to see that we’re talking.”
“This is a small town. I’ve heard all about small towns. Probably someone is watching us through binoculars out their kitchen window.”
“The more words you say, the more I want to keep talking to you, Fay.”
“You like my words?”
“I like your words.”
I took a deep breath. “Well then I better shut up.”
I walked faster, and he didn’t match my pace. As he fell behind, he called after me, “I hope to talk to you again soon, Fay.”
I
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