The Endearment by Lavyrle Spencer

to him here and now. Yet she was terrified lest he withdraw his proposal and the security it offered. She gave him a wavering smile.
    "We will make a good start ... just Karl and Anna ..." Then, with a full wide smile, he added, "and James."
    "Karl and Anna and James," she repeated, almost like a vow.
    Karl stood before her then. As she looked up, she noticed for the first time what straight teeth he had. Has he no flaws whatsoever? she wondered. Anna became ever more aware of a feeling of inferiority as she compared herself to him.
    "Come," he said nicely, "I will help you roll up these robes, then we will go tell Father Pierrot the decision is made and we are ready."
    Outwardly, Father Pierrot beamed as he shook their hands with great enthusiasm, saying, "I have every confidence that you will build a good and lasting marriage."
    Inwardly, he was troubled. Although he had led Karl to believe he'd received a special dispensation from the diocese to act as a witness while these two spoke their own vows, this was not altogether true. Bishop Cretin had sympathized with the couple's plight, but had adamantly refused, saying such dispensation must come from the Holy Father himself in Rome and could take one to two years to get. Father Pierrot found this attitude hard. After all, he was not asking to perform the Sacrament--this he knew would be entirely out of the question!
    So Father Pierrot had faced the dilemma of which dictates to follow, those of Holy Mother the Church or those of his own heart. Surely, it was a more Christian act to witness the sealing of vows between two such well-meaning souls and sanctify the union than to send them away to live in sin. This is the frontier, argued Michael Pierrot, the man within the ordained priest. This is the only church within a hundred miles, and these people have turned to it and to me with the best of intentions.
    Michael Pierrot's human side was swayed also by the fact that Karl Lindstrom was a good friend. Their relationship surmounted any differences of faith. Leading the way toward the humble sacristy, the priest thought of this marriage as wholly right, perhaps the most fitting he might ever perform.
    "Come, Anna, I will hear your confession now without delay, for I know you are both anxious to be on your way."
    Totally taken off guard, Anna came up short behind the black cassock. "My ... my confession?" she blurted out, appalled.
    "Yes, Anna, come," the priest said as he continued into the incense-scented vestry.
    Anna's legs seemed to have turned to mush. She had instructed James to tell Karl that they were devout Catholics, knowing that the man wanted a wife of Christian bent. Never had Karl told her in his letters this mission was Catholic. If he had, she would obligingly have told him she was some other religion, to avoid having to prove Catholicism. As it was, she was now entangled in another lie.
    "But can't I just ... I mean ... well, I don't want to go to confession."
    "Anna," the priest chided, turning around, "forgive me for being direct, but last night Karl and I talked. He said you admitted telling him lies. These are sins, my child. You must confess them, so you will be in a state of grace before entering the state of marriage. Surely you know this."
    Of course she didn't know this. All she knew about the Catholic church was that it was warm inside St. Mark's, and they refused no one entry there.
    "But ... but I've told Karl I'm sorry and I've promised I won't lie any more. Isn't that enough?"
    "It is not enough for a Catholic. You know that confession is necessary, Anna, to cleanse the soul."
    The priest truly didn't understand her reluctance.
    She fidgeted and shifted from foot to foot, refusing to look at him while Karl, too, wondered at Anna's hesitation. With growing trepidation, Anna realized the only confession she would be making here today was the truth. She bit the inside of her lip, clasped her hands tightly behind her back, then, big-eyed and brave,