plant uprooted from its garden and put in a strange place. I waited until the coffee came and then asked her if she was prepared to go there. She said yes in a tone expressing all the discipline and readiness for everything that the instructors try to inculcate. We finished the meal, I told her to carry on with her sightseeing and job-seeking, and when I escorted her to the taxi that I ordered for her, she shook my hand, as if we were parting. The next day I informed HQ that she wasnât ready yet, and we should delay herplacement in the target zone for a few months; they argued with me a little, as always, and reminded me we werenât a travel agency. I told them that they should stop hassling me, that I didnât ask for their opinion.
âIt turned out I was right. She was highly motivated and an outstanding pupil, but there was a big difference between a course under laboratory conditions and a long stay in Rome, playing the tourist and working as an English teacher. We were together for three months and traveled all around Europe. She established her cover and practiced again and again all the tricks she had learned in training, and I stayed in the background. At a distance, but close enough to see how she was performing, to question her afterwards and make evaluations, and then send her off for further practice until she was satisfied. She and I both knew this was her last opportunity to get feedback from someone standing right behind her and being able to see how she was coping. In the Arab country she would be alone and we would know of her only from her reports. I made a point of involving myself in everything she did. I explained to her that she didnât only need to know everything about the personality she was adopting, she had to project it too, to create a situation where some questions wonât need to be asked, where someone looking at her will automatically understand who she is.
âSo what did I do? Iâll give you an example. I sent her to get her hair styled because I thought that with a straight cut she would look more stern and assertive, the kind of woman not many men would want to have an affair with. I told her to give up the murderous diet she had imposed on herself after all the cookies and sandwiches that they ate during the training period, and she looked at me as if I was intruding on matters that were not my concern, but she did as I asked. And once she realized I wasnât threatening her, and I realized she wasnât falling in love with me, I dared to ask about her menstrualcycle. At first she blushed, and then her face went blank and turned a new color, as if she were putting on armor. I suppose that today no one would dare to have such a conversation with a subordinate, for fear of being accused of sexual harassment, but then things were different, and I explained that her health wasnât just a personal matter; it could affect her work and her ability to function. She had a way of talking about intimate things, which gave me the impression that she was exposing the facts to me but not her feelings. This worried me, and I asked her again and again what she was feeling, and, in her particular way, she tried to reassure me while continuing to be evasive.
âAnd so we came to the evening before the flight. We were in Milan, in her hotel room facing the towers of the Duomo. In the morning I had sent her there to pray for the last time, which amused her. We were speaking English. I insisted on that, and of course for her it was no problem. French is my mother tongue, so speaking English was more of an effort for me. I knew the next day she would be going there for the first time, and she must not, simply must not, even think in Hebrew. She laughed at my accent, and this was good. Itâs important to laugh. A year later, when she was already coming and going from the Arab capital the way you fly to London, she told me all these precautions seemed stupid to her,
âIt turned out I was right. She was highly motivated and an outstanding pupil, but there was a big difference between a course under laboratory conditions and a long stay in Rome, playing the tourist and working as an English teacher. We were together for three months and traveled all around Europe. She established her cover and practiced again and again all the tricks she had learned in training, and I stayed in the background. At a distance, but close enough to see how she was performing, to question her afterwards and make evaluations, and then send her off for further practice until she was satisfied. She and I both knew this was her last opportunity to get feedback from someone standing right behind her and being able to see how she was coping. In the Arab country she would be alone and we would know of her only from her reports. I made a point of involving myself in everything she did. I explained to her that she didnât only need to know everything about the personality she was adopting, she had to project it too, to create a situation where some questions wonât need to be asked, where someone looking at her will automatically understand who she is.
âSo what did I do? Iâll give you an example. I sent her to get her hair styled because I thought that with a straight cut she would look more stern and assertive, the kind of woman not many men would want to have an affair with. I told her to give up the murderous diet she had imposed on herself after all the cookies and sandwiches that they ate during the training period, and she looked at me as if I was intruding on matters that were not my concern, but she did as I asked. And once she realized I wasnât threatening her, and I realized she wasnât falling in love with me, I dared to ask about her menstrualcycle. At first she blushed, and then her face went blank and turned a new color, as if she were putting on armor. I suppose that today no one would dare to have such a conversation with a subordinate, for fear of being accused of sexual harassment, but then things were different, and I explained that her health wasnât just a personal matter; it could affect her work and her ability to function. She had a way of talking about intimate things, which gave me the impression that she was exposing the facts to me but not her feelings. This worried me, and I asked her again and again what she was feeling, and, in her particular way, she tried to reassure me while continuing to be evasive.
âAnd so we came to the evening before the flight. We were in Milan, in her hotel room facing the towers of the Duomo. In the morning I had sent her there to pray for the last time, which amused her. We were speaking English. I insisted on that, and of course for her it was no problem. French is my mother tongue, so speaking English was more of an effort for me. I knew the next day she would be going there for the first time, and she must not, simply must not, even think in Hebrew. She laughed at my accent, and this was good. Itâs important to laugh. A year later, when she was already coming and going from the Arab capital the way you fly to London, she told me all these precautions seemed stupid to her,
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