habit. And don’t even think of balking at price tags or saying something like “Five hundred dollars for a pair of shoes?”
Maintain your good looks. Hit the gym and slather on the Rogaine. She didn’t marry you because you were balding and fat!
Never put her jeans in the wash or be prepared for a bad scene. (They’re dry-clean-only denim; you should know that by now.) The same goes for bras. Dryers warp them, mister, so let them air-dry over a rack in the bathroom.
Cultivate your sense of humor and indulge her fashion fantasies. Never laugh at her outfits.
Unforgivable.
Learn the names of important designers and be able to spot them from a block away.
Say
unflattering,
not
fat. Fat
should never be used to describe any part of your girl, or even in the presence of her, come to think of it. Not even if you’re talking about meat or bacon.
Quick Tips for Making Over Your Man
Do it gently. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was any self-respecting fashionisto.
Stay true to who he is at heart. Work his new style around his needs. You’re not trying to change him, just improve him. If you are trying to change him, it may be time to think about finding someone else.
Begin by getting him new beauty products and work your way up from there. Once he sees the subtle differences lotion or hair gel can make, he will be more apt to try on the jeans you recommend.
Ooh, ah, and compliment him to death. Changing a man’s style is a lot like changing someone’s grip on a tennis racket. It will be uncomfortable for him at first, but if he sees how positively you respond, he will get used to it—and realize how much better-off he is.
Make sure he gets good shoes. Shoes are the most important part of anyone’s look. Even if it’s sneakers, they need to be the right sneakers (more of this in the closet chapter, which is next).
Once you have new shoes, get to the jeans. His jeans should be relaxed and sitting on his hips, not his waist. Also, they should not, under any circumstances, taper at the bottom or be too baggy—or too tight—through the hip area. Introduce him to the bootleg cut. When you get them altered, if they need shortening, tell the tailor to keep the same kind of seam intact.
Destroy all of his pleated pants. There is nothing worse than a cute guy in pleats. Invest in flat-front, flat-front, flat-front. We cannot stress that enough!
Get him at least one crisp white button-down shirt, one shirt with French cuffs, and silver cuff links.
If his hair needs a new look, take him to your place—your treat—and act like it’s a gift, something you’re doing just to be nice . . . which, of course, you are. You want him to look better. If that’s not nice, what is?
THE UPS, THE DOWNS, THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY—THE CREEDS THAT GIVE US CRED
Like the Jews, the Hare Krishnas, and other minority groups, fashionistas have endured much persecution, i.e., magazine intern-ships and multiple prom dress mishaps! It is because of our struggles of yesteryear that we are who we are today. Before you, as a fashionista, can enter a room in the drop-dead dress that causes a sensation, you must understand that the path to red-carpet glory is littered with the obstacles of fashion flops of the past. We are a people who relentlessly try the new, the daring, the impossible to explain. And therefore we have paid the consequences. We have found ourselves suffocating in the heat because we just had to wear our new leather motocross trousers . . . in August. We’ve been in the podiatrist’s office, nursing ingrown toenails as a result of shoes that were too pointy and too small (but we had to have them anyway). And we’re all the better because of it. Here’s a look at some of our flops that made history.
A Hair-raising Tale
MELISSA
I am a survivor of an all-girl private high school in the snooty Pacific Heights area of San Francisco. As anyone can tell you, high school can be rough, but imagine if the only
Maintain your good looks. Hit the gym and slather on the Rogaine. She didn’t marry you because you were balding and fat!
Never put her jeans in the wash or be prepared for a bad scene. (They’re dry-clean-only denim; you should know that by now.) The same goes for bras. Dryers warp them, mister, so let them air-dry over a rack in the bathroom.
Cultivate your sense of humor and indulge her fashion fantasies. Never laugh at her outfits.
Unforgivable.
Learn the names of important designers and be able to spot them from a block away.
Say
unflattering,
not
fat. Fat
should never be used to describe any part of your girl, or even in the presence of her, come to think of it. Not even if you’re talking about meat or bacon.
Quick Tips for Making Over Your Man
Do it gently. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was any self-respecting fashionisto.
Stay true to who he is at heart. Work his new style around his needs. You’re not trying to change him, just improve him. If you are trying to change him, it may be time to think about finding someone else.
Begin by getting him new beauty products and work your way up from there. Once he sees the subtle differences lotion or hair gel can make, he will be more apt to try on the jeans you recommend.
Ooh, ah, and compliment him to death. Changing a man’s style is a lot like changing someone’s grip on a tennis racket. It will be uncomfortable for him at first, but if he sees how positively you respond, he will get used to it—and realize how much better-off he is.
Make sure he gets good shoes. Shoes are the most important part of anyone’s look. Even if it’s sneakers, they need to be the right sneakers (more of this in the closet chapter, which is next).
Once you have new shoes, get to the jeans. His jeans should be relaxed and sitting on his hips, not his waist. Also, they should not, under any circumstances, taper at the bottom or be too baggy—or too tight—through the hip area. Introduce him to the bootleg cut. When you get them altered, if they need shortening, tell the tailor to keep the same kind of seam intact.
Destroy all of his pleated pants. There is nothing worse than a cute guy in pleats. Invest in flat-front, flat-front, flat-front. We cannot stress that enough!
Get him at least one crisp white button-down shirt, one shirt with French cuffs, and silver cuff links.
If his hair needs a new look, take him to your place—your treat—and act like it’s a gift, something you’re doing just to be nice . . . which, of course, you are. You want him to look better. If that’s not nice, what is?
THE UPS, THE DOWNS, THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY—THE CREEDS THAT GIVE US CRED
Like the Jews, the Hare Krishnas, and other minority groups, fashionistas have endured much persecution, i.e., magazine intern-ships and multiple prom dress mishaps! It is because of our struggles of yesteryear that we are who we are today. Before you, as a fashionista, can enter a room in the drop-dead dress that causes a sensation, you must understand that the path to red-carpet glory is littered with the obstacles of fashion flops of the past. We are a people who relentlessly try the new, the daring, the impossible to explain. And therefore we have paid the consequences. We have found ourselves suffocating in the heat because we just had to wear our new leather motocross trousers . . . in August. We’ve been in the podiatrist’s office, nursing ingrown toenails as a result of shoes that were too pointy and too small (but we had to have them anyway). And we’re all the better because of it. Here’s a look at some of our flops that made history.
A Hair-raising Tale
MELISSA
I am a survivor of an all-girl private high school in the snooty Pacific Heights area of San Francisco. As anyone can tell you, high school can be rough, but imagine if the only
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