startled, but undeterred.
‘What’s your name?’
‘Effoff.’ I smile, through gritted teeth.
‘That’s pretty! Effoff! I ain’t heard that before. Is it Swedish?’
I snort in derision and wave my hands to dismiss him. He slopes off back to his mates, looking more than a little bit confused.
Just then Casey arrives with a bottle of champagne. ‘Here we go! I thought we’d start with something bubbly to get the party going!’ Her eyes hover around and then return to me. ‘Here’s to being young, free and single . . . and to, er, meeting new men!’ She pours me a glass and I down the lot. I’m going to need it tonight.
An hour later, I’ve consumed pretty much an entire bottle and I’m on the dance floor working some moves out to ‘Crazy in Love’. And I’m doing a pretty darned good job of it too! In my head and with a bottle of champagne inside me and in this dress, I reckon I can basically pass as Beyonce herself. I’m now re-enacting the video, with Hermes Guy who’s happily taken the role of Jay-Z. I was a bit harsh on him earlier. He’s actually really, really nice and I am looking well hot, so why does Casey keep trying to pull me off the dance floor? Now I can see why she gets pissed off when I try and stop her from having fun. I thought I was being protective; I realize now it’s just annoying .
‘Hey!’ I say, as she tries to steer me back to the VIP room. ‘What are you doing? I’m having a lovely time, dancing with whatshisface over there. Did you see me?’
I do a version of the booty dance but add the leg and arm waggle Mia and I created at uni for good measure. ‘Uh oh!’ I sing tunelessly as I edge back onto the dance floor. ‘This is fuuuuun, Case! Look at me, I’m having fuun!!!’ And for some reason, known only to me, I start doing the Robot.
Casey shakes her head and beckons me back over. ‘Come on, Moll,’ she pleads. ‘Let’s go and sit back down. I’ve bought us another bottle!’
‘YAY!’ I squeal. ‘But I’m going to finish dancing first, OK? Because I’m good at it! Look!’ And then I start flailing my arms around feeling as free and uninhibited as I’ve felt for ages. It’s 11 p.m., it’s New Year’s Eve and I’m young, free and single!
‘Please,’ Casey begs, trying to drag me away. ‘Molly, please come with me before you see . . . ’
‘Before I see wha— Uh . . . oh.’ I’ve hooked my hand around my ankle and my hand is behind my head, when I turn around and see him. Ryan. Across the dance floor. Kissing someone. A girl. A tall, blonde, beautiful girl.
A girl that’s not me.
‘I’m sorry,’ Casey says sorrowfully, slipping her arm through mine and trying to lead me away but I am stuck to the floor. ‘I tried to warn you.’
Everything seems to stop then, the music, the people, and I swear it is just him and me in the room.
Oh, and her.
I stare for a moment, I see him look up and over at me. He stops kissing her and pulls away. She says something but he shakes his head. She walks off. Then he raises his hand to his forehead, rubs it and sweeps it over his head like he does when he’s anxious. Then he looks at me, sorrowfully. I can’t move, I want to move but I can’t. I just stand there, on one leg, like a . . . flamingo, staring at him as the song changes and Casey tries to pull me away again.
‘Don’t do this to yourself,’ she says, taking my head in hers and forcing me to look her in the eye. ‘You were doing so well. Come on, let’s go now, Molly.’
I lower my leg, still staring at him. I wish I hadn’t seen it, but he’s single, he can do what he likes. So I just nod at him and I turn, and as I look back he raises his hand to his lips, as if to blow me a kiss. But instead, he just drops his hand so the kiss falls to the floor and he disappears. I want to run over there and scrabble around on the floor, like I do when I’m looking for a lost contact lens. I want that kiss. I want him. Why did I throw it
‘What’s your name?’
‘Effoff.’ I smile, through gritted teeth.
‘That’s pretty! Effoff! I ain’t heard that before. Is it Swedish?’
I snort in derision and wave my hands to dismiss him. He slopes off back to his mates, looking more than a little bit confused.
Just then Casey arrives with a bottle of champagne. ‘Here we go! I thought we’d start with something bubbly to get the party going!’ Her eyes hover around and then return to me. ‘Here’s to being young, free and single . . . and to, er, meeting new men!’ She pours me a glass and I down the lot. I’m going to need it tonight.
An hour later, I’ve consumed pretty much an entire bottle and I’m on the dance floor working some moves out to ‘Crazy in Love’. And I’m doing a pretty darned good job of it too! In my head and with a bottle of champagne inside me and in this dress, I reckon I can basically pass as Beyonce herself. I’m now re-enacting the video, with Hermes Guy who’s happily taken the role of Jay-Z. I was a bit harsh on him earlier. He’s actually really, really nice and I am looking well hot, so why does Casey keep trying to pull me off the dance floor? Now I can see why she gets pissed off when I try and stop her from having fun. I thought I was being protective; I realize now it’s just annoying .
‘Hey!’ I say, as she tries to steer me back to the VIP room. ‘What are you doing? I’m having a lovely time, dancing with whatshisface over there. Did you see me?’
I do a version of the booty dance but add the leg and arm waggle Mia and I created at uni for good measure. ‘Uh oh!’ I sing tunelessly as I edge back onto the dance floor. ‘This is fuuuuun, Case! Look at me, I’m having fuun!!!’ And for some reason, known only to me, I start doing the Robot.
Casey shakes her head and beckons me back over. ‘Come on, Moll,’ she pleads. ‘Let’s go and sit back down. I’ve bought us another bottle!’
‘YAY!’ I squeal. ‘But I’m going to finish dancing first, OK? Because I’m good at it! Look!’ And then I start flailing my arms around feeling as free and uninhibited as I’ve felt for ages. It’s 11 p.m., it’s New Year’s Eve and I’m young, free and single!
‘Please,’ Casey begs, trying to drag me away. ‘Molly, please come with me before you see . . . ’
‘Before I see wha— Uh . . . oh.’ I’ve hooked my hand around my ankle and my hand is behind my head, when I turn around and see him. Ryan. Across the dance floor. Kissing someone. A girl. A tall, blonde, beautiful girl.
A girl that’s not me.
‘I’m sorry,’ Casey says sorrowfully, slipping her arm through mine and trying to lead me away but I am stuck to the floor. ‘I tried to warn you.’
Everything seems to stop then, the music, the people, and I swear it is just him and me in the room.
Oh, and her.
I stare for a moment, I see him look up and over at me. He stops kissing her and pulls away. She says something but he shakes his head. She walks off. Then he raises his hand to his forehead, rubs it and sweeps it over his head like he does when he’s anxious. Then he looks at me, sorrowfully. I can’t move, I want to move but I can’t. I just stand there, on one leg, like a . . . flamingo, staring at him as the song changes and Casey tries to pull me away again.
‘Don’t do this to yourself,’ she says, taking my head in hers and forcing me to look her in the eye. ‘You were doing so well. Come on, let’s go now, Molly.’
I lower my leg, still staring at him. I wish I hadn’t seen it, but he’s single, he can do what he likes. So I just nod at him and I turn, and as I look back he raises his hand to his lips, as if to blow me a kiss. But instead, he just drops his hand so the kiss falls to the floor and he disappears. I want to run over there and scrabble around on the floor, like I do when I’m looking for a lost contact lens. I want that kiss. I want him. Why did I throw it
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