meant finding out what was waiting in those evergreens. Half of me was so heartbroke I wanted to fling myself into the stream and grab her, hold her before she could slip back to wherever she’d risen from. I might as well have lost her five minutes ago, the pain was that sharp. Hot tears poured down my face like there was no tomorrow.
Then she opened her eyes. I whimpered, that’s the only word for it, this high-pitched noise that forced its way out of my mouth. Marie’s eyes, her warm, brown eyes, which had held so much of passion and kindness, were gone, replaced by flat, yellow-gold disks, by the dull dead eyes of a fish. As she stared impassively up at me, I was suddenly seized by the conviction that, if I were to haul her out of the raging stream, I would find the rest of her similarly transformed, her lovely body given over to rows of slime-crusted scales and sharp fins. My arms and legs, and everything in between, were shaking so badly it was all I could do to keep standing where I was.
Her lips parted, and Marie spoke. When she did, it was faint, as if she were simultaneously calling to me from across a vast distance and whispering in my ear. “Abe,” she said, in what I recognized straight away as her voice, but her voice with a difference, as if it were coming from a throat that wasn’t used to it anymore.
I nodded to her, my tongue dumb in my mouth, and she went on in that same distant-close way. “He’s a fisherman, too.” Her words were slurred, from the hook piercing her lip.
Again, I nodded, unsure whom she was referring to. Dan?
“Some streams run deep,” Marie said.
My lips trembling, I mumbled, “M-M-Marie?”
“Deep and dark,” she said.
“Honey?” I said.
“He waits,” she went on.
“Who?” I asked. “What do you mean?”
I couldn’t understand her answer, a word the hook tugging her lip wouldn’t let her get her mouth around. The word, or name, collapsed in the saying, a mess of syllables that I thought sounded German, or Dutch. “There fissure”? That was what it sounded like. Before I could ask her to repeat it, Marie said, “What’s lost is lost, Abe.”
“The who?” I said, still trying to piece together those syllables.
“What’s lost is lost,” Marie said. “What’s lost is lost.”
From the spot where my lure pierced her lip, a deep gash raced up her face into her hair, splitting her skin. As I watched, horrified, the edges of it peeled away from each other, revealing something shining and scaled underneath. I cried out, stumbling backwards, and without a backward glance Marie dove beneath the rushing white stream. The fishing line, locked in place, tightened, pulling me headlong toward the water, my hands unable to release their grip on the rod. A half-dozen lurching steps, and I was at the water’s edge, which bubbled and danced like a thing alive. I knew, with dream-certainty, that under no circumstances did I want to venture any nearer that stream. I was dizzy with fear, of Marie, of whatever was in there with her, of the very water itself, which chuckled and laughed at my desperate struggle to avoid it. I fought furiously, digging my heels into the sand as I was dragged forward. For a moment, the line relaxed and, fool that I am, so did I. This meant that when the next big tug came, I flew headlong into the white water and open mouths full of white teeth, rows and rows of white teeth in white water, and beyond them—
Sitting bolt upright on the living room couch, I woke, mouth dry, heart pounding.
III
At Herman’s Diner
With the benefit of hindsight, I find it difficult not to see that dream as an omen. To be honest, I can’t see now how I could have taken it for anything else. That’s the problem with telling stories, though, isn’t it? After the dust has settled, when you sit down to piece together what happened, and maybe more importantly how it happened, so you might have some hope of knowing why it happened, there are
Then she opened her eyes. I whimpered, that’s the only word for it, this high-pitched noise that forced its way out of my mouth. Marie’s eyes, her warm, brown eyes, which had held so much of passion and kindness, were gone, replaced by flat, yellow-gold disks, by the dull dead eyes of a fish. As she stared impassively up at me, I was suddenly seized by the conviction that, if I were to haul her out of the raging stream, I would find the rest of her similarly transformed, her lovely body given over to rows of slime-crusted scales and sharp fins. My arms and legs, and everything in between, were shaking so badly it was all I could do to keep standing where I was.
Her lips parted, and Marie spoke. When she did, it was faint, as if she were simultaneously calling to me from across a vast distance and whispering in my ear. “Abe,” she said, in what I recognized straight away as her voice, but her voice with a difference, as if it were coming from a throat that wasn’t used to it anymore.
I nodded to her, my tongue dumb in my mouth, and she went on in that same distant-close way. “He’s a fisherman, too.” Her words were slurred, from the hook piercing her lip.
Again, I nodded, unsure whom she was referring to. Dan?
“Some streams run deep,” Marie said.
My lips trembling, I mumbled, “M-M-Marie?”
“Deep and dark,” she said.
“Honey?” I said.
“He waits,” she went on.
“Who?” I asked. “What do you mean?”
I couldn’t understand her answer, a word the hook tugging her lip wouldn’t let her get her mouth around. The word, or name, collapsed in the saying, a mess of syllables that I thought sounded German, or Dutch. “There fissure”? That was what it sounded like. Before I could ask her to repeat it, Marie said, “What’s lost is lost, Abe.”
“The who?” I said, still trying to piece together those syllables.
“What’s lost is lost,” Marie said. “What’s lost is lost.”
From the spot where my lure pierced her lip, a deep gash raced up her face into her hair, splitting her skin. As I watched, horrified, the edges of it peeled away from each other, revealing something shining and scaled underneath. I cried out, stumbling backwards, and without a backward glance Marie dove beneath the rushing white stream. The fishing line, locked in place, tightened, pulling me headlong toward the water, my hands unable to release their grip on the rod. A half-dozen lurching steps, and I was at the water’s edge, which bubbled and danced like a thing alive. I knew, with dream-certainty, that under no circumstances did I want to venture any nearer that stream. I was dizzy with fear, of Marie, of whatever was in there with her, of the very water itself, which chuckled and laughed at my desperate struggle to avoid it. I fought furiously, digging my heels into the sand as I was dragged forward. For a moment, the line relaxed and, fool that I am, so did I. This meant that when the next big tug came, I flew headlong into the white water and open mouths full of white teeth, rows and rows of white teeth in white water, and beyond them—
Sitting bolt upright on the living room couch, I woke, mouth dry, heart pounding.
III
At Herman’s Diner
With the benefit of hindsight, I find it difficult not to see that dream as an omen. To be honest, I can’t see now how I could have taken it for anything else. That’s the problem with telling stories, though, isn’t it? After the dust has settled, when you sit down to piece together what happened, and maybe more importantly how it happened, so you might have some hope of knowing why it happened, there are
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