The Folly by Irina Shapiro

out why you can’t sleep, why you blush every time a certain someone walks into the room , or the intense disappointment you feel when it’s the wrong person.”
    “What are you saying?”
    “I thought I was being perfectly clear,” Willa put down the brush and took Elizabeth by the shoulders , turning her away from the mirror and toward herself.
    “ My lady , you have been married for two years, but you ’ ve never known love or desire.  You never had the chance to experience passion.  Now your body has awoken, even if your mind hasn’t recognized it yet.  You are in love.”
    Elizabeth put her arms around Willa and buried her face in the girl’s apron.  “Oh, Willa, what are you saying?  I can’t be in love.  Jeremy is my stepson.  I ’ m married to Sir Henry for better or worse.  What am I to do with this knowledge , or this yearning that’s eating me up from the inside?  All I can think of is him.  I listen for the sound of his voice , or his footsteps in the hall.  I think of all the things I would like to tell him , and I want him to tell me what he ’ s thinking and feeling , and most of all ; I want to touch him.  I have never longed to touch a man before.”
    Willa stroked Elizabeth ’s head, trying to soothe her.  “Oh, my lady, I don’t know what you are to do with these feelings, but it’s a sin to let them die.  You haven’t lived till you’ve known love.  There is no feeling in the world like having the man you love make love to you.  It’s like Heaven on Earth.”
    Elizabeth looked up at Willa surprised.  “Willa, have you been in love?  Have you lain with a man?”  Willa blushed furiously and nodded. 
    “I was in love with Matthew, the footman, before I came to Flynn Manor with you.  He wanted to marry me.” 
    “Oh, Willa.  I ruined everything for you.  I am so sorry.  You didn’t say.  I would have left you if I knew.”
    “It’s all right, my lady.  It’s all water under the bridge now, isn’t it?  There’ll be someone else,” replied Willa, sadly.
     
    Elizabeth spent a sleepless night thinking about what Willa said.  Now that it had been pointed out to her, it was clear as day.  She was in love for the first time in her life , and it hurt way more than never having love at all.  Now she knew exactly what she was missing , and there was no way out.  Sir Henry would never release her.  Even if he never got a child on her, he was still getting her money , and he would never let that go.  His finances had taken a blow a few years back and he needed her money to maintain the estate.  She was trapped in this loveless marriage with no way out.  She always thought that if an opportunity presented itself she would take it, but how could she do this to her husband?  He ’ d been good to her , and although she felt no affection for him, to betray him with his son would be unforgivable.  Elizabeth kicked off the blanket feeling as if she couldn’t breathe , and buried her face in the pillow.  Hot, bitter tears rolled down her face, the pillow absorbing her sobs.

 
    Chapter 10
     
    Jeremy put down his book unable to concentrate on the words.  He ’ d read the same paragraph three times, but had no idea what it said , and knew it was time to give up.  The house was quiet and dark, everyone asleep.  His father had gone up about an hour ago and Elizabeth retired shortly after dinner.  She seemed agitated , and he knew exactly how she felt.  He leaned back in the leather armchair and closed his eyes.  He knew that the right thing to do would be to leave this house.  Nothing good could come out of this situation, but he couldn’t bring himself to go.  For the first time in years , he felt as if he had a real home and someone who actually cared about him.  He woke up every morning with the thought of Elizabeth , and fell asleep at night with her face before his eyes. 
    Jeremy was no stranger to women.  There had been maids at school who