is. I...” He hesitated and then the movement of his hands became so rapid I had to really concentrate to keep up. “The only reason that I’m deaf is because of a car accident with my parents. We were driving home and a car appeared and hit us. The crash caused damage to my inner ear so that I can’t relay sound waves to my brain.
"Both my parents were seriously injured. My mum was okay, she had a broken arm and other external injuries but my dad. My dad went into a coma. Is still in a coma. Mum realized that she couldn’t cope with me. Being deaf meant that I was too much hard work and she could barely look after herself. She didn’t have the time or energy to learn sign language with me and I had to learn on my own. She tried to get me into a disabled school but she’s been so torn up and broken about Dad that she just hasn’t paid much attention to anything.
“She decided that it would be best for me if I went away for a while. I don’t know how long and I don’t even know if she remembers me. She spends most of her time at the hospital with Dad and she never calls to ask about me.
“Here I am, living with my aunt who has had to start learning sign language just so she can accommodate me. Most of the time she doesn’t try and writes it down on the whiteboard. She has other kids to look after as well as me, I can’t demand all of her attention and I try not to. My cousins feel uncomfortable around me and don’t know what to say.
“I feel like it’s all my fault.”
As he spoke, I could feel my heart breaking inside. I couldn’t believe all the pain and hurt that he was going through and the fact that he had no-one to share it with. It explained a lot of things. Like how his signing was so poor, his confidence so low and his shyness so apparent.
I reached up and threw my arms around his neck. I pulled him close to me and held him there. I felt him bury his face in my hair and I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. We sat clutching each other for a while before we finally let go.
I looked at him and held his gaze, refusing to let him look away. I wanted to help in any way I could but I had never felt as hopeless as I did at that moment. I reached up and traced my fingers across his cheek. He placed his hand over the top of mine and held my gaze.
“I am so sorry,” I signed, pulling away.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know, but I wish there was something I could do to help.”
“You have helped. In so many ways, Jocelyn. You have taught me to sign properly. You have shown me the true wonders of the simple world around me and you have taught me most importantly to treasure all of it, no matter how insignificant it may seem.”
He picked up my hand and gently kissed my palm. His lips were so soft and they made my whole body shiver. I leaned forwards and kissed the top of his hair. He moved his face up to look at me and I kissed his cheek, then his lips. I touched him as lightly as possible, lingering on his skin. His hand moved up into my hair and brought me close to him once again. I could feel his warm breath against mine as he kissed me and I didn’t want the moment to end.
He pulled away and looked me in the eyes. I smiled and bent my head down onto his lap. We sat watching the last of the sun as he gently pulled his fingers through my hair. It was therapeutic and relaxing. His other hand was interlocked with mine on his lap and his thumb lightly traced the outline of my lips.
I think that’s the memory that sticks in my mind the clearest. It’s so precious to me. The way we could just be with each other and not feel the need to talk or do something. We would happily sit together in the comfort of knowing that the person sat with us was the one we wanted to be there.
I don’t think I had ever been at such peace as I was then. It’s strange to think that at such a young age I could feel like that. He was the only person that had sparked such emotions in me. It surprised and
"Both my parents were seriously injured. My mum was okay, she had a broken arm and other external injuries but my dad. My dad went into a coma. Is still in a coma. Mum realized that she couldn’t cope with me. Being deaf meant that I was too much hard work and she could barely look after herself. She didn’t have the time or energy to learn sign language with me and I had to learn on my own. She tried to get me into a disabled school but she’s been so torn up and broken about Dad that she just hasn’t paid much attention to anything.
“She decided that it would be best for me if I went away for a while. I don’t know how long and I don’t even know if she remembers me. She spends most of her time at the hospital with Dad and she never calls to ask about me.
“Here I am, living with my aunt who has had to start learning sign language just so she can accommodate me. Most of the time she doesn’t try and writes it down on the whiteboard. She has other kids to look after as well as me, I can’t demand all of her attention and I try not to. My cousins feel uncomfortable around me and don’t know what to say.
“I feel like it’s all my fault.”
As he spoke, I could feel my heart breaking inside. I couldn’t believe all the pain and hurt that he was going through and the fact that he had no-one to share it with. It explained a lot of things. Like how his signing was so poor, his confidence so low and his shyness so apparent.
I reached up and threw my arms around his neck. I pulled him close to me and held him there. I felt him bury his face in my hair and I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. We sat clutching each other for a while before we finally let go.
I looked at him and held his gaze, refusing to let him look away. I wanted to help in any way I could but I had never felt as hopeless as I did at that moment. I reached up and traced my fingers across his cheek. He placed his hand over the top of mine and held my gaze.
“I am so sorry,” I signed, pulling away.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know, but I wish there was something I could do to help.”
“You have helped. In so many ways, Jocelyn. You have taught me to sign properly. You have shown me the true wonders of the simple world around me and you have taught me most importantly to treasure all of it, no matter how insignificant it may seem.”
He picked up my hand and gently kissed my palm. His lips were so soft and they made my whole body shiver. I leaned forwards and kissed the top of his hair. He moved his face up to look at me and I kissed his cheek, then his lips. I touched him as lightly as possible, lingering on his skin. His hand moved up into my hair and brought me close to him once again. I could feel his warm breath against mine as he kissed me and I didn’t want the moment to end.
He pulled away and looked me in the eyes. I smiled and bent my head down onto his lap. We sat watching the last of the sun as he gently pulled his fingers through my hair. It was therapeutic and relaxing. His other hand was interlocked with mine on his lap and his thumb lightly traced the outline of my lips.
I think that’s the memory that sticks in my mind the clearest. It’s so precious to me. The way we could just be with each other and not feel the need to talk or do something. We would happily sit together in the comfort of knowing that the person sat with us was the one we wanted to be there.
I don’t think I had ever been at such peace as I was then. It’s strange to think that at such a young age I could feel like that. He was the only person that had sparked such emotions in me. It surprised and
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