The Gap of Time by Jeanette Winterson

rages, affects. He’s a typical Alpha Male. They don’t grow up, they just get meaner.”
    “It’s the baby,” said MiMi. “He didn’t want another child.”
    “He’ll be fine,” said Pauline. “Leo’s got a good heart.”
    “He doesn’t love me anymore.”
    Xeno and Pauline looked at MiMi. Then they both started to talk at once.
    Ofcoursehelovesyouheworshipsyouhecan’tgetenoughofyouyouhavebeenthemakingofhimheknowsthathislifewouldbeemptywithoutyouareyoufeelingdepressedthat’snormalbeforebirthIknowheisn’tthatattentivebuthewatchesyoureverymove.
    “I think he’s having an affair.”
    Xeno and Pauline were silent.
    —
    “When I met Leo,” said MiMi, “he was all swagger and poise. He wanted to impress me with his car, his restaurants, his black American Express after-hours entry to museums and art galleries. He thought I’d like that. We went to the Louvre and the Musée d’Orsay when they were closed. He hired us a private guide. Leo wanted to get up close to the
Mona Lisa
and
L’Origine du monde
.”
    “A supermodel and a porn star,” said Xeno. “That’s Leo.”
    “He bought postcards of them both and sat looking at them in the car on the way back to his hotel. ‘The most famous woman in the world,’ he said, ‘after the Madonna, but nobody knows what she looks like.’ Then he sat with
L’Origine du monde
.
    “I said, ‘It’s just porn. She has no head. No identity.’ He became intense. He said, ‘It was painted as porn but it explains porn. These two images put together explain why men find women so threatening. The world comes out of your body and…’ (he was waving the
Mona Lisa
at me) ‘we have no idea what’s in your head. Do you know how frightening that is?’ ”
    “Leo said that?”
    “Yes. And he told me how when his mother left his father, she came to say goodbye and he didn’t know why she was leaving, and she said he was too young to understand, and he said, ‘I’m a grown man now and I still don’t understand.’ ”
    “And then?”
    “And then he tore the postcards in two and threw them out of the car window.”
    “Why did you never tell me this?”
    “But why do you think he’s having an affair?” said Pauline.
    “Leo is possessive but he is afraid of being close to anyone. He would push me away by seeing someone else.”
    Or he would just push you
…thought Xeno, but he didn’t say it.
    —
    MiMi was onstage with the sound guy.
    “Xeno!” said Pauline. “Get over here; I need to talk to you.”
    “What’s the matter, Pauline?”
    “I’m uneasy. There’s an old saying—where there’s trouble there’s more trouble. MiMi’s right. Leo’s been acting crazy for weeks. Has he said anything to you? About the baby? About MiMi?”
    “No. He’s just more annoying than usual, but he’s my friend so I forget about it. You know me—if there’s trouble I go sideways.”
    “You think he’s seeing someone?”
    Xeno shook his head. “The opposite. I don’t think he’s seeing anyone; that’s the problem. He’s blind in his own world—I thought it was about work. He disconnects—right?”
    “Yes, he’s great at the disconnect. But there’s more to this. Xeno—why are you leaving?”
    “I have things to do. My son needs me. But, if I am honest, yeah, I feel like I’ve outstayed my welcome.”
    “You’re family.”
    “You’re Jewish.”
    “So indulge me and be one big, happy family. It’s a fantasy but it’s a good one.”
    “I have to go Monday latest.”
    “MiMi needs a friend. And Leo is pretty unstable.”
    “We’re all unstable. Leo is like a cartoon of somebody who’s unstable, that’s all.”
    “Leo is like a cartoon of somebody who’s unstable who turns out to be himself.”
    —
    Leo was lying on the white sofa in his white office watching the planes take off. He was thinking of that Superman movie where Lois Lane is dead in her car and Superman reverses time by flying round the earth so fast that he shifts the