The Girls by Amy Goldman Koss

myself that I was just in a foul mood because I’d stayed up so late. “Mom,” I said, “why don’t you shoot those sweats and put them out of their misery?”
    She laughed as if I were joking. “I’ll just duck down and drop you,” she said, smiling. “I’ll circle the block and no one at the doughnut shop will know you even have a mother. How’s that?”
    I rolled my eyes at her and she laughed harder.
    I thought of Renée’s picture-perfect mother. Hair, makeup, nails, clothes. My mom could be much, much prettier than Renée’s mom, if she’d only spruce herself up a bit. But Mom dragged herself out of bed in the morning and pulled on the same sweat suit she’d worn the day before.
    Whenever I said anything about the bagged-out knees or the baby-food stains, she just laughed and said something like, “Well, I guess my career as a cover girl is over!” As if caring about her looks would be ridiculous.
    But I’d seen pictures of her before she had me, and she was really beautiful. She could have been a cover girl if she’d wanted to. But no, she decided to have babies. Lots of babies. I just didn’t get it.
    Brianna got it, though. The way she coochie-cooed the twerps, I bet she was going to have tons of kids. I could just see her calling on me to help the way Mom’s friend Joanne was always calling on her. “Candace! I have a cold. Could you drive my kids all over town, then stop and pick up some groceries and fix us lunch?”
    I felt my skin get hot. I had no intention of ending up like my mother, Caretaker of the Universe—taking care of everyone but herself. I’d say, “No, Brianna. You breed ‘em, you feed ’em!” I laughed out loud and my mom smiled over at me.
    â€œNick’s game will probably go until about two-thirty,” she said. “But I expect Daddy home by one. So, really, you’ll only be on duty about an hour or so. Okay?”
    â€œWhatever,” I said.
    â€œThanks,” Mom said, patting my leg.
    I wanted to say, “Mom! You could have done anything with your life! You were so cute! You even got good grades!” But instead I said, “You have a big knot in your hair in the back.”
    My mom reached up and raked at it with her fingers. I wondered if she was going to go to my bother’s soccer game like that. Probably.

Maya
    M Y LITTLE SISTER, LENA, knew something was wrong and was dying to know what had happened. But my folks kept shushing her and sending her out to play with Ann. I could see that Momma was aching for me, and that made me feel even worse. She made waffles, my favorite, but I couldn’t eat.
    I climbed as high as I could in the persimmon tree out back and wished I could just keep climbing forever, let the world shrink away to nothing beneath me—my house, my school, my ex-friends becoming nothing more than an anthill underfoot. Or that I could just spread my wings and soar away.
    My foot slipped and I had a split-second sensation of falling. I caught myself and froze, hugging the trunk of the tree until my heart calmed down.
    Then I realized that if I’d fallen, everyone would think I’d jumped. If I’d died from the fall, they’d think it was suicide. The girls would be sure I’d killed myself over them ! I could imagine how important that would make them feel—that they could hurt me so badly that I’d think my life wasn’t worth living. They’d mourn and act sad, but deep inside they’d feel great that they were so powerful.
    I climbed down very, very carefully, branch by branch.

Brianna
    C ANDACE CALLED ME when she got home from Sunday school. She said her mom had taken her bother to his soccer game, leaving Candace on duty with the twerps. She asked if I’d come over and help, seeing as I was their honorary auntie.
    I said I’d love to. I loved the twins and I loved, loved,